1st step in Sobriety

jenC · Newbie

1st step in Sobriety

Tanin · MIP Old Timer

Welcome to this discussion forum, Jen. Congrats on 35 months sober.
Are you AA?

jenC · Newbie

yeah I am. :)

Tanin · MIP Old Timer

I didn't write out anything when I did my 1st step, so I can't give you a suggestion. Someone else will come along with one, probably.

For me, the first step was COMPLETE recognition that I could not control my drinking. And that I could never hope to. I was beaten.

So, I said: no mas.

Mystic Man · Veteran Member

Hello Jen & welcome to MiP . I think it Is a great idea . Even before I got to AA , I did a lot of "writing therapy". Allthough , not

journaling . I did find it Very helpful when I got here & especially after a group member introduced me to Louise Hay's work.

So , I find "mirror & writing , very therapeutic . At a Steps group in Sydney , group of us took 19mths to get through the steps.

We enjoyed it so much , we did it again , the 2nd time only took 18mths , that was a weekly steps group . Like your example ,

we did things like - we admitted - we were powerless . Came - came to - came to believe etc.

May be simplistic , but that is the way I like this . As my life is complicated & I Need to Keep Everything simple.

Please Keep coming back to let us know how you are going , it sounds interesting.

Db1105 · Senior Member

Ive never seen the point of writing anything other than the Fourth and Eight Steps out. I can suggest that a good read on sponsorship is AAWS's 'Questions and Answers on Sponsorship'. you can read it online here:

www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-15_Q&AonSpon.pdf

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Welcome to MIP JenC, ...

If your sponsor thinks you should repeat the 12 steps, there must be a reason ... Once I completed the steps, with total honesty, and learned the value of do'n steps 10, 11, & 12 over and over, It became a 'Way of Life' for me ... and I feel if done properly and with conviction, your work, and family problems and every other type problem will be solved or at the very least, become insignificant ....

Love ya and God Bless.
Pappy

MarcLacroix · Senior Member

Hello Jennifer;
My name is Marc and I am an Alcoholic.
Your Sponsor seems fearless and thorough. This is good. :)
I kept a written record of stuff I've scribbled over the years.
If you want You can take a look at it over here: www.weekendwinnerworkshop.org/GreenBase/Entrance.html

Marc

jhamlett · Veteran Member

Hey Jen,

I'm James and I've been sober in AA for 30 years and in that time one thing I've come to realize is that everyone has their own take on some of these "softer" steps. "Softer" meaning the Big Book doesn't give EXPLICIT instructions like it does for steps 4, 5, 8 to some extent, 9, 10 and 11. To me those are the "Firmer" steps since how to execute them is spelled out in detail.

While the end goal is an "admission", there are different roads to get to that "admission". For some people it's obvious to themselves after a lifetime of experience with powerless and manageability. Some of us use the tool of writing when it isn't as obvious to ourselves. Personally I fell sort of in the middle of that, some writing did help illuminate a few things for me, mostly the extent of it all.

The Big Book offers some insight on what kind of experiences to look for:

"At a certain point in the drinking of every
alcoholic, he passes into a state where the most powerful
desire to stop drinking is of absolutely no avail.
This tragic situation has already arrived in
practically every case long before it is suspected.
The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet
obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Our
so-called will power becomes practically nonexistent.
We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our
consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the
suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago.
We are without defense against the first drink."

Alcoholics Anonymous 2nd Ed. Chapter 2- There Is A Solution, pp. 24

In the beginning I was advised to consider that it may be more than just alcohol that I am powerless over and unable to manage. To some extent, this applies to most of things in my life haha.

MarcLacroix · Senior Member

To this day, I am still doing it on my own with the tools AA has to offer.
I have yet to find a Real Alcoholic who has actually done the work.
They say 'Sure, I've done the steps'.
I say 'Show me your work'.

Marc

chris · Senior Member

Well I guess I must be a fake alcoholic, because I did the work. And no, I wouldn't show it to you or anyone else who asked to see it. I shredded my written step work about a year after I did it. There was no need for my husband or children to come upon my notebook and read some of the things that were in there.

Jen, I've never heard of writing out a first step, but if your sponsor is asking you to do it, seems like you should. Good luck.

Fyne Spirit · MIP Old Timer

"We learned that we had to fully concede to out innermost selves that we were alcoholic. This is the first step in recovery. The delusion that we are like other people or presently may be, has to be smashed" This it the first step direction from the big book, and it is surrounded by comprehensive experience, example, and medical opinion against which we can compare our own experience. Then it is yes, this is the problem, or no, it isn't.

I'm with Pappy on this. I took the steps once, 36 years ago, and learned to live in 10, 11 and 12. To maintain spiritual fitness and therefore sobriety, I must work with others, which means I do steps 1-9 over again with the newcomer. Remove the newcomer from the practice and the spirtual element, as defined by AA, is gone, and the steps are then being used as some kind of psychological tool.

