Well, here I go again...feeling the need to help others while I have proven unable to help myself. At least I recognize this. I did find this article worthwhile and informative.
"Men and women drink primarily because they like the effect produced by alcohol". - The Doctors Opinion
I loved the effect produced by alcohol. Eventually I realized that I felt uncomfortable when I was sober. As I worked the steps I realized that I was repairing the way I felt when I was sober. Eventually I got to the place where I was comfortable in my own skin.
Wow. This resonated with me. I'm glad I read it. The really sad irony is that the feelings that the article claims alcohol relieves while drinking make them worse when sober. I hate overthinking the world and drinking helped while I was drunk, but it made being sober that much worse. I got so good at the tingly feel-goods of connection, confidence, and spirituality that alcohol produced that they were totally absent from the sober world. It got to the point where sobriety felt like prison. And that's how we know alcohol feeds us immediate illusions in exchange for our longterm happiness and fulfillment. At least, that was my experience.
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When every situation which life can offer is turned to the profit of spiritual growth, no situation can really be a bad one.-Paul Brunton