hello. My name is Mike. I've been sober for 2 days after decades of drinking. I'm 42 now. I started when I was 12. Drank on the weekends with friends and this continued till I was about thirty and then things changed. For the past 12 years I went from a beer or two a night. Then to a six pack a night. Then for the past 8 years I gradually elevated to a twelve pack a night, to an 18 pack and to where I was just two days ago....a case of beer a day. i simply couldn't stop. My biggest fear is that drinking about 20 beers a day or more on average for 5-6 years and a twelve pack a day for a few years before that has put me in a position where I've done irreparable harm. I fear cirrhosis. I fear death......even if I do stop. While I haven't been diagnosed with that, I am afraid to even see a doctor because I fear that news is coming. I'm scared and hopeless. I feel like nobody drank as much as I did and I'm all alone. I need support in the worst way. Some hope. Please help.
Is sobriety all that we are to expect of a spiritual awakening?
No, sobriety is only a bare beginning; it is only the first gift of the first awakening.
If more gifts are to be received, our awakening has to go on.
As it does go on, we find that bit by bit we can discard the old life--the one that did not work--for a new life that can and does work under any conditions what-so-ever.
Regardless of worldly success or failure, regardless of pain or joy, regardless of sickness or health or even of death itself, a new life of endless possibilities can be lived if we are willing to continue our awakening, through the practice of A.A.'s Twelve Steps.
"I feel like nobody drank as much as I did and I'm all alone."
Hey Mike,
I used to drink four bottles of wine a day. And I did it on a daily basis for years - had to or I'd go into withdrawal. I've been to inpatient treatment numerous times, and today I'm studying to become a recovery coach. Something I wish I'd had back in the day.
Two days isn't very long. If you've stayed sober since your post, you should have about 2 1/2 weeks now. Fear is appropriate. Facing it is empowering. You can do it. Asking for help is the best thing you can do - people want to help.
January 27 2017 is my sober date.. I drank for 20+ years.. My story is your story.. I ended my drinking by drinking a 30 pack a day and starting the day at 5am with a 6 pac.. I hear ya... Dont fear change dont fear doctors.
F.E.A.R. F. false E. emotions A. appearing R. real.....!!! Just ask for help its out there,, Find a AA metting go and talk.. or keep talking here.. You can do it...!!!
This guy has a lot in common with me. Same story same age. I'm trying to quit so I don't die (was diagnosed with a very high liver count). Looks like he posted and bailed though.
Mike. It's never too late until they nail the coffin lid down.
I started my journey in sobriety when I was 50 after a 36 year drinking career that ended up with me losing wife, son, daughter, home, respect of others and my self respect.
I'll be 61 this year. I'm divorced and estranged still from my son and daughter.
6 years ago I was divorced. 5 years ago I moved from England to Scotland (ok that not even as far as going from southern texts to northern texts but ya know, Britain is small) anyway I moved with a pocket full of nuthin and a lot of debt.
4 years ago I was ending a short lived but intense and very codependent relationship and bought a house
3 years ago I was paid off from work. 30 months ago I met a canny lass. 18 months ago she moved in. A year ago I paid off all my debts including the mortgage. I get married in 10 weeks.
126 months ago I thought it was too late. It wasn't. It was the right time.
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It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you got. BB
hello. My name is Mike. I've been sober for 2 days after decades of drinking. I'm 42 now. I started when I was 12. Drank on the weekends with friends and this continued till I was about thirty and then things changed. For the past 12 years I went from a beer or two a night. Then to a six pack a night. Then for the past 8 years I gradually elevated to a twelve pack a night, to an 18 pack and to where I was just two days ago....a case of beer a day. i simply couldn't stop. My biggest fear is that drinking about 20 beers a day or more on average for 5-6 years and a twelve pack a day for a few years before that has put me in a position where I've done irreparable harm. I fear cirrhosis. I fear death......even if I do stop. While I haven't been diagnosed with that, I am afraid to even see a doctor because I fear that news is coming. I'm scared and hopeless. I feel like nobody drank as much as I did and I'm all alone. I need support in the worst way. Some hope. Please help.
AAs know that nobody is unique and thinking so could be fatal.
Also, from the book Living Sober: Remember your last drunk (or what it was like before your last drink), otherwise you are doomed to repeat it (and worse)!
as another newbie all I can say is that it is never too late. Make sure you go to a medical professional and talk though- large quantity for a long time may require some medical intervention for the side effects of stopping( which can be very dangerous)
