I watched a man I know help his wife take care of their babies.
How did you learn to be such a good dad? I asked. He explained that his father had been a great dad. His mother had died when he was three, leaving his father on his own to care for him and his baby sister.
So he just stepped up to the plate? I asked.
Like Babe Ruth, he said.
Inventory Focus:
What or who is challenging you? Are you creating healthy challenges or unnecessary chaos? Do you want it just because you cant have it, or do you really want it? Are you stepping up to the plate and accepting the real challenges in your life?
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
What wonderful things could happen in my life if I could get rid of my natural impulse to justify my actions? Is honesty so deeply repressed under layers of guilt that I can't release it to understand my motives? Being honest with ourselves isn't easy. It's difficult to search out why I had this or that impulse and, more importantly, why I acted upon it. Nothing makes us feel so vulnerable as to give up the crutch of the alibi, yet my willingness to be vulnerable will go a long way toward helping me grow in the Program. Am I becoming more aware that self-deception multiplies my problems?
Today I Pray
May God remove my urge to make excuses. Help me to face up to the realities that surface when I am honest with myself. Help me to know, as certainly as day follows sunrise, that my difficulties will be lessened if I can only trust God's will.
Today I Will Remember
I will be willing to do God's will.
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
We are not unlike a particularly hardy crustacean. ... With each passage from one stage of human growth to the next, we, too, must shed a protective structure. --Gail Sheehy
Our passage into a new stage of development was initiated by our desire to stop using chemicals. The values we lived by while using chemicals no longer fit us. We need to shed our old skin and grow a new one that reflects our current worldview.
We are now, and always will be, in the stage of becoming, of trying to fulfill our changing dreams and aspirations. What we can accomplish at one stage of life is different from what we can handle at another. And yet an overall design is being shaped by all our endeavors. The more willing we are to shed yet another skin, the more centered, stable, and spirit filled we'll become.
Do my actions fit my values? As I outgrow my values, I will release them. I will relish my growth today and celebrate my new skin.
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
We believe in Human Ecology, the understanding and care of human beings as whole persons in light of their relationship to God, themselves, their families, and the society in which they live. --The Philosophy of Human Ecology
The philosophy of Human Ecology covers all three aspects of our recovery: body, mind, and spirit.
We know that taking care of our bodies is essential to recovery. That means eating properly, exercising as much as we can, and not abusing ourselves physically.
Taking care of our minds is also important. We are trying to make choices that enhance our recovery, not diminish it. This includes the things we read, watch, and listen to. We seek out education and positive affirmation. We go to meetings. We gather with others who share our vision.
Spirituality is the common thread through all of this, for without it we are lost. Our spiritual search is our effort to improve our conscious contact with God. Through this search comes harmony of body, mind, and spirit.
Today let me remember the principles of Human Ecology. They provide a simple reminder of where I've been and where I am going.
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Our prayer is, "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." We say this prayer at least once a day because, although we must accept the things we cannot change today, they may, in fact, change tomorrow.
This seems to be a paradox, yet once we truly and completely accept something, it begins to change. While the objective fact remains unchanged, our attitude toward it and our relationship to it have changed. It is with our attitudes toward people and things that we must learn to live.
Am I changing my attitudes?
Higher Power, help me live fully today, neither forward nor backward, but here and now.
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
As life is action and passion, it is required of man that he should share the action and passion of his time at peril of being judged not to have lived. --Oliver Wendell Holmes
America's greatest killer is. . . What? Car wreaks? Heart attacks? Cancer? Alcoholism? How about suffocation by a sense of inferiority? Many of us adult children have tragic personal insight into the number of alcoholic deaths that are attributed to pneumonia, congestive heart failure, or anything but alcoholism. But feelings of inferiority are just as lethal as any of these. Although they may not appear so, people who feel a deep sense of inferiority are not fully alive.
But there is ample evidence that people do love us, that we are missed when we are not around. For all the doom and gloom that may be familiar to us, aren't we surrounded also by beauty? Doesn't the sun rise each day? And don't we have it within our power to make of this day whatever we choose?
