embarassed/not motivated enough to give up drinking

sorbsauce · Senior Member

embarassed/not motivated enough to give up drinking

MarcLacroix · Senior Member

Hi Riley;
I'm Marc and I'm Alcoholic.
I ain't going to lecture you.
If you want help to quit drinking we can help you with that.
If you don't want help then go bother someone else. :)

Marc

sorbsauce · Senior Member

Hey, I am very okay with a lecture. I am happy to listen. I would never get mad. I seriously look up to you guys who admit to a problem and seek help. I know I have a problem but won't seek help.. Even at a therapist here in town, the highest rated therapist in the area says I am not a alcoholic but just a college student.

davep12and12 · MIP Old Timer

Doesn't matter whether some therapist thinks you are an alcoholic or not.

If you want to stop drinking, there are ways to do that.

You could try the hard way, just doing it on your own with nothing but personal willpower, but it sounds like that didn't work so well when you tried it that way recently.

Or you could try getting some help from other people who have been where you are and who have found a way to stay sober and who are pretty satisfied with how sobriety has turned out.

Would you be willing to go to some meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous?

sorbsauce · Senior Member

I might be.. I have never been to a meeting or have seriously considered it. I just don't know if I could do it. I would feel weird. I feel like there really aren't that many 19 year old alcoholics and I would get judged.

sorbsauce · Senior Member

I am somewhat religious but I don't really like going to public stuff. Like church and things like that. I would rather just pray on my own and have my own belief of God. I might go to AA but the ones around me all take place at some church.

Mr_David · MIP Old Timer

Brilliant introduction, Riley!!! Your story reminds me of an incident that happened back in 1984.

I was finishing off another pitcher of beer, when suddenly -out of the blue- the person sitting next to me starts laughing uncontrollably. My first reaction, did I fart or something? Did I forget to make it to the bathroom on time, or what? As it turns out, it was not me they were laughing at, but the guy on the other end of the bar. Needless to say, I felt embarrassed. I started to rehash all the plausible explanations in my head before the verdict was actually drawn. It was just another silly attempt at justification, even though justification, in this case, was not warranted. I had nothing to be embarrassed about, at all. And neither do you.

They say the first step in solving any problem is admitting you have one. I agree. Alcoholism is arguably the worst social phobia imaginable. It takes a great deal of courage to stand up and be counted. Your testimony is just another phase in that process.

I've heard similar stories, myself, during the last 30 years even as far back as 1984 when I first entered college. You would be hard pressed to find anyone who has not experienced the seedy side of college life, including yours truly. The really embarrassing part came a year or two later when I was forced to leave college early because of my excessive drinking. I literally dropped out twice within a three year span. It took me six years to finish my degree, six of the longest years of my life. And that was only the beginning.

What does impress me, however, is the level of honesty at such a young age. It's amazing, actually, to hear anyone from your age group make such an honest admission. We need more people like you, Riley; young people who are willing to sacrifice a little to gain a lot. Alan Cohen once said: "It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, and to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is hope". I agree entirely. I hope that momentum continues. Onward.

-- Edited by Mr_David on Saturday 2nd of April 2016 11:52:25 PM

leavetherest · MIP Old Timer

Welcome sorbsauce, Some really good suggestions have already been given and I will add my own own thoughts....

I sure hope it doesn't take you decades like it did me, to learn this stuff...and I am still learning that for me to continue drinking is a self-imposed death sentence.

You remind me of myself. That comment you made about people reinforcing the idea the reason why you need to drink could have come from my mouth, as I thought that all the time, and not so very long ago, used other people as a reason to drink again. (BTW, another word for reason is excuse when it comes to alcoholics drinking). No one can tell you if you are an alcoholic--including some high-rated therapist who really needs to take a course in addictions and not attempt to diagnose you.

At 19 you should be having fun and be excited about life and living it to the fullest. It is no fun being drunk and miserable all the time as it sounds like you already know this. Only you can make the choice to change your life. Pray to the God or Higher Power of your understanding for help, guidance and the strength to lead you to the path to a sober and much happier life than the one you are living now.

(And AA meetings are full of young men and women your age--at least in my area and most of the ones I have met have a lot more sense and maturity than the older folks there.)

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Welcome to MIP sorbsauce, ...

Glad you're check'n us out ... if you think your drink'n may be cause'n you problems, then it probably is, and you'd be wise to 'change' some things in your life now while you have a lot of it yet to come ... many of us(me) waited until it nearly cost us our life before deciding that Alcohol, in any form, was control'n our thoughts and activities ... in one therapy session, we were asked to write down exactly what we spent on alcohol each week, then put some time in the equation and actually see what we spent over the period of a year, over 5 years, 10 years, etc. ... plus add all the costs of the accidents, lost jobs, lost relationships, etc. ... and if that didn't convince us that we had a drink'n problem, then we were either lying to ourselves or maybe we didn't ...

I suggest you spend a little time here read'n some past posts, or, my favorite, go to a few AA meet'ns locally and just 'listen' ... you don't have to give your name and it won't cost you noth'n ... just a few minutes of your time, which could end up save'n your life or your whole career ... alcohol will definitely screw up any decent future you have plans for, if you're alcoholic like us ... learn to deal with it now and avoid all the 'pain 'n suffer'n' we went through ...

Glad you're here, God Bless,
Pappy

jimmyjam · Veteran Member

Hello sorbsauce,

It is truly a big step to think about, let alone make a move on whether your drinking patterns are alcoholic or not. For this drunk, it took many years and battles, with my mind mostly, to come to the conclusion that I could not control my drinking. What I first learned was that I had tried just about everything to control my drinking. I went to therapy and felt that what the doctor was doing was just some words out of a book to help me, not really knowing what I was going through. I quit on my own on and off many times, the longest being 4 years, which I thought was quite an accomplishment but I started drinking again sociable but progressed back to chugging warm booze out of a bottle. Now how does that happen? Well what I found was that I was comparing my life and drinking with everybody else instead of identifying if I might have a problem. I would think that no one had the terrible upbringing that I had or had gone through the stuff I went through with my job and family. It came to a point that no matter how many times I would quit, make promises to quit, do relaxing techniques, exercise, read self-help books, counseling, I could not guarantee that when I would pick up a drink that I would have one or drink until I would pass out. I did not drink everyday or get drunk every time I drank. It was the fear of the unknown (am I going to live in constant fear that I might end up a drunk, ashamed of myself and my family being ashamed of me or is there something else?). If you think you might have a problem AA might be a start in finding yourself. I wish you the best life has to offer you and I'm sure I can speak on behalf of everyone in AA, they do to.

