Welcome to A.A.; the place where you grow up in public."
After a few months in the program, I began hearing people share that their emotional development stopped at the age they started drinking. They said they felt as if they had the coping skills, and the emotional responses to situations and people, that they had when they were teenagers or younger. I was seventeen when I started drinking, and I, too, felt baffled at how to deal with people, places, and things. Many of my reactions were that of a selfish and self-centered adolescent.
When I started working the Steps, I heard another common saying that people also felt as if they had missed the day at school when they handed out the instruction manual to life. I really related to that. The good news, my sponsor assured me, was that the Twelve Steps would provide the best instruction ever, and that I only had to be rigorously honest and willing throughout the process. As I uncovered, discovered, and discarded my old self, and built a relationship with my Higher Power, I began to grow up but it wasnt always pretty
I made a lot of mistakes as I evolved and changed over the years. It was often embarrassing, and sometimes even a little humiliating, to admit my mistakes and some of my ongoing selfish thoughts and behaviors in the rooms with other people in meetings. But the acceptance I found, the identification and support I received, made it safe to discover myself and grow into the man I am today. And the laughter! When I learned to laugh at myself, I learned to forgive myself.
And thats what made growing up in public possible and even enjoyable at times.
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