Working on day 4, 3 days under my belt.  To the layperson, that may not seem like much.  But, to us, every day is a battle.  I've had SEVERAL day 1 and 2s.  Not many 3 and 4s.  Most ever was two weeks.  No stranger to falling off the proverbial wagon - I have a Frequent Faller card that is very worn with many punch holes.  But, I am thankful.  For the hope and clarity I have today.  Feeling better, sleeping better, eating better.  My mind tried to wander about what would happen tomorrow.  But, it truly is one day at a time - that is enough to tackle.  I need to concentrate and work on today.  Yesterday, a trigger was hit.  A huge trigger.  I would have normally done a double back flip off the wagon into a pool of misery.  But, I didn't.   I went home, cooked and ate well, and worked my ass off and stayed busy until I was too tired to do anything else.

God, as I know him, is good.  He has given me the strength I asked for - I can't do it alone.  Tried that and that dog don't hunt, as we say in the South.  This is so much better than waking up in a haze with liquid amnesia.  So much better than being an asshole to the ones I love.  Better than waking up and realizing I drank the rent money away.  I sit here and wonder how I can ever let myself get in that death-wish rut again?  This is so much better.  But, we all know - cunning, baffling, powerful this disease is.

Thank you to the God I know and thank you to those brothers and sisters who crawl out of this with me everyday.  We are wounded healers.  That's how this works.