MarcLacroix · Senior Member

Well, you've come here and told on yourself.
Obviously you suspect something is wrong with your drinking.
Do normal people drink the way you drink?

Marc

sorbsauce · Senior Member

I know for a fact that the people I know don't drink like I do. I'm afraid of what my friends or family will think if they find out that I am going to AA.

leavetherest · MIP Old Timer

Pappy is right on, sorbsauce. And if you come here, you can read more of his words of experience, strength and hope....almost every...if not every day.

As far as the being afraid of what your friends and family will think if they find out that you are going to AA......try not to worry about that. Heck, there are lawyers, doctors, teachers, even therapists--that's right, there are alcoholic therapists. Some ministers are even alcoholic.

Think of it this way......wouldn't it be horrible for your friends and family to see you kill yourself with alcohol and feel helpless to help you? I even lost some family members and the few friends I had because of my drinking. The few in my life I did have left by the time I got some sense in my head, were relieved when I got into recovery. Anybody that really cares about you and really loves you will offer their understanding and support. The rest????? They don't really matter.

davep12and12 · MIP Old Timer

I was certainly drinking like an alcoholic by the time I was 19. I could sometimes go for a few days without drinking, just enough to help me lie to myself about whether or not I had a problem, but then the REAL issue was what happened when I DID drink - I would often make some kind of 'promise' to myself before I would start drinking again, like tonight I'm only going to drink until 10 PM, or tonight I'm only going to spend $20 on drinks, or tonight I'm only going to drink beer and not any other kind of alcohol and no other kinds of drugs, etc. Whatever. But then, once I had gotten a couple of drinks into me, something would happen - it did not FEEL like "being powerless over alcohol", it just felt like I was 'changing my mind' about what my drinking was going to be like that night. And there was no way to predict ahead of time what my 'new plan' was going to be once I started drinking that day. Sometimes I would end up spending way more money than I had planned to, sometimes I would look back on my drinking the night before and realize that despite all of my 'plans', I had ended up in all kinds of humiliating and/or potentially dangerous situations that I would have never wanted to get into. And then I would make the same dumb 'plans' again and they would go right out the window again as soon as I started drinking again that evening, over and over again....

In my case, I kept trying to figure out some way to control and enjoy my drinking for another few years beyond the age of 19, but it just got worse and worse until everyone knew I had a serious problem, I had ruined by brand-new awesome career, I had lost all of my friends, and I had destroyed my relationships with everyone in my family. I finally 'hit bottom' in my mid-twenties and got willing to find some legitimate, successful way to get sober and stay sober. What worked for me was going to AA meetings and learning from the other people there how they had done it and letting them help me. Because I finally admitted to myself that MY way was not working, and MY way was making me miserable.

By the way, just like you, I was also worried about what people would think about me if they found out I was going to AA. Turns out that when they found out, they were all very relieved and very supportive. Most of them didn't know ALL the gory details about my drinking problem, but they all knew a hell of a lot more about it than I thought they did.

So I've been sober for a long time now, and I can tell you that my life has completely turned around because of my sobriety and AA. All of that stuff I had lost has come back to me, I don't crave alcohol or other drugs, and I feel pretty good about myself and my life because I have some good reasons to.

And don't worry about the fact that meetings happen in churches. That's just a convenient place to rent a room and the meetings are not affiliated with the church. One of the important 'traditions' of AA is that it is not affiliated with any other organizations, including religious organizations.

So waddaya think? If you would like some help finding a good 'first meeting' near you, feel free to give us some general info about where you are (maybe the name of the nearest big city, or if you're in a huge city, maybe narrow it down a bit with some info like 'south end of the city' or something). We can maybe find a link to some local meetings and show you how to find a meeting that you might be more comfortable attending at first, like a meeting especially for new people, or one that isn't in a church or whatever. We're here to help.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

sorbsauce wrote:
I know for a fact that the people I know don't drink like I do. I'm afraid of what my friends or family will think if they find out that I am going to AA.

When all is said and done, it don't matter what others think of you, it only matters what you think of you ... if you feel you are dependent on alcohol, or that you use it as a crutch, then you have a problem and the sooner you get help, the better ... all of us here have 'been there, done that' ...

We are here to help prevent you from fall'n in the deep dark pit called alcoholism ... NO two ways about it, it's pure HELL ... please let us help you ... (we have lost friends here that just had to drink one more time ... and didn't have the strength or desire to stop ... they were good people, but they just allowed alcohol to do their think'n ... and King Alcohol wants us dead ... and sometimes he wins, we lose ...) ...

We want you free of the bondage that alcohol becomes ... you game??? ...

Love ya and God Bless,

Pappy

sorbsauce · Senior Member

I am getting closer and closer to going to a meeting. I am in Marquette Michigan. The only meetings I have found are in churches.

davep12and12 · MIP Old Timer

Here is a link that lists all of the AA meetings in and near Marquette Michigan. Check the list and you'll find quite a few that are not in churches.

http://www.aa-marquettecounty.org/meet.mqt.php

Some are in a Community building, some are in meeting rooms in a hospital, some are in the University Center at NMU, and several of them are at a local "Alano Club".

An Alano Club is a clubhouse-type facility that offers meeting rooms for AA and other types of recovery programs and often has a coffee bar and some social hang out spaces.

But again, don't be concerned about the meetings that are in churches. most of them are in some spare room that the church rents out to various outside organizations and the AA meeting has nothing to do with the church, the meeting just rents the room from the church for an hour once a week.

Notice that some of the meetings in the list say "CLOSED". That doesn't mean the meeting has been closed down, it means that this meeting is especially for people who have a desire to stop drinking, and the meeting is 'closed' to other people (like friends of the person who wants to stop drinking, or somebody working on a paper about alcoholism for a class, etc.). Friends and visitors should go to an OPEN meeting, where anyone is welcome to attend. Since you have a desire to stop drinking, you can go to ANY of these meetings on the list. If you have any questions about any of this, feel free to ask.

I encourage you to get to a few meetings and see what you think. What worked best for me was to get there a few minutes early. Much more comfortable than walking in late after the meeting had started. If it makes you more comfortable to have something to do when you get there, you can ask if they need any help setting up chairs or whatever. And at the end of the meeting, resist the temptation to immediately bolt out the door. Hang around for a few minutes and ask for some information about other meetings, or some AA literature. Ask people if they can recommend some other meetings that they like, and then you can go to those and you'll already see some familiar faces.

Give it a try and see what happens. And please come on back here and tell us how it went. We've all been where you are and we'd like to help.

sorbsauce · Senior Member

Thank you so much. I am considering the NMU one just because I already live on campus. Also the other thing that I am not sure what to do about is I am on the sailing team for my university and they drink a LOT. They say it is part of the tradition and I love sailing but I dont know what to do about that.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

If you do go to some meet'ns, you will find that it is highly recommended you get a sponsor, someone to guide you through the 12 steps ... this is also a person that can help answer questions like you just asked, a person who you can call if you get a little edgy ...

