Need a little advice for a first time poster

h2oeng71 · Newbie

Need a little advice for a first time poster

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Welcome to MIP H2O, ...

You have a real challenge before you ... I'm go'n out on a limb here and will say 'Noth'n' will get any better as long as you continue to drink, period ... even iffin it's off 'n on ... I think you must get your priorities straight first of all, and by that, I mean getting and staying sober has to be the first priority, period ... NO MATTER WHAT IT TAKES ... and the way you travel ain't go'n to make things any easier ... ... ... I suggest a sponsor at home ... cause I'm impressed you still have a good job ... but I fear you may be close to losing the job, so a sponsor at home makes sense to me ...

Please do your best to get to as many meet'ns as you can EVER FRICK'N DAY ... I know a guy who did over 700 meet'ns in 700 days ... it was the only way he could get sober ... and that was ME ... ... ...

It's your life, please don't throw it away ... you can do this ... your other problems pale compared to have'n a drink'n problem ... when you actually and honestly work the 12 steps, your life WILL get better ... but it will take patience and determination on your part ...

Wish you the best and God Bless,
Pappy

davep12and12 · MIP Old Timer

If you want to get sober and stay sober, I can only recommend regular attendance and direct involvement with Alcoholics Anonymous. This includes going to meetings, getting to know other sober people and building a network of sober people, and getting a good sponsor who has worked the 12 steps and can show you how to do the same. And yes, you can change sponsors later if your travel schedule changes. Not a problem.

In your case because of your traveling, this means going to meetings wherever you are. I used to travel for work too and I've been to meetings all over the world. For me, going to meetings in new places became one of the best things about traveling.

Doesn't matter if your wife 'supports' you or 'believes' you or whatever. Your sobriety is entirely up to you, she can't make you drink and she can't make you get sober.

If you have alcoholism like I do, and like all the people I've ever met in AA, the most important thing you need to do is get sober and stay sober, and that means taking advantage of the real help that is available in AA. Job or no job, wife or no wife. Sobriety must be the priority. Everything else can get worked out for the best, however that turns out to be, IF we stay sober and work a program of recovery in AA as outlined in the 12 steps.

BB Pattie · Member

Welcome H2
My Name is Pattie and I'm an Alcoholic,

If you are an alcoholic like I am an alcoholic, put down the drink and get your ass to a meeting. Anywhere you are, Sponsors, temporary sponsors...whatever it takes. Get a Big Book and start reading...read it before, read it again.

"We alcoholics are men and women who have lost the ability to control our drinking. We know that no real alcoholic ever recovers control. All of us felt at times that we were regaining control, but such intervals - usually brief - were inevitably followed by still less control, which led in time to pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization. We are convinced to a man that alcoholics of our type are in the grip of a progressive illness. Over any considerable period we get worse, never better."

Pappy said it straight when he talked about priorities...first and foremost it will have to be your Sobriety. As for all of the other issues they will work themselves out one way or the other. I'm sorry to hear of your health issues as well as the rest of your circumstances. But things will get better if you have the desire to stop drinking.

Many of us have lied and cheated throughout our lives...so just saying that we are going to change generally falls on deaf ears, we have to be willing to go to any length and show our loved ones by our actions that we are actually turning our lives around. It took many years before I could even trust myself.

Wherever you travel...look for a meeting go to as many meetings as possible, get phone numbers from men in the program, carry your Big Book with you and other recovery literature. Reaching out online is also a wonderful recovery tool...stick close to the program and hang on to your seat because life is quite the journey in sobriety!

I LOVE what Dave said...

-- Edited by BB Pattie on Wednesday 31st of August 2016 07:39:09 PM

Baba Louie · Senior Member

The doctors have a really good cure rate for Prostate Cancer, like 90% if caught early enough.

they (doctors) don't have such a great success record curing alcoholism.

Better try AA.

quitting that poison is the best thing I've ever done. YouR other problems will be a lot easier to deal with if you get off the sauce. Alcohol won't fix any of them.

I too, travel a lot. And it's easier without alcohol. Everything is.

stick around here with us.

Visionz · Senior Member

h2oeng71, how do you feel when you are sober?

Tanin · MIP Old Timer

Hiya h2. I hope you get some relief from your various problems. You have a lot going on.

You may be able to solve part of your problems by going to online AA meetings. You can go to:

http://aaonline.net

and you'll find many meetings, 4 or 5 a day.

Maybe you could also try to get an online AA sponsor...

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

I forgot to mention ... Prostate cancer, if treated properly, is curable ... mine was 90% cancerous and since treatment, i've been cancer free for a year now ... it's not a very pleasant journey, but it worked for me ...

