and the He is my eldest son, a 52 year old alcoholic/addict who is a carrier of this disease just as I am. Difference is I'm alcohol free and sober and according to him he has spent the last short time; couple of months or so, not drinking or using. He is in the unmanageability part of his disease and trying to guess his way sober or think his way out of it. We know that exercise. It didn't work for me either. So he talked and I listened and posed some questions he didn't have the answers for. He isn't drinking; hanging with the drinkers and users but not doing the same. He is on his way out of the exercise and just decided he would not finish culturally starting his new garden. He hold my recovery at arms reach. He thinks AA isn't for him...could be and maybe not however my suggestion would be and 90X90 demonstration just for a try. He spoke of his relationship which is with a drinker user and who thinks he is a looser if he is planning to drink and use for much longer....insanity all around and then I know what that looks like, sounds like, feels like and works...been there and done that being left with strong memories of how to work it if I ever consider a retry...just for today...no thanks. I've never drank or used with him...he came to me at the age of 19 as a full fledged practisoner (?) of our did-ease and I divorced him...had to so hat we could reach present age. On the 19th I started half lifeing my recovery, same time sober as drinking and using...my former sponsor led me to that goal...37 years both sides I am now 75 years of age and needing my sobriety. I won't tell him how its done only how I did it...He can hold that experience up next to what it was like when I was active and he thought the world was crazy. We spoke of stuff in his present life that was tiring him out and causing concern and I just asked him "How would you like it to be and what are you willing to do to get it"? I think he has a feel for our path right now and he knows I know hundreds he can hook up with here at home that can help him solidly. Daddy doesn't have to it for him; Dad can watch him do it for himself. Thanks for letting me share.
Thanks for sharing that Jerry. My son would have also headed that way. I saw the dangerous ground he was on. My wife is always the sane one, and she decided that we should start praying and asking God for His help. Thank God, we arrested the alcohol long before it turned into addiction. I gave up my travelling and business interests just to focus on my family. My son is now 31 years old and my great friend. I pray that you will also have your son in recovery.
You always are a great friend to me and a loving person.
Mahalo Pappy and Gonee. The prayers are appreciated and run along with mine also. I am sure he also prays as he speaks of it a lot while still drinking and using...I imagine that God hears those prayers also and stands with my son as God stand with us. We must arrest our drinking along with the praying. (((hugs)))
In thought and prayer Jerry,I can identify with the pain,the "detachment with love" and the hole in our heart this devastating illness causes us and those we love.My son is now in his 8th year of Daily recovery from hard core Heroin addiction,that took my own recovery,my wife and I through stormy seas of which only the God of our understanding got us through as we cried ourselves to sleep at night for years.I will lift you ,your son and all the Loved ones around and in your life up to my God and pray for peace and serenity.WE know that WE didn't cause,can't control and can't cure what afflicts our loved ones but WE can continue to love them and Hate the disease..Be blessed in your journey brother,,WE do this together,,,,,
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
Right on Mike appreciate the ESH and shared comfort. I am not back checking my son as it has always been best for me and the "other" to stay out of God's way unless I am directed to that spot. "Place me where you want me; tell me what to do" is my version of the 3rd step prayer...I adhere to it. We just lost another AA/Al-Anon fellow who was also concerned for his son and alcohol...God's busy and more adept at this kind of works while we stand ready to support. There is no shortage of those affected by our disease we stand ready to be directed. Being a tool of the master craftsman is an honor. (((Hugs)))
