Thanks for sharing. Probably all of us here have had the same feelings. I had one long time sober guy tell me that every day he thinks about step one and tradition four even if he does nothing else. I recently relapsed after three years sober so back to step one.

Thanks,

T.

My sponsor always lets me know how important the first step is and how if not worked thouroughly, I WILL get drunk/high again.

 

Thanks Pappy. My living situation is the same.....found out that in 2 weeks he may be going out of state to visit relatives--they are drinkers. Think they are the rare kind, to me, and can control their drinking. Going to visit other relatives while there and I am not sure, however do suspect, that there will be more drinkers. So I have an option to go and be around drinkers.....go to see my mom and do without meetings (working on getting my license back so I can drive however will not have it by that time) for a few days or stay here alone. This happened before when I was new in recovery and I remember staying by myself and coming really close to drinking. I was told by him to call anytime night or day if I needed to talk--however, got no answer in the evening when I tried several times so reached out to a couple in AA and no answer. I watched the clock praying and hoping I could make it to midnight (they don't sell alcohol after that time). Made it to midnight and realized, "Damn! I can go drink at a bar until 2:00 a.m.!" So again, I did more clock watching and got through that time. More calling him and it going into VM and me getting more and more upset and frustrated and wanting to drink. I made it though. I didn't drink.

And a couple of other times in my sobriety I was alone overnight and I came here to this board and relied on God and you guys to get me through. So whatever I decide to do in the next couple of weeks I think I will be alright...however, the timing of this kinda sucks. If I had more sober time it would be better. I need to learn to like being by myself. I allowed myself to get too dependent on another person and I do not like being alone. All I can do is remember that First Step and cling on to it and this program for dear life.

-- Edited by leavetherest on Friday 10th of June 2016 09:25:13 AM

I need the Big Guy if I try and read a romance novel, Pappy! Ha! If I end up staying here, I will probably get in two walks a day instead of one and surely more than one meditation time. Also, I have decided to come on here and whine to you guys....now, that's a novel approach (hee, hee). Or maybe I can look up funny videos like this one:

www.youtube.com/watch

Now, Pappy...this is hilarious! You use your own judgement if you need me to delete it, however, be sure to watch it first so you can laugh.
(Laughter is great for us alcoholics and I wanted to share).