I have only been a member of AA for around six weeks, and I have a question regarding sponsorship that I would like to hear other members opinions on.
Firstly I would like to say that I LOVE AA, and reading the big book has been the best and most inspiring thing I have ever done. The changes in my life due to this book and my god are incredible to behold.
What I dont know, is how do I pick a sponsor, and how do I know the one I have picked is going to be best for me? The sponsor I have, will not start the steps until I have gone through thirty days of calls to him. I can understand that this is so I can get used to the meetings(daily) and have a little sobriety under my belt, but it means thirty more days of sobriety with no real tools to deal with that sobriety.
I have been listening to other speakers on tape, that say the steps should be done in eight days so you have the tools for sobriety. I can also understand this, but the cons are that you have no sobriety time before doing the steps.
Both seem to have positives and negatives. I dont know if the problem I have is that I disagree with my sponsor, or if I am just impatient to get going. How do you know what is best for you?
The sponsor I have, will not start the steps until I have gone through thirty days of calls to him.
Drop this man in an instant. This man is not doing what he is supposed to be doing and sitting on your hands that early on can get you killed. What a tragedy to read.
As far as I know, John, you are the one who decides when you are ready to take the steps. It is not something that is arbitrarily decided by someone else.
The book is very clear, "if you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to anylengths to get it, then you are ready.....
It is pretty arrogant, not to mention dangerous, for someone to stand between you and your spiritual experience. Typically the steps can be taken within thirty days, the time you are being asked to do the impossible and sit on your hands not drinking, and you can be on your way in this new way of living.
I might ask your sponsor to point out in the big book where it says to wait thirty days. Then I might say, well, seeing as the book says I need to get on with it, can we get started today. If the answer is still wait, get another sponsor. This guy obviously does not understand the first step.
John, Fyne Spirit made excellent points. Do you have an "Step Meetings" in you weekly schedule? If you decide that you need to find another sponsor, you may find one in a step meeting.
When I was a newbie, I chose two step meetings for my home groups, one on Monday to get my head straight for the week, and one on Friday to get my head straight for the weekend. I also attended meetings daily for the first 3.5 years. I was a daily drinker and replaced my drinking with meetings. It's worked so far
