Hi MB ,read your post. Good you joined here, I so far have found i ta good way to learn/read/journal/write/share. This weekend (in Australia) we did not have your 4th. We had a national election. A certain degree of personal negative significance for me because it reminded me of the last election- and what I was doing at that time. Strangely I brushed off any bad feelings- for today accepted them and went on to have a reasonable sort of a day- sober. My history over the last 10 months is more than many people would fit into 2 (or 3 ) lifetimes. Because of alcohol I very much lost nearly every thing. My life (3-4 times, at least), my arm (only once), wife, contact with my adult sons (who I adore, love and miss until I bleed), money, safety, stability, health etc. My father and one of my bothers died because of alcohol.
In the past such occasions as your 4th made me feel crap or happy- both convenient excuses to drink, not that I really needed any. 3 months sober- am thankful for that and hopefully some lessons I am learning (such as being alive) are helping me to remain sober and try to be a little bit more of a good person every day.
