In March of 1996, I quit drinking. About nine months later I had a stroke which nearly killed me. After getting out of the hospital Kim and I divorced. So now I live alone on Social Security Disability and I know what it feels like to live in fear some days. Even at 20 years sober there are days when I wish I were dead. I can understand why people have Panic Attacks. When I read about John's experience I thought to share some ComicReliefSpin. Maybe it helped and maybe it didn't.
When I saw the Towers go down in flames on 9/11 I kinda' figured that World Trade would never be the same. A savage blow had been delt to the Mighty USA and the FED shit its pants. MoneyPrintingPresses went into OverDrive and As a result there is an OceanOfMoney sloshing around the world. Interest rates have been near zero for years and this is causing major financial dislocations all over the world. I'm disabled with limited mobility and can't work.
*** End Rant ***
Alcoholics Anonymous came into being during some AwfullyDarkDays in America. I have the feeling we will all relive them.
Aloha Marc...that brought up memories of what I was like before I got into the program. Without the booze life I was walking around in a very very strange existence until I got a look at the consequence of "Came to believe...as it says in our second step" When I fond that sanity I also found hope and faith and a daily practice of non fear based faith. I do abandon myself to God as I understand God better than surrender. Hope your day goes better.
Your rant reminds me of a story that happened a long time ago. It was around the time of my 6 month anniversary.
A friend of mine, who will remain anonymous, decided to end his life at a very young age. He was not only a successful businessman with 3 restaurants to his name, but he was also a pillar of his community for over 10 years. He had a 6 figure job, a huge house in the suburbs and 3 wonderful, adoring kids. On the outside everything seemed fine, but inwardly he was just a scared little boy.
What started out as an occasional drink turned into a full time habit in less than 2 years. He was homeless and penniless within a short period of time. After years of prolonged abuse, he decided to end his life at the tender age of 39. His family was left with more questions than answers. How can anyone who had it all go downhill so quickly? I think you know the answer to that question.
Maybe there is some truth to the rumor, and maybe the world is poised to self destruct sometime in the near future, who knows. It is, however, nothing new in the world of recovery. Countless lives are lost every single day, in and outside these rooms, and that's a tough pill for anyone to swallow.
So what do we do? Good question. We can either accept our fate and move on or wither away and die just like my friend; it's our choice either way.
The fate that will determine our nation's future is already set in motion. Accepting our fate is just part of the deal, and getting on in spite of it, is equally challenging.
My only mission, as a father and recovering alcoholic, is to make best use of my time as the end draws near. It may be the only alternative in an unsettling world. Thanks, again, for the reminder. Onward.
-- Edited by Mr_David on Tuesday 19th of April 2016 03:25:16 PM
Yeah I posted that LittleRant for the benefit of those who don't believe it could happen to them.
And I also felt like venting a little. Now I feel better. :)
Funny, apocalyptic fears of the world's future have oftentimes been my excuse to drink. After all, what's the point of getting sober if the world is soon to burn itself up with a hundred different nightmare scenarios? So much of what is going on out there is truly horrifying. Yet, this is where I have learned I most need faith and seek the benefits of inner peace. Faith that God is in control and that whatever happens is part of some great cycle that extends beyond my brain's notion of how things "should" be (after all, thousand of people and millions of animals die tragically every single day). Inner peace in learning to be okay with whatever comes, because my trying to control it will only yield more frustration and a desire to bury everything in booze, which poisons the people I love in addition to me.
__________________
When every situation which life can offer is turned to the profit of spiritual growth, no situation can really be a bad one.-Paul Brunton
The recovery lessons from the elders and sponsors I have received have been the foundation of correct belief and behavior. Mostly I store these lessons under the title of Attitude...the how I see and feel and respond about and with my new sober life. One of the belief tidbits I got early on was "God doesn't give us anymore than we can handle". Lets hear a "Hear, Hear from those who have also accepted this truth". Stay out of trouble.
One of the belief tidbits I got early on was "God doesn't give us anymore than we can handle". Lets hear a "Hear, Hear from those who have also accepted this truth". Stay out of trouble.
Well, I have lived through some Difficult Situations and Twenty Years Later I am still alive and sober,
So I guess there is some truth to that 'God' thing. :)
Marc
-- Edited by MarcLacroix on Tuesday 19th of April 2016 04:45:53 PM
Thank you for posting that Marc.....I am sorry that you have had such difficulties in your life. I figured that you had been dealt a few blows in your life.
I went through a period of time when I was younger where I too thought this ole world didn't have much time left. A church I attended had a very colorful preacher who liked to scare the congregation by telling us we better come clean really fast, because the world was ending soon, and unless we repented, we wouldn't be saved and be tormented and burn forever in Hell. (I don't attend church now--haven't in years and years. I have wondered if we're dead anyway and don't have our physical bodies why would being in a fire pit be so "tormenting".) I shared with my mom who told me not to be fearful, that as long as she could remember, she heard the same thing. She said she grew up in a town where it was common to see people walking around with signs around their necks with similar messages.
I know so much is going on around us. It is pretty scary. I can get frightened when I think about all the horrible things going on and people seem to get meaner and meaner with less and less regard for human life. I imagine that is how all the generations before us felt at times. There has always been turmoil and there always will be because the world is imperfect, as are the people who live in it.
Thanks again for your message and I am glad you are still around to share it :)
