I apologize in advance for this BrutallyHonest comment.
I know it will certainly ruffle some native's feathers..., Anyway, Here goes. :)
If there is any truth at all in the article, that Twat's schedule is insane and it is no surprise her life is unmanageable.
I also have to wonder which amphetamines she is abusing.
"And suddenly I had to surrender in a much deeper way. I couldnt go to myself for a fix even when the fix was the steps. It was really about having faith that I was being taken care even when I couldnt feel a connection to that reality.
A good number of folks hit a spot like this and often it brings on a true spiritual awakening. This particular person seems to have been apply the steps in a psychological way as a lot of people do. Even though the steps incorporate proven psychological principles, they are spiritual in nature. The most common and perhaps frustrating area thia happens is when people take over from God and try and fix their won character defects. This is trying to do the impossible, which is why we leave that job to God.
Likewise some folks view every decision that has to be made as either or. Weigh up the pros and cons and decide. The common decision talked about is deciding whether or not to drink each day. Or it could be deciding a right course of action by also considering the wrong course. Like there is an item of value that does not belong to me, shall I take it - nobody would know, or should I hand it in or leave it where it is.
This is me managing the things that I am not qualified to manage. On the otherhand, when God took over the show, I wake each morning and don't even think about drinking. I just thank God for the new day and enquire as to what is His will for me today. When I see the misplaced item, I hand it in without a second thought. It does't require a debate because I am now in a different manner of living. It's is just the natural thing to do.
Of course He hasn't taken all my character defects and once in a while He lets me indulge and I come unstuck and have to go through the painful business of step 10 immediately if I want to stay sober and not suffer too much from my bad behaviour.
These defects crop up because there are still things I need to learn. Eventually they will become redundant and be taken away.
It is very common for the alcohlic to try and manage their lives like the lady in the article, trying to do the right thing based on our logical view of the world, but without the faith that is so necessary to this way of life. Eventually, I believe we all (real alcoholics, drinking or not) will reach a point where our human resources will fail utterly, and that is when we become open to that life changing spirtual experience.
