My name is Pete. I'm an alcoholic. Going on 72+ hours sober. I've been a daily drinker for about 5 years (only beer). What began as just a few beers for years got really bad the past few months to the point that I need to drink throughout the whole day the past few weeks. I wanted to give up, but the withdrawal symptoms drove me crazy. I tried a few AA meetings, which helped but I still couldn't get over the physical symptoms.
I finally had my wife get me to detox. There was only 1 place available. It turned out to be a nightmare. I thought it would be a normal hospital, but felt like a prison. I know this might be normal for many rehab centers, but they wanted me to commit to a 30 day stay with no access to internet, phone, etc. I couldn't do this with work or mentally. I checked myself out after a day.
Now for the good news. I've been seeing a therapist for the first time in years. Had a bad depression from JH through HS. I lost my mom to cancer at 16 years old. I saw a therapist during those years, but stopped when I got to college. I bottle up tons of emotions about my mom's death for over 20+ years...not to mention losing my faith. Anyway, I finally had a moment of clarity. I was drinking to suppress these emotions, as well as my anger for drinking. My dad and sister have also suffered through bad anxiety/depression and we have a family history of alcoholism. I have a very supportive wife and am finally working through lots of emotions. I've been going to AA meetings everyday and can't wait to go tonight. Still need to find a sponsor, but have been reading the Big Book and learning about the steps.
The big question I have is that I'm an avid runner/cyclist. My training had taken a toll the past few months due to the alcohol. I've never had high blood pressure before, but have had a BP of 140/90 since quitting. From what I've read, high blood pressure due to alcohol abuse tends to go down over time once the person stops drinking. I know the best thing to do is to check with a healthcare professional. I've got a home blood pressure monitor and have been checking throughout the day. My resting heart rate is about normal. Just wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience.
Anyway, it feels great to be in recovery from my alcoholism and depression...even though it's not easy...:)
Thanks for letting me share!
P.S. I'm a writer by trade, so there are going to be typos since we're used to having someone edit our work...:)
Great job on 72 hours.. WE remember thereare two parts to our 1ST STEP.WE admitted were were POWERLESS(the drivng force in our lives is out of control,drinking alcohol)and that our Lives are unmanageable(many of what you have stated and I would presume evem ore in other areas )Recovery can begin when you put down the substance(alcohol)but WE in the program understand our goal is not just abstinence but daaily recovery,in a fit spiritual condition,based on the application of the Program,THE steps ,worked with a sponsor and the application in all areas of our lives..You seem to be on the right trail....stay with it...You are correct ,check with a medical doctor about your BP...I also am an avid road runner and marathoner and at 68 yrs young my sitting pulse is 52 and my BP consistently 108/60 but I have been in daily recovery for a few cups of coffee.WE understand alcoholism does not tend to keep us in either a spiritually or physically fit condition. WE learn to do "wahtever it takes" to remain free from our active addiction..One day at a time is how WE do it,with support and daily work..In support and prayer,let us know how it is going WE are here for each other...Use your Big Book,,but as you realize,face to face is the real deal..And those of us who value sponsorship get the most from the program...Peace on your journey,,miracles will occur daily and being lucid to realize them is a true gift from that Power greater than us...
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
I can only reiterate what mike said and add a couple of things. It seems from experience that when we stratighten out spiritually, we straighten out physically and mentally, so that gives a clue about which area should be a priority. And on the subject of sponsorship, a good sponsor will teach you how to become a sponsor, so I'll take Mike's thought a stage further and say that those who show they understand the value of sponsorship by by becoming sponsors themselves seem to get the most out of the program and, as far as I can see, they seem to have the best chance of obtaining the permanent recovery promised by the book.
Thanks for the advice. I had a good test this afternoon after my ride. I was used to swinging into the local liquor store to grab a few craft brews. I picked up some non-alcoholic beer instead. I still like the taste of beer when I eat pizza, have a brat, etc. Now, it's off to my AA meeting tonight.
Pete, you've got a great advantage in all of this: fitness. You stay off that alcohol, and keep riding and running, your body/mind will heal much quicker than somebody who isn't very active. Like, prolly 10 times faster.
you don't need that fricken poison, anyway. You made the right decision to stop now. Don't ever second-guess your decision. It's the right one.
Welcome to MIP Peter .... and Congrats on 72+ hours sober ... and to Troy for 35 days ...
Great post and replies so far ... I just wanted to add that I had a real bad first experience with Rehab ... I lasted 'bout 3 days before the other nuts there got to me, LOL ... then when I tried it, at a country setting rehab, I didn't want to ever leave ... but insurance, as it was back then, cut me off at about 2 1/2 weeks ... not long enough ...
Anyway, I came to find out that if a person isn't too bad off physically, they can simply start go'n to AA meetings and get all the recovery guidance they need ... A side effect of stopping alcohol abruptly is definitely High blood pressure ... in my last rehab, they really feared I would 'stroke out' before my pressure came down ... at one point it was 280 over somethin ... I could barely walk for the first 3 days, they put me in a wheelchair ...
The length of time it takes for our BP to come down is very dependent on our drink'n pattern of the past ... same with our recovering 'sleep'n' pattern ... some, it takes a few days, others, it takes a few months ... but the main thing is to stop put'n the poison in our bodies ... as soon as we do that, our bodies start recovering from the abuse ...
In AA, we learn to recover not just physically, but spiritually as well .... we learn that we had become spiritually 'bankrupt' ... your plan to get involved with AA and get a sponsor is the best thing you can do right now ... and I hope and pray you'll stick around and listen and learn what it is that is missing from your life and come to love our program and eventually get to where you can help others do the same ... Sobriety is not just a wonderful life, it's the only life for us cause alcoholism is one of the few diseases that is 100% fatal ... unless we get help ...
Love ya and God Bless, Pappy
-- Edited by Pythonpappy on Sunday 15th of November 2015 11:16:54 AM
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Welcome Pete. I didn't get high blood pressure until I'd been sober for 6-7 years, what a kick in the pants. Trying to do everything healthy, eating, working out, but couldn't get away from my bad family history. Anyways, I will tell you my personal experience with non-alcoholic beer. First, it does have alcohol in it, that's why you have to be 21 to purchase it. I went to a Halloween party when I had a whole 3 weeks under my belt, and proceeded to drink 12 O'Doules. Who does that? An alcoholic! The reason it's called non-alcoholic beer is because it's for non-alcoholics. Good luck!
-- Edited by chris on Monday 16th of November 2015 01:51:30 PM
