Wanna just say I went to my second A.A. meeting, this one was all women, which I thought was going to be a really good thing. What a total drag. They appear to be very clique-ish, as women can be. There were three new people there, including myself, the rest appeared to be meeting twice weekly for a long time. When it came time to share, the Chairperson went around the table instead of starting with the new people. Of course, all of the old timers were sitting there in front so I guess they know if they want to speak and unburden themselves, they need to be up there in the front. Well they rattled on forever and a day and when they finally got the newbies at the end, they were running out of time and it felt really rushed towards the end.
Personally, I did not have much to say, neither did another new lady, but there was one lady who was crying an upset throughout the whole meeting and it seemed to me that if anyone needed support, it was that lady. By the time they got round to her, the meeting was almost up so she had to rush through which I thought was kinda lousy. I felt she should have spoken first, seeing as she was so upset. When she finally did get her turn, she was saying how she was suicidal, had actually attempted suicide, and all this stuff and by then of course, there was no time left for her to truly unburden herself. This did not sit well with me at all. I felt sorry for her.
Long ago, I had tried A.A. and now I remember why I quit after just a couple of meetings saying all I needed to do really was cut down. So much grandstanding, disorganization, and controlling behavior sometimes. It's too bad. Because when people really do need help to stop drinking, it is not easy to stop without support for most, and near impossible for others even with the support.
I will go back, but to the first meeting which was for both men and women and not just women. Or maybe I'll just look for a different location altogether. But, you see, that was the problem long ago when I thought I might have a drinking problem. Couldn't find a meeting where people just wanted to help each other. Where there wasn't some prima donna (male or female) running the show and being a general pain or it just being total disorganization. I went to a few and then decided it wasn't for me.
I'd like to stick it out this time.
So curious to know whether there is a protocol, a real protocol people are supposed to follow? How is it supposed to be run anyway?
Many moons ago, out of curiosity, I went to one of those 'Twisted Sister' meetings. :)
The meeting sucked... There wasn't any 'Good Orderly Direction'.
Sorry the meeting was not to your liking, NB. Sometimes that happens. Groups are independent and can run a meeting in their own manner, although most, by far, strive to allow and encourage sharing by those who have a need to do so.
Maybe try that other meeting again. The main thing is to not drink today. Stay on the path to recovery.
Most newbies drop out in the first 90 days and go back to drinking, with all the attendant difficulties.
Meetings do get like that at times. But like everything else, there are some really nice people at the meetings.
When I came into Alcoholics Anonymous, I got the book and started to read it. I found the people who were on the program and I took the suggestions to work my own program. Life has been a wonderful journey for me. And I am sure it will be like that for you too. Just persevere and ask for help from your Higher Power.
When we go to meetings out of desperation, pain, and because we burnt our life to the ground, relief is plenty and we can see the brighter side of things.
If we go to a meeting and bring the attitude of "this is all about me and my feelings", we defy the very existence of AA. This is not a self help program, never was and until you can put how you feel on the back burner you will bring the same shit attitude everywhere.
Around here in Michigan the newcomer is usually left for last to share in part so they feel welcome and have an idea how a meeting and sharing is done.
I have walked away from several meetings over the years for various reasons. Each meeting has its own personality and moods can change from meeting to meeting. I once had a clergyman say that church (is not a place full of godly people, but) a place filled with sick people trying to get better; the same is true of A.A. meetings.
Hang in there and remember we must be willing to to any lengths to get (sober). I know someone in the program whose father was rear ended and killed by a drunk driver with many convictions. Do you want to be that driver? A.A. is the "easier" softer way, just not easy (at first).
-- Edited by SoberInMI on Saturday 27th of May 2017 10:15:03 PM
-- Edited by SoberInMI on Saturday 27th of May 2017 10:17:36 PM
Great question. I've been in AA for a long time. I've had the same experience, of attending meetings that I didn't particularly like. I can only suggest doing what I did, which is to try a variety of meetings until you find the ones you like. To each his own.
__________________
"God can move mountains but it helps to bring a shovel!"
When I'm in the mood for some adventure
I go to a 'Hell's Angels' Meeting.
The atmosphere and language can be a bit rough but the FellowShip is good. :)
