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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Alcoholics Anonymous -> Alcoholics Anonymous -> confusion over this site????Why are we all here????
Post Info TOPIC: confusion over this site????Why are we all here????
beav1


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confusion over this site????Why are we all here????
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Hi all,

As a newbie on this site I an finding myself confused about what this site is actually for. I am amazed at the amount of posts I have read about "flushing out the druggies" and "flushing out the A**holes". Not to mention all the negative comments I have been reading.

I thought the reason AA worked was it was based on a spiritual life - a life of compassion and understanding, not judgement? Surely if people are taking the time to post something on this site, it is because they are trying to improve their life? Why the negative comments?

I know from a very long time of trying, that to make myself feel better by bringing others down does not work. At the end of the day, someone struggling with addiction is a person with a spiritual sickness- no matter what the addiction is.

I understand that this is an AA site, everyone is entitled to agree or disagree depending on their own beliefs. But would it not be better and more spiritual to support a person if you agree, and if you dont agree then just dont post. Nobody needs to hear negative, non-productive comments. And I bet all of us have been judged by others enough in our lives to last forever. Maybe those posts you disagree with are there to teach you compassion and understanding?

I reached out to this site for support, not judgement. Sometimes the support may be hearing something that I dont want to hear, but if that comment is for helping me to recover, its probably exactly what I need to hear. But I cannot afford to judge, point fingers, separate people into groups or make comments that are not helpful. That separates me from my spirituality and sends me spiraling back into sickness.

Come on guys- we are all part of the human race. Lets support each other to be better people, and leave the negativity for those who dont want to improve themselves.

Love to all out there in the big wide world. Remember its not what you think about me that changes my life- its what I think about you. Compassionate thinking improves my life.

I hope I have written this in a way that you can understand- I struggle to put my thoughts into words and I dont know if this makes sense to others. At the end of the day I am not trying to complain about anything or anybody. I just believe as an addict that compassion and understanding are things I need to practice in order to recover.

cheers



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Goofyman


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This is a very good post with a topic that needs to be discussed more. Hope I can shed some light. These are unhappy times. Here we have the chance to turn this world to near utopia but it seems that humanity on the whole is devolving to primate level. Not just alcoholics, dust bunnies, pill poppers, and Drano smokers, but the so called 'earth people' that form the bulk of the population.
Without delving into current events and the 'evils of the world', I will say that with the way things are today, it's so hard to be a grown up. Anger, snide remarks, and stubborn opinions are the meat and potatoes of these times, and sometimes, that leaks into places where they absolutely should not be.
And some people are simply trolls. They're easy to spot. They're also fun to demolish, but if you don't have the time or energy to deal with them, well, you already know, beav.
You seem a positive sort and I hope you will continue with this demeanor. A person too strong for negativity is a definite asset in recovery. Keep up the good work.


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StPeteDean


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Thanks Beav for that amazing post, you are sober beyond your time. You're are going to do well on your journey. AA is a group of folks that have a desire to quit drinking, that's the only requirement. I wish there were other requirements, like being civil, kind, compassionate, supportive, tolerant, and understanding, but we are sick people trying to get well, and the group is a cross section of any demographic, so you're going to have some pits with your bowl of cherries. Now this is a message board that's focus is on AA and recovery from the illness that is alcoholism. So in essence it is Not AA, so it's even a bit removed and I guess folks feel that they can say things here that they wouldn't in a meeting, which is good, bad, and indifferent. What folks might want to consider is that once written here, it's here for a virtual eternity unless of course the edit or delete, and of course moderators can also delete less than acceptable posts.
So lets take some direction from our newbie and pause for kind, compassionate, supportive, tolerant, understanding thoughts before typing. We're all family here, remember that my Brothers and Sisters.

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Pythonpappy


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Great post Beav, ... AND great followup posts too ...

I've been here for several years now, and I've witnessed a true level of concern and help for those seeking help with drugs and alcohol ... I have also witnessed a level of indifference, badgering, mocking, etc. that's totally uncalled for ... comments made without regard for the sensitive feelings of those hurting from this disease ... that's unfortunate, but it's found in all walks of life ... a life without love for one another ... some comments here are made without any regard for the damage they can do ... some comments are just down right mean and insensitive and the posters sometimes seem to take pleasure in being mean and hurtful ...

The good thing is that AA's way of life and the people here and in the rooms that PRACTICE steps 10, 11, and 12 and promote the 'spiritual' essence that is AA's way to a happy and fulfilling life are the 'Salt of the Earth' type people ... We learn to ignore those who have not come to know this way of life ... We learn to make our on way to that 'Heaven on Earth' existence we seek ...


Love you guys and God Bless,
Pappy



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Tanin


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As information, some actions have been taken recently that will probably reduce the animosity and caustic level of some (only a few) posters, particularly regarding alcoholics who are also NA members. Most recently, this was flagged in the following thread:

aa.activeboard.com/t63689062/damned-weddings-origins-of-alcoholism/

We now have a subforum, where it may be more appropriate to move this thread. Not to diminish its importance and validity in any way but to keep the main forum focused on the positive and spiritual aspects of recovery from alcoholism and the program of Alcoholics Anonymous.

Feel free to comment and opine on this or any other issue. If you have a question, ask away and I will reply.

Tanin



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First, deal with the things that might kill you.

 
Visionz


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Society is like a stew. If you don't stir it up every once in a while then a layer of scum floats to the top. -Abbey

 

This goes for online forums too.



