I need some advice about making an amend. I did one in 2011 and it went very well. It was a financial amend, and I remember asking my informal sponsor lots of questions like, What if this person does not want to see me?" or "What if I try to leave the money with the reception in her office but she won't accept it?" My sponsor told me, "then you cannot do anymore, you've done your part." I live overseas, and in order to complete that amend, I had to return to my country of origin, Canada.
I now am back in Canada to get some medical health care and thought it might be wise to try and meet with some of the people I still hold resentments towards. I am a teacher, and the last job I had in Canada in 2001, when I left to move overseas, had an acrimonious ending for me and the 3 people who were on the interview committee that hired me, and who I worked for. So last week I went to this university and asked if I could see one of the women, the manager of the international education office. I was told she retired a few years ago. I knew her first name but not her last. I then went to the continuing studies department and asked if I could see one of the other women. She was busy but I got her email and office phone number. The third woman moved onto to a different university in the city.
So I sent an email to the woman whose email I was given and wrote that she may not remember me since it was 16 years ago (I included a few pictures of me and my two young children), and wrote that I felt bad about how things ended, that I am living in Japan, and if she has time for a coffee, if we could meet. My intention was to not lay blame on her, or the others, but to try an apologize. I did not get a response to my email. I asked a few veterans at an AA meeting what I should do. Should I call? Go in person to try and meet her? Write a hand-written letter of apology? Their answers were mixed, but they said if this has been on my mind for so long, which it has, then I should try to do something about it. I met with a substance abuse counselor last week for my 1st session of talk therapy and asked for her advice. She said that I have done enough, that it was kind of rude on the part of that woman for not even replying with a simple and brief message like, "I am sorry, but I don't remember who you are...?"
Any advice would be appreciated. I am here in Vancouver, Canada until the middle of May, and the I return to Japan.
Making Amends was one of the larger pills for me to swallow ... I had some difficult times getting to some of the more difficult individuals during the process ... my sponsor said I had to try harder ... that this was too important to brush aside by simply saying 'I tried' ... unless the person, or persons, are out of the country and near impossible to meet with, in which case if you've exhausted your chances for a 'face-to-face' meeting, then make an email, or send a letter, or text your sincere apology and consider it done ... that's what I'm think'n ...
Good luck with this step ...
Love ya and God Bless, Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
