I was asked why I thought I was an alcoholic. My answer is that it has a better ring to it than alcohol abuser and there is no abusers anonymous group that I know of. My therapist says I am not an alcoholic based on my behavior with alcohol. I don't HAVE to have it. I just choose to. Now granted some of the chosen times are less than ideal but no arrests or lost jobs (yet some of you will say). My health is good. So why is it again that I am an alcoholic? Is it because I drink every weekend and sometimes on weekdays? Is it a quantity thing? I don't pass out or wreck cars or black out. I have been known to say some embarrassing things when buzzed. Is there an alcoholic light version? I'm sorry if I'm rambling but I don't have anyone else I can talk to about this that is not getting paid. Can someone have alcoholic tendencies but not be one?
I'm with you. Totally get where you're coming from I don't NEED it, I just like it. Mainly cuz I'm bored and/or alone, which I know doesn't make it right. Wish there was a "patch" to deter from drinking like there is for not smoking :)
It comes down to two things, neither of which are consequences of drinking. Control and choice. If you have control of the amount you take - always-, and if you can choose when, where, how much, and if you drink, - everytime, I doubt you have a problem in respect of alcoholism. However if you are drinking excessively by choice, you have a health problem on the way. Alcohol comes in bottles, alcoholism comes in people.
I am still confused so I think I will download the AA big book that everyone references and see what it has to say. I can't say I don't overdo it on the wine once in awhile but I don't find myself craving wine or drinking in the am or during work or any other inappropriate time. But I have had instances in the past where I felt alcohol was becoming a problem. I just didn't know if AA was right for me. I will keep reading and posting and hopefully figure things out.
I gave that to you coz it was there. I find it a bit wanky myself, but that's not to say it's wrong, just my foot didn't fit the shoe
Mine was pouring a glass and seeing if you could walk away from it. I couldn't. I poured one... then looked at it... then drank it. 30 seconds I reckon. But we all are different. Same problem, different styles.
Hey MJ, ... If drinking ever causes any part of your life to be 'unmanageable', you're an alcoholic ... starts with expectations and obligations being unmet ...
Love Ya and God Bless, Pappy
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Is AA for You? Here is a link with 12 questions that may provide you an answer. It's from AA's website.
http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/is-aa-for-you-twelve-questions-only-you-can-answer
Give it a try. The website can also help you find meetings in your area if you do have a problem and want to seek help.
Here is an experiment suggested in the big book for those having trouble deciding. I tried it the last time I drank. Plan was to have a couple of beers and be home by six. Made it home by six alright, just four days later. That established I have the phenomenon of craving the big book Doctor's Opinion talks about. it is always dangerous for an alcoholic to drink. The consequences are unpredictable. But for me, it put the cork in the bottle for good.
"We do not like to pronounce any individual as alcoholic, but you can quickly diagnose yourself. Step over to the nearest barroom and try some controlled drinking. Try to drink and stop abruptly. Try it more than once. It will not take long for you to decide, if you are honest with yourself about it. It may be worth a bad case of jitters if you get a full knowledge of your condition."
Here is an experiment suggested in the big book for those having trouble deciding. I tried it the last time I drank. Plan was to have a couple of beers and be home by six. Made it home by six alright, just four days later. That established I have the phenomenon of craving the big book Doctor's Opinion talks about. it is always dangerous for an alcoholic to drink. The consequences are unpredictable. But for me, it put the cork in the bottle for good.
"We do not like to pronounce any individual as alcoholic, but you can quickly diagnose yourself. Step over to the nearest barroom and try some controlled drinking. Try to drink and stop abruptly. Try it more than once. It will not take long for you to decide, if you are honest with yourself about it. It may be worth a bad case of jitters if you get a full knowledge of your condition."
this is very fringe in my opinion. Bill and Bob had good intentions but suggesting to go out and possibly die i was doing enough of that on my own. I damn sure didnt need a hand in jumping off that cliff. This is not exactly a dusty tavern tumbleweed kind of world anymore.
I don't think Bill 'n Bob were doing anything more than trying to make the point that 'if you're not convinced you're an alcoholic', then here's one test to drive home the truth of your situation which is necessary to remove all doubts ... ... ... What's the difference????? ... you're go'n to drink anyway until you decide differently ... this just might speed up the process ...
Pappy
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
After some careful soul searching I think that if I took the time to find this site and create a user name then there is a problem. I'm just struggling with the idea of never drinking again. I like my wine. I like the social aspect of having drinks. I think I just need to be more aware of the consequences of drinking too much. They have not happened to me YET. That is the message I am hearing loud and clear. It has been 2 months since my last incident where I drank too much and was stupid. Before that it was Halloween. I don't think my life is unmanageable. I just don't like it when I lose control by drinking. Or lose control in general. I see a great therapist who is helping me work through all of this. She is the one who suggested I pose my question s to this website I found when searching AA chat rooms. I just read over my post and something jumped out at me. It's not just drinking that can make me feel like I'm not in control. The lack of control gets me drunk. I drink too many and get stupid. I can stop at one. Most times I do. Just once in awhile I go overboard. I stopped drinking for a month and it was no big deal. Said I wanted to lose weight. But really just wanted to test myself. It was no big deal. Lost weight too. BUT it didn't make me want to quit drinking forever.
I forgot to add that I went through a dark spell last year where I was drinking almost every day. And then one day I stopped. I guess I'm scared to visit that place again. Am I doomed to repeat past mistakes? I took the AA quiz and it didn't give me any answers. Four yes answers means I might have a problem. Not quite the answer I was looking for. I'm sorry for rambling multiple posts but this is like journaling to me with the exception that I can get input from some really wise people judging from other threads I have read.