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beav1


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Hi Tanin,

Sorry I am new to here so dont quite understand. You say this thread is more appropriate to a subforum than the main page. What is a subforum?

Also you say that this page is for focusing on the positive and spiritual aspects of recovery. Wasnt that the point of my post? I was trying to point out that a spiritual recovery depends on being considerate and non judgemental- does that not mean it should be on this page?

Also, what is the "sticky" part of posts, and who can do that to a post? I dont know why my post became "sticky"

Sorry, but I am now more confused than ever. I tried to promote a spiritual life and am told that this is the wrong place to do it?????Once again I ask "why are we all here?"



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JerryF


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Aloha Beav.  It looks like you found the script I was using when I first arrived at the doors of AA needing to get help and while wearing a suicide explosive belt.

I have much to learn and no one I wanted to teach me because of my fears and self centered ego and over all anger and resentments. I was born and raised with in the disease of alcoholism and drug addiction and carried a train load of defenses with me.

I never spoke using the pronoun "We" cause it didn't fit within my "screw you people" attitude and in time "they" got the message of "leave me alone" and did.  That led me to the period of "I'll show you" time which was like taking whole body surgery without anesthesia not even a drink.  I went to several meetings and was pretty much done before going in the room before the meeting.  

I had a hidden blessing I didn't know of at the time and it was my alcoholic/addict wife who had the real reasons where I didn't ...so I left again with a strange result...I lost the desire to drink and then found a craving to understand.  I was powerless and hated the feeling while knowing that I would come to understand at the knees of the elders in recovery...the men and women and the young and old.  I never had a thirst so mighty and then went back to the fellowship and also to college to learn about this "disease" that was kicking my ass, mind, body, spirit and emotions.  I chased down people of recovery with deep honest understanding and asked them for help making sure that I said "Please" first so that I didn't scare or turn them off.  My relationships preceded me and most alcoholics seemed to not care to help me.  

I didn't have a drink for 9 years before committing to AA while attending the Al-Anon Family Groups with the same steps, traditions concepts, slogans and more.  I ceased thinking "I am not alcoholic" and accepted the compulsion to drink and the allergy from it up to this very moment.  It has almost taken my life on several occasions and the lives of others I have touched.  I have not drank since 2/8/79 or there about.  I have wanted to and I have been in negotiations to pick up again several times and will not. I don't using what I have sat and learned in awe, humility and respect from the fellowship.

Yes there have been many many times I have judged our program as not for me and learned not to condemn or judge another with the same life threatening disease I have.  I speak in "WE" terms today mostly in my home group the "AA by the Bay Fellowship" in Hilo Hawaii either the Saturday and/or Sunday version.  When I do what they do I get what they get, another day of sobriety and sanity.

Stay away from confusion...let it pass other wise you might think you have had that drink.    Keep coming back smile 



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Pythonpappy


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beav1 wrote:

Hi Tanin,

Sorry I am new to here so dont quite understand. You say this thread is more appropriate to a subforum than the main page. What is a subforum?

Also you say that this page is for focusing on the positive and spiritual aspects of recovery. Wasnt that the point of my post? I was trying to point out that a spiritual recovery depends on being considerate and non judgemental- does that not mean it should be on this page?

Also, what is the "sticky" part of posts, and who can do that to a post? I dont know why my post became "sticky"

Sorry, but I am now more confused than ever. I tried to promote a spiritual life and am told that this is the wrong place to do it?????Once again I ask "why are we all here?"

 

 Hi Beav, ... One way or the other, we are all here because we have come to believe we are sick with a physical and spiritual sickness that will kill us if we choose to ignore it ... so we seek out answers to our malady by coming here to see how others found the solution to the situation we find ourselves in ... ... ... A critical part of the 'solution' IS to incorporate the spiritual essence of the recovery program ... without it, there can be no long-lasting Faith, Hope, or Love ... therefore no peace and happiness ... 

When we post our thoughts here, sometimes it can be misunderstood and confusing which is unfortunate ... One of the hardest lessons I've learned is patience and not reading things into the thoughts of others that are not there ... and see how the future thoughts and expressions can clear the fog ... I guarantee that if you stick around and contribute to these discussions, things will become crystal clear and you'll be equipped to make the best decisions for you as you tread through your journey in recovery ... 

 

Love ya and God Bless,

Pappy

 



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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Tanin


MIP Old Timer

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B1, no worries, your posts are valid and we'll done. You brought up a good topic to discuss. In my prior reply I refer to other posters who made it a practice to vent negatively about some of the things your OP brought up.

We value on this forum the freedom to express opinions and to discuss and debate important recovery-related concepts. People should be able to amicably agree or disagree with each other here. However, some individuals will go overboard from time to time. That has happened recently and some actions were taken to alleviate the situation.

The main forum is for all matters AA, recovery, spirituality, support, prayer, etc.

The Forum Business subforum is for matters involving the operation of all MIP forums, including rules, posting guidelines, and technical issues.

Your posts are fine, B1. Keep up the good work.

Tanin


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First, deal with the things that might kill you.

 
Pythonpappy


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I want to 2nd what Pickle said Beav, ... your posts ARE fine AND keep up the good work ...

Pappy



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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Db1105


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It is best just to ignore all Trolls. This post is what they seek and it only encourages them.

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TipsyMcstagger


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Go easy on the a-holes.

Sometimes they grow up.

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