I know what that is like. Continual and unrelentless beating yourself up for doing things which you know you shouldn't do....drinking, drugging, sexing, speeding, (well... I don't know all those things however, can relate to a few).
LOVE YOURSELF! GOD LOVES YOU! Fix what you can...get help for what you can't. First and foremost love yourself. Remember this always....God loves you no matter who and what you are! Don't let anyone derail you and make you think that you are not "good enough". WTH is that anyway? You are you....special....a wonderful one-of-a-kind creation. Please don't be like I have been most of my 50 plus years and listen to anyone who tells you that you are anything other than wonderful and special!!! You're an addict????? You are still GREAT and WONDERFUL!!!!
No one, absolutely no one other than God Himself has the right to tell you that you are not special....unique...a truly wonderful individual with attributes and characteristics to offer this world and to others. If they try--DENY----DON'T LISTEN TO THEM--DISMISS THEM! Don't let them steal your joy! Laugh and say "Oh well, good day!" as you walk away.
Keep on plugging at it, trying...step-by-step...little-by-little..know where you are going and get to where that is.