If you are serious about getting back control of your life, then as you complete the steps in AA, you'll find that you will lose the desire to drink at all ... as far as your friends go, you can tell them you have a medical condition that alcohol aggravates, that you think you're allergic to alcohol ... and that you prefer water, or Gatorade or something ... just don't let them shame you into do'n something you know that harms you ... Remember, alcohol changes how you think ... you become unable to make rational decisions when you drink ... the first one is the killer ... because it makes you drink another and another and another ...

try to do the next right thing ... AND get your butt to a meet'n ... it may be THE best decision you've ever made ...

davep12and12 · MIP Old Timer

sorbsauce wrote:
Thank you so much. I am considering the NMU one just because I already live on campus. Also the other thing that I am not sure what to do about is I am on the sailing team for my university and they drink a LOT. They say it is part of the tradition and I love sailing but I dont know what to do about that.

When I was first getting sober I was in a metal band in Los Angeles and as you may guess, there was plenty of drinking in that crowd, too : )

In most cases, we really don't need to go into any details with other people and there's usually no need to explain the whole situation to them. It's none of their business.

Some of the techniques I used when people would offer me a drink were:

1. I would just say 'no thanks'. I was absolutely amazed at how often that solved the problem! They usually just accepted that answer and didn't offer me any more alcohol.

2. Sometimes I would say, 'no, not tonight'. That also worked really well.

3. I sometimes said "no thanks, I've had enough". (Hey, it was true!)

4. There were some times when someone who knew me pretty well noticed that I was no longer drinking and asked me about it, just out of curiosity or concern, and sometimes I would just privately tell them that I didn't like the way alcohol had been affecting me and, at least for now, I was going to not drink. And I asked them to please don't make a big deal about it, and people were always pretty understanding about it.

5. If anybody really gives you a lot of crap about it, or keeps trying to get you to drink, you can politely tell them to fuck off. You don't have to put up with people doing that.

And I just want to point out that the fact that there's a meeting right there on campus probably means there are lots of other people in school with you who are already sober and in AA, so you may be able to meet a bunch of new sober people you can get to know and hang out with.

I hope this helps.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Great 'follow-up' post Dave ... thanks ... well said ...

sorbsauce · Senior Member

Pythonpappy: how do I get a sponsor? Davep112and12 the fuck off thing made me laugh haha. You guys are helping. I see my therapist tomorrow and I will tell her I need to go to AA.

davep12and12 · MIP Old Timer

Thanks, Pythonpappy!

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Hey sorbsauce, ... the best way to get a sponsor that I've found, is to go to a few meet'ns at the same group ... listen to those who share ... if one guy stands out to you as having what you want, good, happy sober life, then after a meet'n, go up and say hey, I'm look'n for a sponsor and would like to ask if you would be my sponsor ... If they say no, it could be they have a few too many sponsees, so don't be discouraged ... ask the next best person you think you'd like guiding you ...

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

I do recommend go'n to a few meet'ns before choosing a sponsor, you want a decent chance of 'getting along' with the guy ... and make sure the guy you choose to ask has a solid sober few years behind him ...

sorbsauce · Senior Member

Thank you very much Pythonpappy. I really appreciate it. I am grateful for all of you. I really am.

leavetherest · MIP Old Timer

I have heard some folks say that one of the reasons some of the meetings are held in churches is because of the low rent as opposed to other locations. Sounds like you are going to a meeting at your school, however, just wanted to mention that in case you want more variety later on.

I hope your sailing team doesn't drink and sail. Like driving, dangerous mix.

For me I could not be around any drinkers especially early in my recovery. Too much temptation. I would be fighting a losing battle. It wouldn't be that I would have trouble coming up with something to say to drinkers --it wouldn't get to that point.....I would be reaching for one, two, three.....My mouth would be watering, the cravings and urges to drink would kick in. Anyone new in recovery that could be in that situation and resist the temptation to drink has a lot more strength and will power than I do. I will suggest that if you do find yourself unable to be around these people without drinking yourself, choose which is most important--sailing or sobriety. It may sound extreme to some; however this is a life and death matter for alcoholics and sometimes there are things we either need to give up or put on hold for awhile until we have some recovery time.

sorbsauce · Senior Member

I completely agree with possibly cutting out sailing leavetherest. As goes for drinking and sailing, we race small two person boats and to almost all of us, sailing is just second nature. I probably will have to 100% cut it out for a while though. Or just go sailing on my own.

sorbsauce · Senior Member

How do you guys feel about Kombucha for alcoholics? My family buys a ton of the stuff and I really like it but it does have traces of alcohol in it. I have found online that some people love it for helping them and some say it makes them crave more alcohol. What are your thoughts?

sorbsauce · Senior Member

Saw my therapist today and told her I think I need to AA. She said that I do not have a problem and said if I do end up going to an AA meeting that I should go to an "OPEN" meeting because her exact words were, if I go to a "CLOSED" meeting that they would have to vote on whether or not to let me in. She said I would probably get turned down because I do not have a problem.

davep12and12 · MIP Old Timer

sorbsauce wrote:
Saw my therapist today and told her I think I need to AA. She said that I do not have a problem and said if I do end up going to an AA meeting that I should go to an "OPEN" meeting because her exact words were, if I go to a "CLOSED" meeting that they would have to vote on whether or not to let me in. She said I would probably get turned down because I do not have a problem.

Your therapist may be great at any number of things, but to be blunt, this person doesn't seem to know much about AA. A 'closed' meeting is for ANYONE who has a desire to stop drinking, and they do not 'vote' on whether someone can attend as long as that person either says they have a desire to stop drinking or says they are an alcoholic. I've been sober for many years and have been to meeting all over the world and have never heard of such a thing as 'voting' to let someone who has a desire to stop drinking attend a meeting.

The "Third Tradition" of AA states clearly and simply: "The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking". That's IT. If you think you have a desire to stop drinking, you can consider yourself a member of AA, and NOBODY in AA has any business saying otherwise, nor would they try to.

It's also odd that a therapist would tell someone they don't have a problem with their drinking, when that person has a history of trying to stop or moderate and has repeatedly been unable to successfully do so, and when that person has made it clear that their drinking is causing them to suffer and they want some relief from this. If that's not "having a problem" with drinking, what ELSE would you call it?

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Hey man, ...