Today, I remind myself I have something to contribute.
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
The circumstances of our lives seldom live up to our expectations or desires. However, in each circumstance we are offered an opportunity for growth or change, a chance for greater understanding of life's heights and pitfalls. Each time we choose to lament what isn't, we close the door on the invitation to a better existence.
We simply don't know just what's best for us. Our vision is limited. Less so today than yesterday, but limited still. The experiences we are offered will fail to satisfy our expectations because we expect so much less than God has planned for us in the days ahead.
We get what we need in the way of relationships, adventures, joys and sorrows, today and every day. Celebrating what we get and knowing there is good in it eases whatever trial we are undergoing. We are cared for, right now. We need not lament what we think we need. We do have what we need. We will always get what we need, when we need it.
I will breathe deeply and relax. At this moment my every need is being attended to.
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me all at once. --Jennifer Unlimited
We all need a little humor in our lives and in the way we work the program. For example, one of the first things we learn in recovery is to "take one day at a time." This is very good advice, so we practice living that way. Most days it works pretty well.
But once in a while it seems like we can't even handle one day. We just can't handle everything that happens along the way, plus carry out our own plans for the day. Perhaps we have to stop and change a flat tire. Or a friend calls and needs help. Or one of our kids has a meltdown in the grocery store. Or maybe all those things happen in the same day! That kind of day used to be our perfect excuse to get high.
Now it's a perfect excuse to take a deep breath, call our sponsor or a friend, and have a good laugh about it. Now we realize that our days are not really ours. We can plan them, but we can't really control them. That's just the way it is, and it's okay.
Prayer for the Day
Higher Power, please help me to pay attention to the most important things today. And please, send a few good laughs my way.
Today's Action
I will find a few things to laugh about today.
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
A good garden may have some weeds. --Thomas Fuller
Newcomer
I've done a few things I'm not proud of, but isn't that part of being human? Other people aren't perfect either.
Sponsor
Looking honestly and unflinchingly at our behavior, while at the same time having compassion for ourselves, is a powerful combination. Steps Four through Nine offer us a simple process for clearing up the wreckage of the past so that we can live without the burden of regret. In recovery, we have the opportunity to change for the better, not to demand perfection of ourselves or others.
My perfectionism sometimes makes me forget that I'm engaged in a process of change over time. It also lets me exaggerate both how "good" and "bad" I am. If I'm not "the greatest" in some situation, I decide, in my arrogance, that I must be the "the worst." What a strange way of giving myself importance! One of the program sayings reminds me not to compare my insides with other people's outsides. I have my own unique gifts; accepting and nurturing these gifts brings me joy and allows me to contribute to the human community.
We're capable of feeling love and compassion for others who are far from perfect. In recovery, we can learn to extend that love and compassion to ourselves.
For today, I will delete "perfect" from my vocabulary and practice using the word "better."
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
If we earnestly and conscientiously apply the tools of our program, we are certain to experience positive change. We are promised new freedom and happiness and assured that a Higher Power can and will remove our negative characteristics.
The question is, are we ready to change? If we hang on tightly to self-will, resentments, fear, mistrust, and all the other weaknesses that get in our way, our Higher Power has a tough time prying us loose. We must be prepared to let go and open ourselves to new possibilities if the change we seek is to occur.
Along with taking a daily inventory, we can cultivate the readiness to abandon our counterproductive tendencies and try something new. In this way, we cooperate with the force for positive growth that lies within each of us. We cannot command or control this force, but we can learn to be responsive to it.
Today, I am ready for positive change. I will be responsive to inner nudges that move me in that direction.
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Without a sense of humor, you're old in a hurry. --Janice Clark
We've all been in the company of constant complainers. They drag down the mood of everyone they encounter. Can we be accused of this demeanor on occasion too?
