When I was 90 days sober, I saw a guy take a seven year anniversary cake. He talked about how grateful he was, about his sponsor and sponsees, and how he still went to at least five meetings every week. I was appalled! Seven years sober and he still went to that many meetings?! In fact, still went to meetings at all? If he could go seven years without a drink, wasnt he better by now?
After the meeting I asked my sponsor how long I would have to go to meetings, and he said Id have to keep going until I actually wanted to go to meetings. This made no sense to me at the time because going to meetings didnt seem to be an option, but rather an obligation. I knew that if I didnt go, then Id soon be drinking and using again. I also harbored the idea that one day I would graduate. Id learn how to control the urge to drink and would be normal again. I soon learned differently.
The longer I went to meetings, the more I discovered that those people taking cakes for longer term sobriety were the same ones who consistently went to meetings. The other people who I say occasionally and then stopped seeing eventually went out. And thats when I made the connection: meetings makers make it. I realized that in order to retain the sense of ease and comfort Id found, I needed to keep receiving the message of experience, strength, and hope I heard in meetings.
Today, gratefully, I want to keep attending meetings, and now as an old-timer I realize that by consistently making meetings, Ive been able to keep making it.
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Copyright @ 2016 Michael Z
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Really dislike this quote hehe, but I get the message. i am a little over 60 days clean and sober, and I do have a question. I am a pretty apathetic dude, I often find any requirement, whether beneficial or not, to be too much of a chore to complete. Currently meetings have been good, and I am going for my 90 in 90. My question is throughout my life history I've never been consistent with anything except anxiety, depression, and apathy, and oh yea habitual chemical dependence. I am aware the program promises to restore me to sanity, but I am just curious will I really shed the apathetic world view and behavior?
It just concerns the hell out of me, I mean seriously, getting up to do anything at all is a struggle even when it's a certain necessity for survival. I've had enough pain in my life, and I will do anything to remedy this malady. I do all that is required of me, I've got a sponsor, I'm working the steps, a meeting everyday sometimes twice, I mean I am even cleaning my apartment. I suppose I need to pick up on prayer as well, but that's always been a qualm with me. Anyway, at this point I've already asked my question, and all I am managing to do is explaining that I am worthy, which is some character defect of mine, which means I should pray for my fear of acceptance to be removed.
Really dislike this quote hehe, but I get the message. i am a little over 60 days clean and sober, and I do have a question. I am a pretty apathetic dude, I often find any requirement, whether beneficial or not, to be too much of a chore to complete. Currently meetings have been good, and I am going for my 90 in 90. My question is throughout my life history I've never been consistent with anything except anxiety, depression, and apathy, and oh yea habitual chemical dependence. I am aware the program promises to restore me to sanity, but I am just curious will I really shed the apathetic world view and behavior?
It just concerns the hell out of me, I mean seriously, getting up to do anything at all is a struggle even when it's a certain necessity for survival. I've had enough pain in my life, and I will do anything to remedy this malady. I do all that is required of me, I've got a sponsor, I'm working the steps, a meeting everyday sometimes twice, I mean I am even cleaning my apartment. I suppose I need to pick up on prayer as well, but that's always been a qualm with me. Anyway, at this point I've already asked my question, and all I am managing to do is explaining that I am worthy, which is some character defect of mine, which means I should pray for my fear of acceptance to be removed.
Hey misterhyde, Welcome to MIP ... and congrats on 60+ days (no small feat) ... as for your question, my experience is that I saw very little change in myself until I stuck with AA for as long as it took to have a real 'spiritual awakening' ... when that occurred, my resistance to change evaporated ... I became open to it ... I found that my 'negative' views went away and were replaced by 'positive' ones ... I stopped pitying myself and started being grateful for once ... the desire to drink was removed ...
You may ask 'how long did that take???' ... Well, it's different for everyone, but for me, I didn't do the 90 'n 90 ... ... ... I did 700 in 700 ... almost 2 years of daily meet'ns ... I was 'sicker than most' ... I did NOT want to return to the pain and despair that alcohol caused in my life ... alcohol very nearly took my life and I never want to go through that again (yes, I've lost a number of friends to alcohol ... their deaths affected me greatly ... )(some here on this board too, whom I really miss even today ...) ...
You say you've had enough pain??? ... well, you're in the right place ... we support each other here, we're here to help ... if you are being honest when you say: I will do anything to remedy this malady ... then, as the AA BB sez, you are ready to take certain steps ... JUST 'do it' ... and I may also say, only doing what's required may not be enough ... as in my case, I decided I had to go way beyond what they told me to do ... and for me???? It worked ...
Love ya man and God Bless,
Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
If I had the privilege of not having to work for a paycheck - or being present for my very young children - I believe I would be the type to go to many more meetings than I do. And not because I need them, but because I have a lot to give back to newcomers.
Thank the heavenly father that Bill Wilson recognized my type on page 19 of the big book. It says:
None of us makes a sole vocation of this work, nor do we think its effectiveness would be increased if we did. We feel that elimination of our drinking is but a beginning. A much more important demonstration of our principles lies before us in our respective homes, occupations and affairs. All of us spend much of our spare time in the sort of effort which we are going to describe. A few are fortunate enough to be so situated that they can give nearly all their time to the work.
God will let you know when to put the brakes on meetings thru your partner or notes from your children saying they miss you.
-- Edited by Visionz on Saturday 20th of August 2016 09:30:00 AM