It doesn't sound to me that your 'therapist' understands your 'whole' story here, or that she doesn't really understand alcohol addiction very well ... from your earlier posts, it appears to me that you are keenly aware of the dangers associated with alcohol use and have correctly determined that you are, if not on the brink of full blown alcoholism, then you know you are one step in the door ... and if you simply ignore this, then you have come to know that it is 'highly likely' that your plunge into the abyss that we've been through is luring you even further to the point of no return ... ABSOLUTELY NO ONE CAN SAY WHETHER OR NOT YOU'RE AN ALCOHOLIC, NO ONE BUT 'YOU' ... (although if you're go'n around drunk all the time, we pretty much know the answer ... but the only one that counts, is you) ...

You have been wise to, at the very least, check out some options for yourself ... I can only say that I wish I had paid more attention to my downfall more than I did ... cause the longer you allow yourself to drink, the harder it will be to stop, some find it impossible to stop after a while and go on to very painful deaths ... I've seen it over and over, AND I very nearly became one of those statistics myself ...

We can only make suggestions here ... what you do with your life is up to you ... if you decide to continue to drink like you described above, you are in for a 'hell on Eath the likes of which you've never experienced ... we here beg you to make the right choice ... cause no one should have to go through what we've been through ...

Your Therapist doesn't know the inner workings of AA very well ... a 'closed' is designed for those who have admitted to themselves they are indeed alcoholic and have done step 1 ... "1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol-that our lives had become unmanageable." ... other alcoholics have the ability to see right through you and will know if you are being 'totally honest' with your shares in the meetings or not ... so if you've done step one, you can feel free to go to 'closed' meetings ... they will remind everyone in the meeting that our 'anonymity' is our number one responsibility, meaning I cannot reveal to anyone whether or not you attend meetings or not ... I can say I go to meet'ns, but I cannot say that you go to meet'ns ... hence 'Alcoholics Anonymous' ...

Hope this helps in some small way ...

Take Care and God bless,
Pappy

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Oh, I forgot ... the Kombucha??? ...

Sounds like you can get it with or without alcohol depend'n on it's manufacturing process ... I'd be fine with the non-alcoholic brands ... and the one's that do have alcohol, they're at .5 % or less ... and for most of us, I doubt that would be enough to trigger our alcoholic instincts ... you'd have to damn near drown yourself with the stuff to get even a small buzz, LOL ...

It's kinda like some of us are sensitive to cooking with wine or other spices like Vanilla that has alcohol in them, and some of us have been sober long enough we don't even give it a second thought ... cause at some point in our recovery, the desire to drink alcohol was removed ...

leavetherest · MIP Old Timer

I really believe that it is extremely important for anyone who is in recovery to have the support of people in our lives who we are close to. Whether they are relatives and friends, like you brought up before, or health care professionals who are supposed to be trained in helping us achieve physical and emotional well being. That said, I think you are in for a heavy task seeing someone on a regular basis who continues to try and talk you out of being an alcoholic and tells you such ludicrous stories about AA. I shook my head and rolled my eyes when I read what was said by your therapist. How absurd! I do know that there is so much ignorance about alcoholism out there and unless someone realizes they are an alcoholic, or has someone close to them who is and they become better educated about this disease, then they are going to draw their own conclusions and sometimes their fill-in-the-blank answers are wrong. The more you educate yourself about alcoholism and AA, the less influence others will have on you with their (perhaps) well-intentioned yet ill-informed comments.

I had to do some research on Kombucha as I have never heard of it. There is an article written by a recovering alcoholic and I decided not to post the link here because of the controversy about this product. Some say it tastes like beer, others say it doesn't. It is fermented tea--which you probably know. I also read that it tastes like yeasty-piss water. Hmmmm.....doesn't sound like it is very appealing to me and it sounds like some of the cheap beer I used to drink. (I did read that it is supposed to have some health benefits. So does wine--when it is not consumed by an alcoholic like me.)

As I was reading about Kombucha, I was reminded of the fake beer and wine I used to drink when I was trying to taper down the amount I was drinking. I wasn't ready to quit completely and I thought that if I could at least drink something that tasted like beer or wine I would be able to fool myself into thinking I was drinking the real thing, cut way back on my drinking and if I wasn't able to cut out drinking the real stuff, that maybe it would help me drink like a normal drinker. All that was just my mental game playing bs I did with myself and it didn't work for me. In fact, I got upset that the fake stuff was as expensive as the cheap beer and wine I had been drinking over the years and I wasn't even getting a buzz from it.

sorbsauce · Senior Member

Sorry if I do not seem grateful for you guys responding. I found out that Northern Michigan University actually hosts most of the AA meetings in town. There was an email for the guy who organizes everything so I emailed him. I was pretty hurt when my therapist said I did not have a problem. I know I have a problem and I will go to an AA meeting. I am just nervous but I will in the next week or so. I just have to get myself kind of pumped up to it if you get what I mean. I see my therapist because my father makes me and he will not allow me to switch therapists up here but when I go home at the end of the year I have a very good one. I will work on getting into the flow of going to meetings and I will hold off on getting a sponsor until I go home because there is really no sense of getting one here when I live over 7 hours away.

sorbsauce · Senior Member

I totally lost my thought at the beginning of that one. I just wanted to thank you guys so much for responding and giving me this information. I can tell how committed you are and how much you care about others and I really appreciate it.

davep12and12 · MIP Old Timer

Hey, no problemo, sorbsauce! We just want to make sure you have the same fighting chance that we had to find a solution to your/our situation with alcohol.

I checked that list and I notice that there's an 8 PM meeting tonight at the Alano Club at 1202 S. Front Street, and there are a couple of noon meetings tomorrow, plus another 8 PM meeting at the Alano club tomorrow night. Why not check one out, and come on back here and tell us how it went?

....not sure what you meant when you said 'Northern Michigan University hosts most of the meetings in town". The University may provide a meeting space for a meeting that is on campus property, but the University wouldn't have anything to do with any meetings in any of the other locations. That's just not how AA works - AA is not affiliated with any other organizations, and that includes things like universities as well as things like churches, hospitals, police departments, drunk driving classes, Mothers Against Drunk Drivers, you name it. This is just another one of AA's 'traditions' which help keep AA from getting tangled up in outside controversies involving other organizations and outside politics, and has allowed AA to stay intact and keep functioning over the years. It keeps things simple.

sorbsauce · Senior Member

Alright. Thank you. I will probably go to one tomorrow. I have a lot of homework due tomorrow haha. I will tell you how it goes.

sorbsauce · Senior Member

What does it mean if it says under the meeting it is BB? I was looking at a meeting that starts at 8. At the Alano club. I am also assuming they are one hour meetings?

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Yes, most all meet'ns are 1 hour ... it's best to get there 15 mins early and stick around for a few minutes after just to make friends ... the people may seem a little odd at first, but you'll find out soon enough that we all have this very common thread, alcohol recovery ... this allows us to get closer than most 'best friends' even do ...