Maybe it seems impossible to wear a happy face all the time. And it's not always easy to laugh at ourselves, particularly when we're feeling anxious and vulnerable. However, becoming willing to see the humor in our many foibles, learning to not take ourselves so seriously is well worth the effort. The lucky ones among us learned this trait many years ago, and we recognize them instantly. We generally love being around them, too. Laughter is good medicine. Whether it's at ourselves or simply at a situation or a clever movie, laughter lightens our mood, thus lightening whatever burden we might be carrying.
When we were young, most of us had fears about financial instability, war, our children, or our careers. Life does have many serious aspects. But we were never required to handle any of them alone. If we relied on the God of our understanding, all of the burdens were more easily accepted. That gave us time to breathe more easily. Laughter was then more frequent. It can be more frequent now, too. It's simply a decision to see every circumstance with a lighter heart.
It's so much more fun to laugh than to complain. It's my choice today.
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
I was sitting in the chair at the beauty shop getting my hair cut one day and listening to my beautician chatter away. She showed me a picture of one of her friends, a woman who had gotten married and recently had a baby girl.
"She's been so in love since that child was born," she said, showing me a picture of the new mother's smiling face.
"In love with her husband?" I asked.
"No," she said. "Well, that, too. I mean in love with life."
Have you ever been in love, had your heart beat fast when you anticipated the call of your lover, felt the way the sun felt warmer on your face, the sky appeared bluer, the clouds more fluffy, and the sunset more grand?
What if you could fall in love with your life and feel that way each day? I'm not saying romantic relationships are bad. They're not. They're part of being human and getting our needs met. But what if we could take all that passion and focus it into falling in love with life?
Maybe that is what is meant by universal love. Maybe that's the part we give back.
Fall in love with your life today.
God, help me feel passionate about my life and all the possibilities that stretch out before me.
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Fear imprisons, faith liberates; fear paralyzes, faith empowers; fear disheartens, faith encourage; fear sickens, faith heals; fear makes useless, faith makes serviceable. -- Harry Emerson Fosdick
It has been said that the opposite of fear is faith. But how do we change our fears into faith if we have little or no faith? How do we start having faith? One of the easiest ways to develop an alternative to fear is to ask ourselves during a moment of fear: What is the worst that could happen? Once we know the answer to that question, we have dealt with the source of our fears - the unknown.
What do we fear now? First we need to identify all the unknowns that we fear. Once we recognize all the things that can happen, we will be able to prepare ourselves for possible failure, loss, or sadness. By recognizing the fears, we take away some of their power over us. We can then believe we will be all right.
What do I fear and why do I fear it? I know I am okay because I have identified my fear.
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
One day at a time, This is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past. For it is gone. . . And do not be troubled about the future. For it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful. That it will be worth remembering.
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
How do we feel around martyrs? Guilty, angry, trapped, negative, and anxious to get away.
Somehow, many of us have developed the belief that depriving ourselves, not taking care of ourselves, being a victim, and suffering needlessly will get us what we want.
It is our job to notice our abilities, our strengths, and take care of ourselves by developing and acting on them.
It is our job to notice our pain and weariness and appropriately take care of ourselves.
It is our job to notice our deprivation, too, and begin to take steps to give ourselves abundance. It begins inside of us, by changing what we believe we deserve, by giving up our deprivation and treating ourselves the way we deserve to be treated.
Life is hard, but we don't have to make it more difficult by neglecting ourselves. There is no glory in suffering, only suffering. Our pain will not stop when a rescuer comes, but when we take responsibility for ourselves and stop our own pain.
Today, I will be my own rescuer. I will stop waiting for someone else to work through my issues and solve my problems for me.
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
We've been given recovery. For this, we're lucky. And we're grateful. Now it's up to us. We must accept our choices. When we're afraid, do we choose to be alone? Or do we choose to go to an extra meeting? When we're not honest, do we keep it secret? Or do we admit it and try to be more honest? No matter what we choose, we're responsible for that choice. Through choices, we either make our program strong or weak.
