You can blame them for the way you are; you can only blame yourself for staying that way.
I had a rotten childhood. Torn away from my father when I was five, I never saw him again. Torn away from my older brothers and sister when I was seven, I rarely saw them when I was growing up. Like itinerant farm works, my mom, step dad and I moved constantly. I attended four different fifth-grades, and was always the outcast through my school years. Its no wonder I started drinking at seventeen years old and moved out of the apartment we lived in.
When I entered recovery, I kept to myself. I had no interest in fellowship, and I was guarded when speaking to my sponsor. Revealing myself through sharing at meetings, through inventories and other Step work was terrifying to me. I was going to keep much of myself in, and secretly I was going to keep blaming others. During my Fourth Step, my mom and step dad topped the list of resentments, and I laid the responsibility squarely on them for the way I turned out. And thats when my sponsor explained todays quote to me.
He told me that while my parents certainly had a huge impact over the first half of my life, it was now my choice as to how the second half would go. I could either choose to remain shut down, or I could have faith, clean house, and join the human race. Sure there would be times when I felt let down, hurt, or disrespected, but if I remained true to myself, I would make it through and grow stronger. He told that my recovery and future were up to me now, and that with Gods help, my sobriety, and the Twelve Steps, I could live a useful, fulfilling and even joyous life.