It's a little 'unnerving' at first, but soon you'll see where you will 'fit right in' ...

BB means it's a 'Big Book' study meeting, great for beginners ... our Main book for our guide to recovery is called 'Alcoholics Anonymous' also called the 'Big Book' ...

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Oh yeah, you need to pick up a copy of 'Alcoholics Anonymous' at the meeting if you can ... they're about 12 to 15 bucks I think ... or you can get you a 'on-line' version here:

http://www.whytehouse.com/big_book_search/index.asp

By all means read this book ... most of us have over and over and over until it's words of wisdom sunk in ... this is where our recovery began ...

sorbsauce · Senior Member

How can you tell if a meeting is for beginners? I also got picked to go sail at Ohio State for my school and I know that it is always a big party.. I think I will be able to just bring some Gatorade or whatever. I am hoping no one will try to force anything on me. I also hope I can go without being tempted.

davep12and12 · MIP Old Timer

sorbsauce wrote:
How can you tell if a meeting is for beginners? I also got picked to go sail at Ohio State for my school and I know that it is always a big party.. I think I will be able to just bring some Gatorade or whatever. I am hoping no one will try to force anything on me. I also hope I can go without being tempted.

In the "notes" column on that list, you'll see that one or two of them say "Beginner's Group". But I would recommend you just go to several different meetings and see which ones you like, and you might consider including a "beginners group" in your choice of meetings. You'll be just as welcome in all of the others, so please don't think that you should ONLY go to a "beginners group".

The only meetings someone should probably not attend would be things like a meeting specifically listed as a "women's meeting" if the person is a guy, etc. And even then, if it's the only meeting around and you're in serious trouble and need to talk to someone to help you get through the day sober, they'd probably welcome you there, too.

Yeah, those big heavy-drinking social events right when we're trying to first get sober can be difficult. If that event doesn't happen for a while, you could get to several meetings before then, maybe make some new sober contacts there, so you'll have AA people you can call and talk with to help you get through the event. Keep in mind that we do not have to do this alone, and there's no point trying to do this the hard way. You can also do some research into where the event will be, where you will be staying, what the schedule is, so you can find some AA meetings that you can get to during the event and fit them into your schedule.

sorbsauce · Senior Member

I totally did not think about seeing someone while I was there. Thank you for that. I already had an appointment to meet my doctor today for something else but I also tried to quit cold turkey. Well I am having withdrawals and feel sick. He told me to drink but just a little and ween off.

davep12and12 · MIP Old Timer

sorbsauce wrote:
I totally did not think about seeing someone while I was there. Thank you for that. I already had an appointment to meet my doctor today for something else but I also tried to quit cold turkey. Well I am having withdrawals and feel sick. He told me to drink but just a little and ween off.

Yes, quitting cold turkey can lead to some alcohol withdrawal symptoms and these can sometimes be serious, so it's good to do this under a doctor's supervision. No need to feel like this is some kind of 'cheating' or whatever, it is sometimes deemed necessary by a doctor - but of course it also poses the risk that we'll start our cravings and uncontrolled drinking once we get a little alcohol in us, so it still has its risks. Just get to a meeting ASAP anyway and let the folks there know what you are going through. They can help. They have all been through this stuff and they can offer their experience, strength and hope. Go get it.

sorbsauce · Senior Member

I could not find the meeting. The building it says it is in does not exist on google maps and so I am going to miss it and now I feel even worse

davep12and12 · MIP Old Timer

sorbsauce wrote:
I could not find the meeting. The building it says it is in does not exist on google maps and so I am going to miss it and now I feel even worse

Hmmm... don't know if it's possible to help with that issue long distance, but which meeting were you looking for?

... you can also call your local AA hotline and see if someone there can help direct you to the meeting: (906) 249-4430 .

-- Edited by davep12and12 on Monday 4th of April 2016 07:15:04 PM

sorbsauce · Senior Member

The 8pm meeting at the ALANO club. I asked a few friends and none of them have ever heard of it. I dont want to show up late though.

davep12and12 · MIP Old Timer

sorbsauce wrote:
The 8pm meeting at the ALANO club. I asked a few friends and none of them have ever heard of it. I dont want to show up late though.

I checked Google maps and I found the "Southgate Center" at 1202 S. Front Street. Looks like a small run-down "L" shaped shopping center. Did you find the "Southgate Center"?

It should be directly cross the street from a sign for the "Huron Bakery".

It's behind a small old gas station with a dark blue shingled roof.

EDIT - ....yup, on the low blue sign out at the street for the "Southgate Center", there are small square signs for some of the businesses in the Center, and one of them is for the Alano Club.

-- Edited by davep12and12 on Monday 4th of April 2016 07:20:57 PM

-- Edited by davep12and12 on Monday 4th of April 2016 07:23:02 PM

-- Edited by davep12and12 on Monday 4th of April 2016 07:25:02 PM

leavetherest · MIP Old Timer

I checked the Monday night meetings in your area and didn't see any after 8:00 p.m. and it looks like it is after 8:00 your time. Let me see if I can find an online meeting for you .....hang in there....you are definately showing willingness and a desire to quit drinking by continuing to come here as well as trying to attend a meeting and that says so much!!!!

sorbsauce · Senior Member

I couldnt find either places.. I will go to the waters edge church tomorrow at 7pm. I actually looked forward to going tonight. I definitely dont want to show up to my first meeting late

leavetherest · MIP Old Timer

Now, I have never used this site......it may help you, if not, you can always leave it...they said it is no need for "attendees" to use a camera/video--you can just listen in.....one is going on now it looks like...
www.aavideomeetings.com/

leavetherest · MIP Old Timer

Here is another one....
www.aa-intergroup.org/directory_venue.php

sorbsauce · Senior Member

wow thank you. I am listening to it now

davep12and12 · MIP Old Timer

This is a screenshot from GoogleMaps that shows the location of the Alano CLub:

Marquette Alamo screenshot.png

leavetherest · MIP Old Timer

Here is the number for the Intergroup in your area.....if you want you can give them a call and ask them if the meetings are still being held at the location you went to tonight. Sometimes meetings no longer are held at certain locations for one reason or another and the AA Meeting books (we call them When and Where books here) are not updated and the same thing with the online site.

If they are still being held there, ask where the entrance is for the meeting. I know I have been to quite a few and there were no signs letting us know what door/floor, etc. and it took me a good while to locate the meeting room.

It is great you have made plans to go to one tomorrow. It is a good idea to attend as many meetings as you possibly can especially for the first 90 days.