We can choose to be lucky. Or we can choose not to be. The choice is ours. Our addiction robbed us of choice. It taught us to blame others. Now we see ourselves as responsible.
Prayer for the Day
Higher Power, help me to choose wisely. Help me remember I'm responsible for my choices.
Today's Action
Today I'll work at being responsible for my choices. I'll see myself as one of the lucky ones.
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Some couples live as if they are fighting a cold war. Conflicts are handled by retreat into silence with each feeling like a self-righteous victim. When we retreat into this role we abandon ourselves and our commitments to our relationship. We tear away at the relationship we originally created out of love and hope.
When conflicts arise, as they must, resolution depends on taking the risk to go back to our partner with enough calmness to listen and speak our piece. We must let go of our pride and desire to be right. We each believe our case is just.
But our differences are not necessarily about who is right or wrong, good or bad. Every conflict has many levels. Many times in conflict what we want most is to feel listened to and understood. When we listen and work to understand, we can let go of our need to "win," and our differences can build our common strength.
Tell your partner about a conflict or difference of opinion for which you have gone silent.
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
... there are many sham diamonds in this life which pass for real, and vice versa, many real diamonds which go unvalued. --W. M. Thackeray
It's high praise to say that someone is "genuine - the real thing." We use the image of jewelry when we talk about character: "Pure gold - 14 karat - rings true - a diamond of the first water - a pearl." The qualities of beauty and rarity make gems precious to us, and by using the same language to describe people, we imply that real personal worth is equally beautiful, and equally rare.
Yet it's within everyone's grasp. We all agree on the valuable character traits: honesty, loyalty, openness, courage, humor, and the capacity for love. Imitations won't do.
I needn't worry about whether someone else's qualities are genuine. I know what I admire and I have plenty to do polishing my own.
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
If we blindly accept someone else's beliefs or opinions - taking them as our own - then we set ourselves up for disappointment and heartache. If we do not examine another's viewpoint, in the light of our own experiences and abilities, we place the control of our happiness or sorrow in someone else's hands.
A gentleman illustrated this point with a story from his own life. "My father always regarded sticking with one job as a mark of stability. This, he felt, was emotional maturity even though he stayed unhappily at the same job for years. I never questioned his opinion.
"So, when I lost my first teaching job, I lost all my self-confidence as well as my father's approval. I believed I was emotionally immature and unstable. Then, after four more teaching job disasters. I discovered what the real issue was. It wasn't my lack of maturity or stability at all. It was my unsuitability to the job itself.
"I discovered I hated teaching basic skills just for the security of a paycheck. What I really wanted to do was write. That's what I'm doing now, but it took me five teaching jobs and a deep questioning of my father's views before I found what was right for me."
Today, I will not blindly accept another's opinion without examining it in the light of my own experiences, abilities, and desires.
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
It takes more courage to reveal insecurities than to hide them, more strength to relate to people than to dominate them, more "manhood" to abide by thought-out principles rather than blind reflex. Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles and an immature mind. --Alex Karras
In our culture, being a man often means being tough and not showing feelings. We realize in this life of recovery that those are silly and immature myths, even though we see them repeatedly on TV, on billboards, and in newspapers.
When we are told these things repeatedly, it makes an impact on us. So we need to hear from each other that this is not the way we wish to live. We don't admire these attitudes, and we don't believe the stories. Truly courageous men know themselves. They have been around enough to have depth to their souls, to let themselves love, and to feel the pain of life.
Today, I am grateful to know and share my feelings and to have genuine relationships with those I love.
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Anything forced into manifestation through personal will is always "ill got" and has "ever bad success." --Florence Scovel Shinn
The main thrust of our recovery is to attune ourselves to God's will, struggling no longer to impose our own. The pain we've endured in past years was often of our own making. We controlled situations until we managed to force the outcome we desired, only to realize it didn't offer happiness. It was, instead, a bitter ending to the struggle.