Research (crapes 2002) shows that being sponsored has no effect on whether you will stay sober or not (beyond human aid? sponsors are only human) . However it shows that sponsoring increases your chances exponentially, just as the Big Book says. Have you noticed it is the sponsors that seem to get the best out of AA? There is a reason for that, and it is spiritual , not psychological.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Amen to what Mike (Fyne Spirit) said ... ... ...

MarcLacroix · Senior Member

chris wrote:
Jen, I've never heard of writing out a first step, but if your sponsor is asking you to do it, seems like you should. Good luck.

The first few chapters in the BigBook are a detailed written Step One by the first hundred who got sober and formed AA. PowerLessNess is the problem and finding a Higher Power solves it.

This is explained in the Fucking Book READ IT !!! :)

Marc

chris · Senior Member

Marc, I'm really tired of you thinking you know the only correct way to do AA. This is a forum where people offer their help to people asking for it. I was answering Jen from my experience in AA over the last 10 years. Stop swearing at me and telling me to read the Big Book. I've read it a few hundred times. Get back in your space ship and return to your own universe where they think writing something nasty followed by a smiley emoticon makes it OK.

MarcLacroix · Senior Member

Those who do what the First Hundred Drunks did will get and stay sober.
That is the way to do AA.

Marc

leavetherest · MIP Old Timer

I had never heard of writing out a First Step and the answer on how to do so was not posted on here. So, I found this site and info which, to me, may be helpful to some as well as myself to become more aware of my problem. And no, I do not intend on "showing" it to anyone on here :):):)

http://www.personal.kent.edu/~djrichar/StepOne.htm

-- Edited by leavetherest on Monday 15th of August 2016 08:54:21 AM

MarcLacroix · Senior Member

Putting Step One in writing helps the mind get used to the idea
that alcohol will kill you and there is no denying it.
Relapse is not an option for me.
To Drink is To Die and there is absolutely no doubt about it.

I guess you really haven't looked at the Joe and Charlie stuff I gave you.
That's ok, you don't have to if you do not want to.

Marc

leavetherest · MIP Old Timer

You "gave" me?????

I have listened to quite a few Joe and Charlie tapes. Great inspirational folks and messages! Shame they didn't stick with me. I'll have to listen again so hopefully it will reinforce staying sober and living a "happy, joyous and free" life. There is always room for improvement for me and I am open to suggestions so thanks for that.

MarcLacroix · Senior Member

leavetherest wrote:
You "gave" me?????

Yes;

It was in this thread:

http://aa.activeboard.com/t57619936/message-to-newcomers-about-the-13th-step/

I guess you missed it.

Marc

Mystic Man · Veteran Member

I Am a Firm believer of USING a Lot of things Available to US . Various "Tools" WE can use.

I Have seen long term sobriety using - 1 - 12 & 3 . Steps 1 & 12 , and the 3rd Tradition.

Physical - just go to meetings/don't pick up the 1st drink . Medical - using the skills & talents of health Professionals .

Psychological-Spiritual.I believe these tools are close , they are tools WE "Come to believe" , once we get to know &

most-times "see in hindsight", how All these Are working in Our life to Maintain our sobriety . Most of us just "work"

the Spiritual aspect of the "Whole" of Our Unique principals & "Intuitive" way of life . As , before I got here I Did get

Baffled over some things . Yes , I functioned "Ok" in most "normal" things , excelled in a couple . But on some "important"

ones , I was "below par". When , we went out for dinner or drinks , I was ok . When I went out for a drink , or went to the

pub after footy training , I mostly forgot the time , ant it was Never "a drink" , it was "too many".

So , today , with over 30yrs . Yes I celebrated 30yrs last week with meetings in Columbia Falls Mt .

I use a bunch of tools to Maintain my sobriety . I still write . I am on meds . I use Metaphysical tools . I use a Therapist.

I STILL Go to Meetings , all types of meetings & Regularly .

Within a week of me getting sober , a man said to me "I have Never seen anyone "plunge" as Quick as you do" . I existed,

before I got here & it was a meagre existence . The sad part , was I did Not realise How meagre it was.

The QUALITY of my life today IS immeasurable . You see . You did not give my old life back to me when I got here , you did not

give me my old life "patched up" . You Offered me a New life . I Humbly accepted that new life AND Today I Graciously . LIVE it.

davep12and12 · MIP Old Timer

Hey Mystic Man, congratulations on 30 years of sobriety! smile

btw, what is "footy training" ??? confuse

Tanin · MIP Old Timer

Hey Mystic Man, we used to have a good member here who was from Grafton. Not terribly far from Sidney.

His name here was Zoomtopz. Also went by Rick. Good guy. Good sense of humour. Miss him.

Know him, by any chance?

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Congrats Mystic Man on 30 BIG ones ... ... ...

I absolutely loved your post ... great stuff ... thanks ...

Love ya man and God Bless,
Pappy