I'm not really sure where to start. I have never thought of myself as having a drinking problem, but after a fight with my husband the other night I think I may need to reevaluate some things.
I don't drink every day and sometimes I go for a long period of time without having a drink, but when I do drink I always seem to drink too much and not know when to stop. This past weekend I drank way too much two days in a row because I was upset about my Father's health (he has Alzheimers). Then Sunday I pretty much slept all day. I took a personal day from work today because I am just feeling horrible about my behavior and want to get my thoughts straight.
I'm ashamed of myself and mad that I can't control how much I drink at times. I'm also worried to admit to everyone I have a problem. Like it makes me a bad person or something. Looking for advice and support
-- Edited by LaurenC on Wednesday 19th of July 2017 12:22:19 PM
Welcome to this forum, LC. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Most of us here have had the same or similar thoughts. You may hwveva drinking problem, based on what you've described above.
If you cannot predict the outcome when you begin drinking.l, that's another sign. I did not drink every day, but when I did, there was usually a bad outcome--like fighting with my spouse or not showing up for work in fit condition.
I can relate to your feelings of shame and guilt. Those were heavy burdens for most.
There are many people here who have had the same problems as you. They are now in recovery. Most of us found recovery in Alcoholics Anonymous. We found that AA meetings were a big help to our getting and staying sober.
Have you considered going to an AA meeting? Do you have any questions about recovery, AA, etc? We can help...
I had a similar problem. When I drank I could not gurantee when I would stop. I didn't drink all the time, but when I did I lost control and there were progressively worse consequences. On top of that, when I found myself wanting to stop because of the problems, I was unable to do so. One way or another a drink always appeared in my hand, followed by the loss of control. The only relief available is total abstinence. There is no cure where I could resume drinking safely after a while.
How to become abstinent is the question. Many folks can just make up their minds and stop. They had problems alright, but they had not progressed as far along the scale as I had. For me, the strongest desire to be sober was not enough. I needed some help, and I found that help through AA.
Glad you found us online but it is paramount that your recovery should be face to face with others. A lot of us use online in addition to what we have already accomplished.
Seems you are looking for some willingness. I have found that when I ask (whatever it is that runs the universe), for something like willingness, it miraculously comes to me. Those of us with time forget how clammed up we once felt where simply getting our hand up was a huge deal. Thanks for the reminder and slice of humble pie Lauren.
Thank you everyone for the advice. I have been going through the AA website and I started seeing a counselor. I called her yesterday to tell her what has been going on so I am going in to see her again tomorrow.
Right now I have no real desire to drink, I'm just mostly dealing with shame and disgust with myself. And worried about what if it happened again.
Maybe I can't be a social drinker after all and it is a good idea to completely abstain.
Hi there! As a newbie myself I can understand exactly how you feel. I did not consider myself an alcoholic as I only drunk two or three times a week. After about seven weeks now in AA, I have discovered that alcoholism has very little to do with how often you drink.
I had no problems quitting for a couple of weeks at a time, but when I went back to drinking I certainly made up for lost time!!!! one thing that makes me alcoholic is the fact that I had no control over how much I drank once I started. I would wake up in the morning in shame at having gone "overboard" again. Yet next time I drank, I would not remember the shame and hopelessness that I felt after the last time.
I could look at the third drink for the night and say to myself "why are you doing this again?" after promising myself that it would never happen again. I simply had no control after that first drink. I am the type that cannot have just one- I must quit completely.
But thats just me- your story is your own and your path cannot be decided by others. Keep an open mind and remember "knowledge is never wasted". Keep asking questions.
I am amazed at how quickly this program works for me if I put the effort in. Keep coming back!