(Darn...forgot to post the number (906)249-4430) Doesn't sound like you need it because of Dave's post :)

-- Edited by leavetherest on Monday 4th of April 2016 07:37:51 PM

sorbsauce · Senior Member

That is incredible. I just looked up the soapy and sons that is on the sign there and was able to find the building. Technology is crazy

leavetherest · MIP Old Timer

WOW Dave! Way to go! Bringing the power of technology right to MIP!

sorbsauce · Senior Member

Isnt that crazy?? I am laughing right now lol

davep12and12 · MIP Old Timer

Yeah I've used GoogleMaps and printed shots of the "street view" to help me find AA meetings all over the world. It is SOOO much easier to find AA in all sorts of crazy places now, compared to what was involved back in the 'dark ages' before the internet.....

leavetherest · MIP Old Timer

That's a first here as far as I know. Pretty soon, we'll each be zipping around with our mouses visiting all the places we can post.

I am going to look up Mrs. Field's cookies places (thinking of ya, Pappy)

Oh yes, reminds me......keep some sweets handy.....strongly suggested for us when we are new in recovery. Really helped me!

leavetherest · MIP Old Timer

It is amazing......when I saw the huge picture--I knew it was you who posted that.....I thought "what on earth has Dave posted????" to myself. LOL. And here I have been using the old google maps to find places. I gotta get with the times.

sorbsauce · Senior Member

sweets? really? haha my doctor told me I was not ready to totally quit. he said i should just put something in a coffee thermos and sip on it slowly all day. and keep putting less and less in the cup. I went cold turkey until about 20 min ago I got some stuff. I was nauseous all morning and got increasingly shaking and dizzy until finally it was hard to walk because I felt so weak.

sorbsauce · Senior Member

the people online here are so nice. I am just listening but yeah

davep12and12 · MIP Old Timer

The feeling of physical weakness and illness will pass. And if you stick with it, you will feel SO much better. That's a promise.

-- Edited by davep12and12 on Monday 4th of April 2016 07:55:50 PM

sorbsauce · Senior Member

He wants me to ween off for a couple days

davep12and12 · MIP Old Timer

sorbsauce wrote:
He wants me to ween off for a couple days

Do exactly what your medical doctor tells you to do. You can still go to meetings while you're following his instructions. That's why "the only requirement for membership is A DESIRE to stop drinking". You don't have to get sober for some length of time before you're entitled to attend.

We know that some people get to AA after they have already stopped, and some people get to AA while they are still in the process of stopping. You're welcome in AA either way, as long as you have a desire to stop drinking. If anybody gives you any grief about it, remind them of this important AA tradition and tell them to go talk to their sponsor about it.

davep12and12 · MIP Old Timer

...Okay, now it's time for me to start getting ready for MY Monday night meeting, so I'll be signing off for now.

Hey sorbsauce, let's all check back in here tomorrow and we can help you make sure you're all set to get to a meeting, okay? Talk soon.

sorbsauce · Senior Member

Sounds good. Thanks davep12and12 talk to you tomorrow.

sorbsauce · Senior Member

Friend came over to talk and she was high as a kite. I kind of lost it and told her we cant be friends anymore and asked her to leave.

leavetherest · MIP Old Timer

I quit cold turkey and I was up to over 20 drinks per day. Very dangerous. I am lucky I didn't wind up with DT's and in the hospital and/or dead. I should have gone to my doctor and listened to him. One of the newcomers in AA I got close to was advised to wean off it......she was unable to --she would cut back, then would call me drunk many times. I had a hard time telling her to call me when she sobered up. There were many a night when we would be on the phone for two hours and more way past midnight. There was really nothing I could tell her that she would listen to or probably even remember the next day. It was extremely difficult and heartbreaking to listen to her....I felt a sense of obligation to be there for her. I think it reminded me so much of myself before I got sober. I would call my mom, my ex and my sister, and I am sure they felt as helpless talking to me while I was that drunk as I did to that woman. And I went over to her house twice when she threatened to kill herself and stayed with her all night one of those nights. This is something I was not trained to do. She said she wanted to be just like me--sober, chairing meetings and very active in AA and she said I was the only one she trusted. She put me on this pedestal and I felt obligated to be there for her whenever she needed me--which turned into almost everyday--drunk or sober. It wore me down. She's fine now and has over a year of sobriety time--chairing meetings and very active in AA. I was the one who went out again. I don't chair meetings anymore--I cannot even chair a "chair". I can tell people in the rooms how to get drunk--not how to stay sober. I didn't know how to follow my own advice I gave to her. It's kinda funny and sad at the same time.

It sounds like you are tougher than me and that is a good thing. You have to protect yourself. Who knows? When you have some sober time under your belt, your friend---if she has a problem with drinking--may wind up being one of the ones you help. And the reason I shared all this with you is that when I got sober and really involved in AA and helping others it not only saved my life, it was my life. But helping others doesn't mean that we have to put our own sobriety at risk and we have to protect ourselves and treat ourselves as if we are taking care of a newborn baby. I think you did an amazing thing when you told your friend that that. It took a lot of courage and strength on your part.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Morn'n Sorbsauce, ...

Hope you got to a meet'n last nite ... or at least are able to make one tonite ... looks like Dave really pulled out all the stops to help you pin-point the place ... wow Dave, that was really neat ... (sorry, I got caught up do'n a lot of outdoor work yesterday and am play'n 'catch-up' right now, LOL) ...

Hey, ltr is right Sorb, about the sweets ... I carried 'hard-candy' in my pocket in early sobriety ... (and a lot of meet'ns there is not only coffee, but sometimes cookies and snacks too ...) ... when I got the urge for a drink back then, I'd pop a piece of candy in my mouth and the sugar immediately calmed my nerves ... long enough for the urge to pass ... (cravings are often due to the lack of sugar when we stop drink'n) ...

Also, AA does not 'advertise' our locations so as to help with 'anonymity' ... so sometimes we have to 'search' the locations out to find them, LOL ...

Also, We are 'self-supporting' and do not accept any outside contributions ... so expect the group to pass a 'basket' for contributions during the meeting ... most groups announce that 'new-comers' are not expected to contribute and/or if you can't, it's not a problem, you're still welcome ... (a lot of us were 'down on our luck' when we came to AA and were flat broke, so you're always welcome ... never let it make you feel bad if you don't have a dollar or two to drop in the basket ... just thought I should mention this so it doesn't catch you 'off guard' ....) ...

sorbsauce · Senior Member

It means a lot that you shared that with me thank you. I just kind of have this mindset now that I cant keep destructive people around me. They are dragging me down with them, no matter how much I want to help them. haha seems like an oxymoron. Yeah I was thinking about that too. I have a change thing in my car with a bunch of quarters so I figured I would take a few dollars of those. I have to run to the store and I am going to be late to an exam but I talked to my professor (I knew already that he was an alcoholic) and he said it is okay if I am late to the exam to go to a noon meeting. So I think I am going to try that.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

That's great man ... oh wow doesn't God work in mysterious ways sometimes, huh? ...

