June 13, 2016

Quote of the Week

"There are no victims, only volunteers - 

you always have a choice."

This was a tough lesson to learn. When I was new to Al-Anon, I was a victim to so many people and situations and when I spoke to people about it, what I was hoping for was some sympathy and understanding. Imagine learning that I was instead a volunteer for the drama and pain in my life. That was a large pill to swallow.
 
And it didn't go down easily either. After I accepted I had a choice, and actually began exercising it by not engaging or by acting differently, other people got pretty upset. They were used to me playing a certain role and grew angry and resentful as I began to take different actions.
 
The breakthrough came as I persevered and worked the Al-Anon program. The miracle was that as I changed and recovered, the dynamics of my relationships changed, too. Suddenly, as I took more responsibility for myself, other people took more responsibility for themselves as well. As I focused on myself and recovered, other people and situations improved as well. It all started when I accepted my role as a volunteer and began making different choices.