My Grandma's Sister passed at the age of 102 during her mid day nap.  My great Aunt.  Our family is full of great Aunts by technicality and by love in action.  One of her daughters was/is my God mother, and one of her other daughters - daughter - had a boy whom I am God Mother to.  The family is tangled neatly by all sorts of strings like this, shooting in every which way... but also bonded through play and card parties and berry picking and canning and quilting and farming...

...even a little childhood skinny dipping we girl cousins, and once-removed-this-or-that's got into, back 2 hay fields at the pond.  I suppose most of us were 7 or under at that time.  My mother has pictures and my husband thinks it's ~so hilarious~ that my mum thought to snap a photo of us wild animals on the farm.  I suppose today someone could be prosecuted for taking naked pictures?  I really don't know... but it was an innocent childhood adventure on a hot summer day.  

We emerged with leeches and blood suckers and toes tangled in muck... but the feeling of the mud at the bottom of the pond, squishing through my feet, and the adventure itself - was worth it and unforgettable.  I am guessing my children will never experience anything other than a properly groomed admission based pool, with nothing to discover but the chemistry of water sanitation.

Nah... they have fun... 

I have thought a lot about the differences between my childhood and my kids.  I think after all is said and done, it is most healthy to *want what you have* as the old saying goes:  Happiness is not in having what you want, but wanting what you have.  When I think of how I feel during the 'wanting' for more, or different or whatever - I feel bad.  When I think of the feeling I get when I am wanting what I have - I am satisfied; happy.

So if I want for my children to have the sort of screen free, wild and non chaperoned life I once had - I am focusing on what I want different.  

But if I focus on the fact that I want the childhood I had - and feel satisfied, gratitude and happy even... I am in the best possible state to inspire happiness in this moment.  Rocketed to the Here and Now.  A platform of usefulness, as they say in 12 step land.  

And maybe achieving that more of the time, will leave my children wanting the childhood they had some day.  

Today when I say 'I wouldn't change a thing' - I believe that with my whole heart, because it matters that I do - to my now.  

My great Aunt loved to talk.  When I was little enough to still be sleeping with my mum in her bed, Elda would call and start talking away... sometimes... most of the time... my mum would lay the phone on the bed and start reading us books.   Often she would pick up the phone and say 'uh huh' and then lay it back down lol.  This was just a normal part of our bedtime routine ha!  

Her husband, whom I never met, hung himself in the barn due to constant ringing in the ears.  She started hoarding after that, and she had the most fantastic things on her property.  Her hoard spread from the house, to the farm sheds and eventually under tarps through out the fields!  As a child, walking through the paths in her house, and looking up and through all the things was absolutely fascinating!  

But... she couldn't part with a single old tin can.  

After a while there was trouble and some things had to be cleaned out.  When they eventually uncovered and removed the rotting carpet - they found bundles and bundles of cash that her husband had stashed under there!  My mom said people who lived through the depression often did this.  My mom said it was over 100k dollars!  From that point on, I had a fascination with checking under rugs for money lololol!  

Once I found a 20 dollar bill and I sometimes wonder if I my mom put it there to stop my hunt lol!   But honestly - if it hadn't been that sort of treasure hunt, it would have been another.  My son hunts for frogs and rocks that sparkle... my daughter tiny flowers and smooth rocks.  My hunt manifested according to my exposure and environment.  It was never much about the money - the value of which I didn't even understand... it was about a childhood adventure... and I have my Great Aunt and Uncle to thank for that.

Thank you all for the adventure here... it is a pleasure and an honor.  Thanks for everything. 

xo