We're with you man, do what you know is the next 'right' thing, even with your 'so-called' friends ... you seem highly aware of the damage that can result of keep'n old friends and habitats ... you're right bright for a kid, LOL ... sorry, it's just I wish I had your 'common sense' when I was your age ... it would have saved me a lot of lifelong pain both mentally and physically ...

davep12and12 · MIP Old Timer

Good morning, Sorbsauce (I'm on the west coast so it's still morning here).

When I'm traveling these days and looking for a new meeting that I've never been to, I make plans to get there at least a half hour early so I can be sure I find the place. I'll have the phone number for the local AA office with me so I can call them if I can't find it, and that way I've still got another 30 minutes for them to help direct me there over the phone.

You're welcome to use my technique, or if you need any help with the meeting today, give us a shout here!

Let us know how it went at the meeting, okay? You'll probably hear a lot of stuff that makes no sense at all at first, and that's fine. Feel free to ask folks after the meeting or ask us here.

sorbsauce · Senior Member

Thanks pappy. I used to try to please everyone around me and it just never worked and that is probably how I got here but I know it was my decision and now I am the only one who can get myself out of this mess. Good morning dave haha I went to my frist meeting and it went well. They thought I was a student from nursing trying to do a report on them during a closed session and I was asked to leave but I explained I wasnt haha. They all welcomed me and originally were going to be discussing the 10th step but they changed it to 1st step for me and everyone told me their stories. They gave me a list of all the local meetings as well as everyones phone numbers and a big book to read. A woman came up to me and said "I am sure you are wondering where the fuck all of the youngins are huh?" Well I was haha she told me that because it was such a nice day out that they were probably coming to a later meeting or just not coming for the day. So because of that I was by far the youngest in the room but they said there would be other people my age at other meetings.

sorbsauce · Senior Member

also how do I change the thing under my name? says I am a veteran and by no means am I haha

davep12and12 · MIP Old Timer

Dude that's awesome. Congrats on getting to your first meeting! So glad to hear how it worked out.

And yeah, you'll find different 'demographics' at different meetings. Maybe a more younger crowd at meetings on or near campus, etc. There are huge numbers of young people in AA, and there are even huge AA conventions run especially by and for young members.

I wouldn't bother changing that 'veteran' thing in your profile. If you think about the crap you've already been through with your drinking, maybe it's kinda accurate : )

So feel free to ask about any of that "step One" stuff if you want, and I'm sure folks around here will be happy to chime in.

And now that you've been to your first meeting, your mission is to just get to the next one. Got one picked out yet?

Db1105 · Senior Member

Welcome Sorbsauce, I started out in the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous one month short of my 18th birthday. By that time I had experienced numerous arrest, mental institutions, overdoses, kicked out of 3 schools. In other words, I was a mess. Even back in 1977, I was welcomed and helped by members of this wonderful fellowship where through the Twelve Steps, I learned how to stop drinking and to grow up. After a few years sober I enrolled in college and did it sober. In fact , I haven't gotten into any trouble or any type of incidents once I sobered up. The only think not drinking has kept me from doing in life is not drink alcohol. Glad to hear you got to a meeting. More information on Alcoholics Anonymous can be found online at; AA.org

sorbsauce · Senior Member

Thanks! Awe haha I will let it be then. 1st baptist church at 7pm tomorrow. I was thinking that one but I am not 100% sure if I want to go to a church one. I know you guys said it isnt affiliated with the church but yeah. Thanks Db1105. That is awesome! Glad you got everything under control. I have started reading the first few pages of the big book. They told me to read through to 164.

Dodsworth · Senior Member

I didn't bother reading the whole thread, so i apologize in advance for missing something or being off the mark. My experience: was in college, getting drunk 3-4 times a week on a 6pck of tall boys and a pint of vodka. I couldn't handle the stuff that happens in life- school, death of a friend, girlfriend, etc...so about my 2nd year of school I crossed a line and started ditching class, got arrested for public intoxication and was put on probation by the school, academic and behavioral. Went to a detox to dry out, stayed sober a couple months and then it got bad. I was 25. I'm 33 now, and have 10 months of continuous sobriety today. It took another 8 years of jails, rehabs, and a lot of soul-crushing lonliness. I know you're drinking a lot now, but you wouldn't believe how bad it gets once you become unable to do anything but drink. I also had been through a lot of crap by the time I had arrived in college. The dark truth is one way or another a real alcoholic has got to be utterly convinced that drinking is death, or worse. Some realize it before others, some don't or just give up. We alcoholics can take a lot of punishment before that day arrives. My best advice or whatever, is even if you're drinking, keep your eyes open for grace and hope. You will find both in an AA meeting. Live in today whatever today looks like. You can have a life without alcohol.

davep12and12 · MIP Old Timer

There's another one tonight at 7 PM at 1210 Presque Isle, also very close to campus like the meeting at the Baptist Church tomorrow.

The meeting tonight is at some place called the "Water's Edge Church Coffee House". Is that a church? A coffee house? I dunno.

But yeah, you don't need to be concerned about meetings located in a church. I've been to meetings in every kind of church/ synagogue/Buddhist temple you can image and a ton of other places too (a fire department, a jail, the back room at a restaurant, a yoga studio, a gay & lesbian community center, on a beach, in a gift shop, on a boat in the middle of a jungle, etc.) and in every case, the meeting was located there just because that's where they could get access to some kind of a space to have the meeting for cheap. The facility providing the space had nothing to do with anything that happened in the meeting. And that's a good thing, because some of those churches probably would have been horrified if they had heard some of the stuff we were talking about! : )

Regarding the AA 'Big Book', those first 164 pages are the original text of the Big Book, written in the 1930s to describe how the first 100 or so members got sober. The language can be a bit peculiar because it has not been changed since it was written, but you get used to it. There is a LOT of info in those 164 pages, and it may be a bit baffling at first. Don't worry about that.

The stories in the back of the book, after page 164, are individual stories of various random members of AA. Some stories are quite old, and some have been added more recently in the newer editions of the book. Reading those is good, too. Kinda like the stories that you heard from the members at your first meeting, or like some of the stuff people have written here.