When we want something or someone to play by our rules, we can expect barriers. And when the barriers don't give way with a gentle push, we should consider it a clue that we are off course. When we want what God wants for us, the barriers, if any, will fall away.
What God wants for us at every moment is growth and happiness. When we step away from our ego and develop a selfless posture toward life, we'll find serenity in the midst of any turmoil. Serenity is God's promise. When we get in line with God's will, we'll find peace.
I will know God's will if I will listen to my inner voice. I will do what feels right, and peace will be my reward.
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Some people regard discipline as a chore. For me, it is a kind of order that sets me free to fly. --Julie Andrews
If we think of the word discipline, we might visualize forms of punishment or reprimand from teachers, parents, or bosses. Yet discipline doesn't have to be negative or an effort in blood, sweat, and tears. Discipline can be the structure we need in order to achieve our goals.
Within the program are disciplines to follow to achieve our goal of a renewed outlook on life. The Steps are probably the greatest discipline, for they provide a framework to formulate more positive beliefs about ourselves and our lives. Going to meetings is another discipline that helps keep us on track as we learn and grow. There are other disciplines, too - sharing with others, reading literature, becoming committed to a group, and practicing the program's principles in all our affairs. All these disciplines keep us focused on our ultimate goal -- freedom from all past obsessions and negativity. With the discipline of the program, we can learn to fly.
I can discipline myself to remain focused on the program. I know the benefits of such discipline.
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Someone once defined the ego as "the sum total of false ideas about myself." Persistent reworking of the Twelve Steps enables me to gradually strip away my false ideas about myself. This permits nearly imperceptible but steady growth in my understanding of the truth about myself. And this, in turn, leads to a growing understanding of other human beings and God . Do I strive for self-honesty, promptly admitting when I'm wrong?
Today I Pray
God, teach me understanding; teach me to know truth when I meet it; teach me the importance of self-honesty, so that I may be able to say, sincerely, "I was wrong," along with, "I am sorry." Teach me that there is such a thing as a "healthy ego" which does not require that feelings be medicated by mood-alterers. May I slowly, on my tightrope, move toward the ideal of balance, so I can do away with the nets of falsehood and compulsion.
Today I Will Remember
To keep my balance.
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
It is a mistake to look too far ahead. Only one link in the chain of destiny can be handled at a time. --Sir Winston Churchill
How many times today will we think or say, "I wish I knew what was going to happen"? We can find contentment in the knowledge that God will take care of us, regardless of the outcome of any situation. And even more importantly, God already knows the outcome, and we'll know it too when the time is right. We never need to worry; all is well. We're given the knowledge and direction we need when we're ready for it.
If we had known two or three or ten or twenty years ago that we'd be sharing our current journey with non-using, non-drinking men and women, we'd likely have expressed horror and disbelief. And yet we're here, gratefully so, living more peace-filled moments than we would have ever imagined possible. We got here, little by little, with God's care. We'll get where we're supposed to be in the same loving manner.
I will trust each moment of my life to God's loving care.
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Our habits save time, and some of the good ones, such as abstinence, can also save our lives. A fine line separates useful habits from ruts; however, the former, we wish to cultivate, and the latter, we'd just as soon avoid.
How about trying a new route to work? It might take a little longer, but you'd also have different scenery to view. How about doing some relaxing, stretching, unwinding exercises before dinner? Introducing novelty into the details of our existence makes us aware that today is a new day and that we can alter our responses.
Habits are our servants, not our masters. When we see how easy it is to change the color of our toothbrush and start with the bottom teeth instead of the top, we can branch out to other, more significant activities. We can make changes in our behavior that will change our lives in positive ways.
What would you like to do differently today? What specific action can you take to begin to climb out of an uncomfortable rut?
I will identify an unproductive habit today and turn it upside down.
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
If addiction is about control, recovery is about letting go. If addiction is about denial, recovery is about accepting what is.
As we spend time in the program, we learn something unexpected and amazing. Life is so full of twists and turns, it's easier to follow along than to try to straighten them out. It's easier to have fewer expectations because, after all, we have no control over the future or the present.
