"Its not about letting God in today, its about letting God out."
For years I hoarded all the good that was inside me. The capacity I had to be of service, to care for others, to truly make a difference in other peoples life, I diverted to serve and advance my own selfish needs and wants. When you needed help, my first thought was, Whats in it for me? If I couldnt find a compelling answer to that question, I wouldnt bother. This attitude left me barren of feeling, alone and self-destructive.
In early recovery, I was still pretty shut down and unwilling to help or participate. When others offered to help me, I was suspicious of their motives. Whats in it for them? was my reaction, and I remained distrustful for quite a while. It took contrary action for me to follow my sponsors direction to be of service at meetings, to take commitments like greeting people, or cleaning up afterwards, or going out to fellowship. Although I was convinced I would get nothing out of it, over time I found I was wrong.
There is a saying in the rooms that recovery is simply a matter of one alcoholic helping another. The miracle of the program is that this simple act of giving without the expectation of getting anything back is how it all works. The innate capacity in us to love, to give and to be of service reflect the same qualities of the God within us all. The magic and healing of recovery come from letting this energy of God out, rather than damning it in to benefit ourselves. As the poet Browning said, the ultimate goal of us all is to, set the imprisoned splendor free.
And thats why today its not so much about letting God in, but letting God out.
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Copyright @ 2016 Michael Z
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