Pappy

h2oeng71 · Newbie

I'm in Wilmington, NC more often than not, Chattanooga a couple of time a month then at the house on the weekends (that may be changing though, wife doesn't want me at the house right now). I was hoping to get involved with a group at my wife's church but they meet on Sunday evening. I typically fly out Sunday afternoon. Anyway, it's time for me to get off the roller coaster; I've got to quite. I found a couple of meetings this evening in town. Ones actually an open meeting for beginners, figure I'll hit that one. I'm actually home this Sunday so I'll hit the one at my wife's church as well. Got a feeling the next week or so is going to be rough. So much for getting any sleep. Today is day 1, let the fun begin!

Tanin · MIP Old Timer

Gl@d you found a meeting, h2. Let us know how it turns out.

You're on the road to recovery!

davep12and12 · MIP Old Timer

Congrats on the decision to start going to meetings! Here's what helped for me:

Get there a few minutes early. Talk to a couple of folks before the meeting and tell them you are new. They can set you up with some literature and - very important - a complete meeting schedule for your area. Ask them for suggestions about other meetings on other nights of the week, and make plans to go to as many meetings as you can, like a meeting a day, especially at first. Before you leave that first meeting, have a plan in place for the NEXT meeting. Know when and where it is.

After the meeting, resist the temptation to bolt out the door. Stick around for a few minutes and talk to a couple of people. If you liked what someone said during the meeting, tell them that, and let them know you are new and looking for help. If you have any questions about AA, or what a sponsor is or how to get one, or about anything you heard during the meeting, ask them. They will be happy to help. Other people helped them when they were new, and they are glad to do the same for you. That's how it works.

Some meetings have some sort of informal get-together after the meeting, like groups of people getting together to go grab a bite to eat afterward. If your meeting does something like this, go with them. It's a great way to get to know these folks and get a lot more info about all of this stuff in an informal conversational setting.

Get some phone numbers of other members and start building your network of sober AA contacts. If you are between meetings and you feel like you might drink, you need to have some folks you can call and talk to. Help is available, so make use of it. Do not try to do this on your own.

If you have any questions about any of this stuff, of course feel free to ask about it here as well. We're glad to help.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Hey h2, ... I noticed your from Atlanta, Ga. area ... I got sober in Peachtree City, just south of Atlanta ... I know many of the AA groups on the South side ... if you're near Peachtree City there are 2 exceptional groups there if you're interested ... the 'New Start' group and 'We Can Help' group along with some other great groups ... this gives us plenty of meet'ns though the day, 7 days a week ...

Fayetteville to the North and Newnan to the South also have many great groups as well, also creating many options to attend a meet'n any day of the week ...

Let me know if I can help you find something specific to your location ...

About your home situation, I nearly had a marriage casualty before getting sober myself ... my wife had consulted a divorce attorney and took me to a rehab center ... as drunks, we become professional liars, so I am keenly aware of the distrust our spouses develop over time ... as good as I got at hiding my 'stash' (for sneaking a drink when I could), my wife got equally good at find them ... I had stooped to the lowest possible excuse for a husband that one could become ... no wonder my wife wanted 'OUT' ...

You sound like a smart guy ... so you know there's a choice to be made, and only you can make it ... get help, or risk everything you've ever worked for or valued up til now ... many of us lose absolutely everything, even our lives ... so many don't make it ... so, you decide ... if we can help?, you have but to ask ...

Pappy

h2oeng71 · Newbie

I'm on the north side of town, East Cobb. I'm going to look around this morning for a meeting later today around here. Figure I'll hit my wife's church for their meeting tomorrow. I'll be back in Wilmington Monday afternoon for the week so I'll hit a few there as well. In term of the house situation, my wife has pretty much given up. Her attitude is "it's your problem, not mine". To be honest, I don't think she gives a shit if I drink or not anymore. What little time I'm home she's typically upstairs and I'm downstairs. Needless to say, there won't be much if any support at the house.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Hey H2, ... you must decide what your next step is and it should be what's best in getting and keep'n you sober, ... without sobriety, we are 'gonners' ...

While my son was in the hospital in Middle/North Atlanta, I went to the 'Triangle Club' nearby (for about 4 months) ... It's a pretty big group with a large variety of members ... all walks of life ... good group ... many different meet'n times ... Here's a web site to check out others:

http://www.aageorgia.org/district-13.html

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Oh, also, John F., this board's owner lives in Willmington ... please PM (Private Message him to get the locations nearest where you'll be work'n) ... he'll be glad to help ...