I stopped drinking 6 days ago and so far have just being trying to go it alone. Thing is I know that I could do with some help. So I thought I would try and get to an AA meeting, but I really don't know were to start.
I looked at the AA website and the various meeting have titles like " emotional sobriety", "as Bill sees it" etc.
The website explains about open meetings but that's about it. What's the difference between the various meetings and am I able to just turn up at any of them?
Welcome to this discussion forum, Chatillon. I'm glad you are sober today. There are many like you here and in AA.
You can attend any AA meeting if you are an alcoholic or think you might be. All AA meetings are helpful to our staying sober. Find a meeting by doing a search online for your city. Or you can call the number for AA in your local phone book.
I would suggest that you go to any AA meeting as soon as you can. They will ask if you are a newcomer. They will be very supportive.
Also, there are online meetings you can go to. An example is:
http://aaonline.net
which has 4 or 5 meetings a day.
I suggest you go to a meeting as soon as you can. Come back here and tell us about it, if you like. We want to know how you are doing.
Good luck.
P.S. Here are some prior discussion threads about different meeting types:
Yup, these other guys are right, if you have a desire to stop drinking you are welcome in any AA meeting. Some of them have 'names' as you have seen in the directly, but usually the name is just a name and they are all just 'plain old AA' meetings. When we are new, it's a good idea to just get to a lot of different meetings so we can get a good overall look at the options and find the meetings that we like best. We know it can seem intimidating at first, but keep in mind that everyone else there at the meetings has been where you are, they just got there a little sooner. And they are willing to help, because that's what others did for them when they were newly sober. That's how it works in AA. One alcoholic helping another.
My only suggestion about choosing a meeting might be this - most meetings are for both men and women but some may have a description like "women's meeting" or "men's meeting" so you might want to avoid those that don't apply to you and pick a different one. Other than that, just go for it! If you have any questions about any of this please feel free to ask, and after you go to your first meeting please come back here and let us know how it went, ok?
I went to my first meeting, I was a bit nervous. It was an "As Bill Sees it" meeting held in a meeting room in a church. I was there a bit early so waited outside for a while. I thought about just going home, but stuck with it. I didn't know what to expect and that was the scary part. I thought that there would be five or six old men who looked like hell, had dogs on leads/leashes and smelt a bit.
Nothing could be further from the truth. There were about 30 people there, more men than women. Some were in their 20's others in their 70's. Some were dressed in jeans and t-shirts others in suites. Some had broad Scottish or Irish accents others spoke as if they had been to private school. In other words it was a complete mix. One member said a few words, then another read something from the "As Bill Sees it book". After that various people just spoke about something that they were thinking. It wasn't their life history it was just a few words. Or something relating to the reading. After that they asked if there were any visitors from overseas. Then if any new members wanted to speak. I was too nervous to say anything and just kept quite at this point. After that they pointed out who had literature and who was the treasurer. There then followed a prayer and the meeting closed.
I didn't really know what to do then, but I forced myself to go and say hello to one of the two people who had been leading the meeting. She chatted with me for a few minutes and I was give a pack with a few leaflets. Then she said that a number of the people there were going to get coffee and did I want to join them. So I did.
In the queue while waiting to buy coffee one guy who had been at the meeting chatted to me and was very friendly. In the end he gave me his contract details. Then another guy started to chat to me and it turned out that we had something in common and that was kind of an ice breaker. After a while a third guy who was also fairly new started to chat with us.
In the end someone said that there was another meeting just about to start and did anyone want to go. Well the guy that I have something in common with and the other guy thats also fairly new and I went. It was very similar to the first meeting except it didn't have the reading from the book. Also there were maybe 150 people there. In the first meeting most people were talking about being happy. In the second meeting the subjects were much more serious and some people found it painful to talk.
Did I find it helpful?
Well yes it interesting how you can relate to other people but not really know them.
I am going to try and get to at least one other meeting this week and will try and go back next week.
How do I get a sponsor and also what the chip's all about?
Well done! It's especially good that you took the initiative to spend some time socializing with the other attendees after the meeting. We sometimes refer to that as the 'meeting after the meeting'. As you've already seen, meetings can vary in their format, topic of discussion, and the less tangible aspects like the tone or atmosphere, so it's a good idea to try out quite a few so you can get a good view of the variety and can find the meetings and the people that you really 'click' with the best.
Another thing that we often do to help each other between meetings is to offer phone lists of meeting attendees, or to swap contact info one-on-one after the meeting. This enables us to use the phone to stay in touch with the people that we met at the meetings, either just to say 'hi' or to ask questions or of course to reach out for help if you are really fighting with an urge to drink and could use some support. To avoid complications in early sobriety, it is often recommended that these contacts be people of the same gender as you.
A sponsor is someone who has been sober for a good amount of time and who has worked all of AA's twelve steps, and has, as a result, attained the kind of sanity and serenity in their sobriety that you want to have in your own, and they are someone who is willing to help show you how they did it so you can get what they have. There are some good AA leaflets about sponsorship that offer good explanations of what a sponsor is, and just as important, what a sponsor is not. I encourage you to check these out. If your local meetings don't have these, here's a link to the version on the main AA web site:
http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-15_Q&AonSpon.pdf
You can get a lot of other good info for the new member from the "pamphlets" section on the main AA web site here: http://www.aa.org
To actually GET a sponsor, we pay attention to what people are saying in the meetings, and when we find someone who meets the description of someone who would likely be able to be a good sponsor, we just approach them after the meeting, tell them that we are new and looking for a sponsor to show us how to work the twelve steps, and see if they agree to help. Not everyone is in a position to be able to do so, so don't take it personally if someone has to decline, just ask the next good candidate, or maybe ask that person if they can recommend someone who is able to be a sponsor. Please note - it's good idea for men to sponsor men and for women to sponsor women.
The 'chips' are a sort of informal tradition that many meetings use to celebrate certain milestones in lengths of sobriety. The specifics vary from place to place, and not all meetings participate in this practice. But in addition to chips for various lengths of sobriety, many meetings also offer a 'chip' for the new member (typically anyone with less than 30 days of continuous sobriety) as a 'welcome' token, and these can be helpful. When I was new, I always carried my chip in my pocket to help remind me that I was making a commitment to stay sober 'just for today', to help me stay sober until the next meeting, and it did actually help in some rough moments between meetings to know that I had that chip.
I hope this helps, and again, welcome!
-- Edited by davep12and12 on Monday 25th of July 2016 12:10:35 PM
-- Edited by davep12and12 on Monday 25th of July 2016 12:11:42 PM
-- Edited by davep12and12 on Monday 25th of July 2016 12:14:38 PM
-- Edited by davep12and12 on Monday 25th of July 2016 04:08:08 PM
Well done Alex , two meetings in a day , it is recommended that you get to 90 meetings in 90 days , that gives us a chance to start changing old habits.
Welcome to Your new life . Yes , that is not an idle statement . This is Not going to be your old life . This is not going to be your old life , patched up.
Alex , this Is going to be a brand New life for you . Mine started within minutes of making the decision to try this . I felt so much lighter . The charge
nurse in the clinic where I was noticed something about me & asked . I said I feel so much lighter , she said "it's all that junk you have been carrying
around all your life . I have not looked back . Yes there has been some trials , but I have worked through them & come out stronger.
Thanks for the update Aex . Keep coming back . WE Need you.