Alcoholism is a progressive disease ... You may not be at the point most of us here got to, but you're right, it bares careful monitoring ... to me, I see no problem with a person having a couple drinks a day .... any more than that is a BIG red flag ...
Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
I know people who drink daily, one or two with dinner, and i know some who stop at the bar i used to hand out and have 2 beers and go home. I could not do it, i used to stop and have 2 while waiting for pizza, then 2 became 3 and then 4 and then pizza came home after 8,9,10 sometimes pizza never came home.Like Pappy said this disease is progressive and if you are wondering if you are , chañces are you probably are, but only you can decide. If you can have 2 drinks and stop and stop without aggravation and with peace, then i believe you are not. The funny thing about alcoholism is that you can be an alcoholic , without even touching alcohol, it's genetic . I have always wondered if i never touched alcohol, how my life would have been different. I was off to the races after my first drink, i thought my life was in control, i did not drink during weekdays much at all in the beginning, but i was irritable, and miserable because basically i was going through withdrawals every week. So you don't have to be a daily drinker to be alcoholic, and you don't have to lose jobs or get oui's , these will surely come if you are Alcoholic, there are many functioning Alcoholics who live normal lives on the outside but inside they are living a lie, a friend once told me if you have to control it , it is out of control.
I'm just struggling with the idea of never drinking again.
This is a big thing with a LOT of people new in recovery. For me, in the beginning, I could not even conceptualize living life without alcohol. It did not make sense.
But they told me that I could stay sober a day at a time and things would get better.
And they did slowly get better.
My life today is alcohol-free.
I have no desire to have a couple while waiting for a pizza.
Here is an experiment suggested in the big book for those having trouble deciding. I tried it the last time I drank. Plan was to have a couple of beers and be home by six. Made it home by six alright, just four days later. That established I have the phenomenon of craving the big book Doctor's Opinion talks about. it is always dangerous for an alcoholic to drink. The consequences are unpredictable. But for me, it put the cork in the bottle for good.
"We do not like to pronounce any individual as alcoholic, but you can quickly diagnose yourself. Step over to the nearest barroom and try some controlled drinking. Try to drink and stop abruptly. Try it more than once. It will not take long for you to decide, if you are honest with yourself about it. It may be worth a bad case of jitters if you get a full knowledge of your condition."
this is very fringe in my opinion. Bill and Bob had good intentions but suggesting to go out and possibly die i was doing enough of that on my own. I damn sure didnt need a hand in jumping off that cliff. This is not exactly a dusty tavern tumbleweed kind of world anymore.
Actually it is quite mainstream. The very first thing our government funded counselling centres will offer is a controlled drinking plan, under the category of harm minimisation. I tried it, failed on the second day. I tried it a few more times. Didn't know anything of AA at the time. It was a great persuader, I had step one nailed by the time I got to AA. No delusions left.
The alternative, if ther is an uncertainty is either a precarious sobriety, or finding some way to talk ourselves into being alcoholic. A written first step is sometimes used to persuade. And of course there is always the chorus in the background "no one comes to AA by accident" etc. But I think this is a poor substitute for being absolutely convinced from hard experience that I am alcoholic. That absolute hopelessness is where I got the motivation to go to any lenghts. The slightest reservation undermines that.
I'm just struggling with the idea of never drinking again.
This is a big thing with a LOT of people new in recovery. For me, in the beginning, I could not even conceptualize living life without alcohol. It did not make sense.
But they told me that I could stay sober a day at a time and things would get better.
And they did slowly get better.
My life today is alcohol-free.
I have no desire to have a couple while waiting for a pizza.
This is exactly as I experienced it ... the thought of never drink'n again was something I could not conceive of, in the beginning ... BUT, the result of go'n one day at a time???? ... my result was exactly as described by Pickle ...
Pappy
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
I had an eye opener conversation today with my middle schooler. She said her classmates are drinking and drugging on a regular basis. WTF. I don't remember hearing about any of that stuff until high school. Just another reason to limit my own consumption. I don't think I'm an active alcoholic but I have the tendencies based on the stories I have read. I had three beers last night watching basketball and then stopped as I don't want to set the wrong example. I am going to monitor the frequency of my drinking and make the effort to not drink every day. I think I can do it.
Tanin your pizza reference is in response to my post to mommy juice, i was referring to what happened to me when i was in denial of my alcoholism, i would stop to have 2 but it always was more, at the time i never thought there was anything wrong with my behaviour, but i was lying to myself, and i was directing an opinion I have no desire to stop and have 2 while waiting for pizza because i can not stop after 2. mommyjuice , if you can stop and have 2 and go home in peace then maybe you are not an alcoholic. I could never do that , i knew nothing of AA at the time , but i am aware now that if you can not stop after 2 , and do it with peace , that is a litmus test in my opinion for this disease.It is rather strange to me that alcohol,which is a drug can be viewed as something society engages in socially , whereas it's original purpose was as a pain killer , and now we have this epidemic of people addicted to opiates, because they take narcotics when they have no pain, but it is socially acceptable to drink when you have no pain. Both are drugs , both are evil , but some people can drink alcohol without destroying their lives, and others like myself can not.
I love pizza, but the doctor has it off my diet for now, i can live without it , one day at a time , just like AA. I was the biggest pizza conorsoir around , could talk endless about different pizza places. Everyone has their favorites. I once drove 35 miles to get one at my favourite place. Everybody thought i was nuts. Thats why my doctor has me on diet , cholesterol like the GNP, i flunked stress test . I'm eating like a vegetarian now, expensive , but not that bad, I'm walking the dog four to 6 miles. It all goes hand and hand with staying sober. I miss pizza, but i don't miss drinking,lol