I have a question related to my first (last post) about Amends. I have had a real difficult time with forgiving those who I felt had harmed me, and whom I held resentments towards. The AA Sponsor I had in Japan in 2011 when I went through the steps for the first time suggested that I pray for those people. His advice was that every morning when I wake up, pray that those people I hold resentments towards have the same things I wish for my wife and children (health, happiness, success in job, love...). He suggested I do it for two weeks. I have also heard this suggestion from other members who I listen to on the AA speaker tapes. My sponsor also suggested a kind of ritual where I take the list of the people I have resentments towards, and burn the paper, to kind of symbolize the "letting go..." Well, I hate to admit it, but as I told my sponsor back then, after praying for these people for two weeks, I am still having trouble with the letting go. Any advice would be appreciated.
This is a 'Biggie', ... ... ... resentments destroy a person from the inside ...
I do like what your sponsor asked you to do, it's the same I asked some of my sponsees to do ... But, there is one other thing that I'm go'n to suggest that was the ONE thing that helped me to accomplish this 'forgiveness' business ... the wisdom is found in a small paperback book that is not AA ... but when I read this book, loaned to me by my future sponsor, things became crystal clear for how one goes about forgiving another and freeing your very soul to be free of resentment ... the book is a fairly short read ... this book 'saved my bacon' It open a world to me that I never could have imagined ... it changed the way I think ...
The Book ??? ... ... 'The Shack' by William P. Young ... ... I've read it several times ... It's priceless ...
Please do yourself a favor ... read this book, it saved my life and very well may save yours and others ...
Love ya man and God Bless. Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Yup, The Shack is the best book I ever read about forgiveness and it was Pappy that put me onto it.
The trouble with prayers is we don't always get the answer we would like. I had this experience. OK God, I will follow this suggestion and pray for this person and after two weeks I expect the resentment to be gone, just like that, nothing for me to do other than spend a little time on my own petitioning God on behalf of this person.
God had other ideas. After the requisite two weeks the resentment was still there, as strong and as dangerous as ever. It was then that God decided to send me an inspiration. "Hey, I had a part in this too. I was in it for all the wrong reasons, totally self centred, self serving and selfish had been my contribution.
It became clear I had to make amends for my part. (When we are wrong, promptly admitted it)The amends was accepted, in a fairly off hand way. I dont think the other party had any idea about their part, but we didn't discuss that. My making amends set me free and allowed me to forgive the other person unconditionally. Their behaviour continued with consequences for them, but I was free and clear.