Can I practice letting go?
Higher Power, help me to be open, flexible, and accepting in my recovery.
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Anything forced into manifestation through personal will is always "ill got" and has "ever bad success." --Florence Scovel Shinn
The main thrust of our recovery is to attune ourselves to God's will, struggling no longer to impose our own. The pain we've endured in past years was often of our own making. We controlled situations until we managed to force the outcome we desired, only to realize it didn't offer happiness. It was, instead, a bitter ending to the struggle.
When we want something or someone to play by our rules, we can expect barriers. And when the barriers don't give way with a gentle push, we should consider it a clue that we are off course. When we want what God wants for us, the barriers, if any, will fall away.
What God wants for us at every moment is growth and happiness. When we step away from our ego and develop a selfless posture toward life, we'll find serenity in the midst of any turmoil. Serenity is God's promise. When we get in line with God's will, we'll find peace.
I will know God's will if I will listen to my inner voice. I will do what feels right, and peace will be my reward.
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Grief and crisis . . . accept it as a wise teacher.
A couple has a child whom they would go to great lengths to protect, yet the child falls ill and lies near death. A woman devotes years to a career; then the economy shifts, leaving her unemployed. Addiction diverts a man from his path, and he loses everything he cares about. Life brings trial and defeat as part of its package. We would never choose defeat and we cannot avoid its pain, but we can accept it as a wise teacher. Out of defeat is born new strength.
We need wisdom to deal with defeat and grief. We will face them together more than once. The false comforts of self-pity and blame may tempt us in our pain, but they take much more from us than they give back. Through crisis we see clearly what truly counts in our lives, and we are better prepared to relish the pleasures when they arrive.
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Man can live his truth, his deepest truth, but cannot speak it. --Archibald. MacLeish
Many of us have lived double lives. There were public selves whom others knew, and private selves whom no one met. It was a compulsive world, and both sides were false. Many of us grew up in addicted families and learned this double life early by hiding from outsiders what life was really like at home.
In this program we learn to live our truth before we can speak it. It is more in our actions than in what we say. We may never know the words for this truth because we do not consciously invent it. It comes to us quietly over time and slowly merges all our parts. Gradually we begin to feel whole again as we surrender our double lives for single, truthful ones.
Let me have the trust to give myself to the work of recovery and follow it where it takes me.
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
My relationship with nature and plants is almost like religion with me. --Monty Cralley
Feeling connected to something outside of ourselves is important to our perception of life. And being alive assures us of many new situations. Maybe it's a move to a smaller residence or our recovery from the death of a dear friend. Having to give up cherished possessions is a decision we all have to make at some point, too. But handling any of these circumstances is easier when we have a connection to the world around us; nature, for example, can always provide us with a sense of solace and familiarity.
The natural world comforts many of us. Just noting the cycle of life in the trees and plants helps us to remember that everything changes. Everything is transformed, but life and beauty are still present if we look for it. When we're feeling lonely, it helps to remember that God is still present and evident in the miracle of the natural world.
It doesn't matter how we define God or if we do at all. God may speak to us through the swaying tree branches or through people. Or we may get a glimmer of God in a passage in a book. That we do sense something larger and external to ourselves is what matters at the end of the day.
I will continue nurturing my spiritual side today.
This will comfort me.
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Many of us just did what other people did. We took drugs. But we felt so different from "normal" people. Why? Because of the way we did drugs and because drugs were so unfulfilling for us. It's a joke among us recovering addicts that we tried so hard to look normal.
Non-addicts didn't know our torment, didn't know that we lived in another world. While high, we felt moments of euphoria and false well being. When the drugs wore off, we suffered centuries of misery. Both are feelings that "normal" people did not experience.
In the fellowship, however, we share all our feelings because we know that we are among friends, we know that we are finally home.
Do I share my true feelings with others?
Higher Power, I pray for the willingness to see my true feelings more clearly and to share myself with my fellow addicts.
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
