If you are struggling to make a decision, do the right thing.
Before recovery all my decisions were easy because they were all based on self. I choose the job that paid me the most with the least amount of effort it didnt matter that it was illegal. I choose relationships where I could get all my selfish needs met, regardless of the other persons feelings or wants. I choose to spend my money on whatever my ego wanted, without a thought to savings or prudence or retirement. All those decisions based on self-centeredness didnt get me what I thought I wanted; instead, they resulted in me hitting a bottom and driving me into the program.
When I started working the Steps I began looking at my character defects and examining the causes and conditions that led to the wreckage of my life. I learned that self-seeking and self-centeredness was the natural state of an alcoholic, and that I would go on making poor choices and decisions unless I was willing to humble myself and surrender. It was hard to turn a whole life of selfishness around, and rebellion did indeed dog my every step, but with the constant support of my sponsor, the Steps and a God of my understanding, I slowly changed.
Today when I have a decision to make, I still think about myself but I also think about how my actions will impact others. Today I have the awareness and the willingness to consult others and think through the consequences of my actions before I take them. Today Im aware for the first time that I have a choice between my old thinking and selfish choices and the right way to handle things. And today when Im struggling to make a decision, I think about what the right thing to do is, and with Gods help I do it.
And this allows me to live happy, joyous and free.
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Copyright @ 2016 Michael Z
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
