April 18, 2016

Quote of the Week

"When I get the flu, I forget I was ever healthy."

I've heard that the "ism" in alcoholism can stand for many things, but my favorite is "incredibly short memory." In sobriety, this presents a double problem. First, having a disease that is constantly telling me I don't have it is hard enough, but because of its incredibly short memory, I often forget how bad things were. The trouble, the demoralization, the hopelessness are all forgotten when my memories are painted with the brush of alcoholism.
 
Second, my incredibly short memory also quickly forgets the good times I've had in sobriety and the possibilities and hope I felt even a few hours ago. An event, a mood, getting a cold, nearly anything can trigger my alcoholism and the color of my life quickly drains, leaving me in a black and barren place. With no hope, and no memory of the bad times, alcoholism has me right where it wants me.
 
This is why I go to meetings. In meetings I get the outside reminder of what it was like, what happened, and what it's like now. I get to hear my story come out of your mouth and suddenly my memory returns - it was bad, and I belong here. I also get reminded of the hope and possibilities I have as I see and participate in the miracles of your lives. And that's when the miracle of recovery happens for me, too. Once again I am safe, I have recovery, and my memory is working perfectly.