-- Edited by davep12and12 on Tuesday 5th of April 2016 03:59:51 PM

leavetherest · MIP Old Timer

That is great sorbsauce!!!!! You've been to a meeting, planning another, talking to folks (something which I really tried my best to avoid when new, but it is better to reach out), and you have already gotton a BB and are reading!!! Super news and I am so happy for you and love hearing from you on how you are doing. Keep it up. Your life is going to change so much and you are going to feel so much better, you will not believe it! You are getting a bunch of support here and you should know how much we all care about you. By staying sober you are learning how to care about yourself now.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Congrats on your first meet'n Sorb, ... you have done well 'Grasshopper' ... hang in there, it just keeps get'n better ...

sorbsauce · Senior Member

Thanks Dodsworth. I wanted to do the 7pm meeting today but I had to work. I work at the cafeteria at my school.. Talk about ungrateful people lol. Thank you leavetherest! it feels good. And thank you pappy haha. I am having a little difficulty trying to ween off though. It is hard to say no and that I have had my share for the day. I did buy some candy haha we'll see if that helps.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Just focus on what your real goal is ... if you've had enough drink'n, dig in and work the program, it works when we work it ... but I warn you, if you drag the drink'n on and on, it becomes much harder to quit ... it really all depends on whether or not you've suffered enough yet to really WANT to quit or not ...

Some of us here have drank alcohol most our lives and really should be dead, but for whatever reason, we were given another chance ... We know intimately just how much hell you're in for if you drink anywhere near what we did, and we want you to avoid that pain and suffering at all costs ... we made stay'n sober our #1 priority in living ... and we know all too well, it's your choice, and your's alone on how seriously you take your addiction ...

King Alcohol will wrap his hands around your testicles and squeeze til you cry Uncle and drink again ... we can help you get that 'shield' to fight him off if you stick with us ... then after a while, he'll leave you alone and go on to someone else ... Don't let alcohol control your thoughts and actions ...

leavetherest · MIP Old Timer

Well.....
You did include in the title of your post "Not motivated enough to give up drinking"....
that is really the key to getting sober. Some folks have to get to the point where they lose something dear to them before they have that motivation....their job, family and friends, their home, freedom (when there is an arrest involved which involves drinking). Another way to put it is we have to hit bottom before we are serious about quitting. I thought I had hit mine and was done for good. Evidently, I had not. I would have thought that the hospital visits, losing my marriage and daughter in my life, the criminal record which I obtained because of my drinking, my credit being destroyed, my security and many other horrible things which happened as a direct result of my drinking would have been enough......I had to drink again. Fortunately, I wasn't out long enough to have anything really bad happen other than the fact that I ruined my sobriety time and lost the respect of not only family members and friends I had--I lost the respect of new friends I had made in my AA meetings and on this board. I also lost my self-respect which I am working hard to get back.

I sure hope you don't have to go through what I and many others went through before you are motivated enough to quit. The choice is yours. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. I drank for over 30 years and screwed up most of mine with that poison.

sorbsauce · Senior Member

With me I just knew that I was drinking much more than people around me and when I tried to quit I had horrible withdrawals and thats when my doctor said I need to ween off. My family doesnt know most of it because I live so far away but I cant talk to them about it anyway because they think anything mental is just a choice. They would just tell me to stop drinking and get over it. And other than that I dont have many friends and none of them are close friends. So that being said. I know that continuing drinking would be horrible and would probably end up killing me. I have already been hospitalized for it but I dont want to totally ruin my future. So I just need to focus on that aspect and force myself to keep trying.

leavetherest · MIP Old Timer

That's all any of us can do, sorbsauce, is try. I am so glad you posted today and let us know how you are doing. We get kinda close to people coming on here and care and are concerned. So many come and post a few times and then stop. It is so great when they stick around. Very few do and I hope that you are one of them that does :) You have family here.

-- Edited by leavetherest on Wednesday 6th of April 2016 04:25:08 PM

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

All I can say Sorb, is that I hope you read those 1st 164 pages in the BB and see if you fit what is described in that book, if so, I pray you continue your AA journey to sobriety, it's really a choice at this point ... many of us drank so heavy for so long, it was stop or die, plain and simple ...

We're here for you no matter where you picture yourself fit'n in ...

Love ya man and God Bless,
Pappy

sorbsauce · Senior Member

I look forward to talking to you guys haha. Thanks leavetherest! I only got through the fist few pages. I've been getting slammed with homework. I should have more time to read this weekend. I hope it doesnt totally come to that point pappy but I will do my best to end it here on my own terms.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Well, ... that's a better attitude than I had when I first tried ... stay in touch with us and we'll try to keep you in the 'straight 'n narrow', LOL ...

sorbsauce · Senior Member

Will do!

leavetherest · MIP Old Timer

Once you start reading it, you will no doubt "see" yourself in so many of the pages. It was somewhat comforting to me to know I was not all that unique in my drinking or my thinking.

sorbsauce · Senior Member

I look forward to reading it. I wish the few friends that I had would actually care to learn. They just keep saying to me "just stop drinking" or "it isn't that hard to stay sober."

leavetherest · MIP Old Timer

It is really hard for others to fully understand it. Some may have problems with alcohol themselves, be in denial and really not want to hear about someone else getting sober if they are still wanting to drink. I lost some friends when I quit --the few I had left by the time I did-ha! The neighbors beside us who we were fairly chummy with started treating us very cool. Then, as if to taunt us, the guy hurls his many beer cans into the recycling bin so loudly it makes all kind of noise which we can hear when we are inside. We later found out he was in recovery for a short while. And here I was sharing my day counts with him when I first got sober. Must have irritated the Hell outta the guy when I did that.

davep12and12 · MIP Old Timer

I believe it was Steven Tyler of Aerosmith who said: "Telling an alcoholic to just stop drinking so much is like telling a manic depressive to just cheer up".

If it were that simple, we never would have really had a problem in the first place, and there would never be a need for things like Alcoholics Anonymous to exist.

People who don't have the same problem with drugs and alcohol that people like us had are just not going to understand.

But that's fine, there really is no need for them to understand, what's important for me is that I stay honest with myself so I can understand the truth about what my problem really is, and then follow some examples from others who have found a solution.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

You said it Dave, ... Honesty, total honest is the only way AA worked for me ... didn't like it, wasn't good at it, but damn if it didn't work ... LOL ...

sorbsauce · Senior Member

I could believe that. Some of these guys here drink a TON but they stop during the week or at least wait until 8pm or so. Huh, crazy that your neighbor had a problem as well. I guess I dont really realize how many people around me could be alcoholics.
Well Aerosmith said it right haha. Exactly. So true. I'll be heading to my second meeting ever soon. 8PM at the ALANO club again.

davep12and12 · MIP Old Timer

Yeah I'll be heading over to my regular Wednesday night meeting too.

Tell the folks at the Marquette Alano Club that we all said 'hi' : )