So I live in a small city but we have a pretty robust AA community. I tried to get involved in service earlier this year by joining an events committee for the roundup but everytime I volunteered to help the person would say great, take my number, and then just get their friend to help. This happened with 3 people. One person finally at the last minute asked if I could help and I did.
Its frustrating because there is a group which includes my ex-boyfriend and now friend who always hang out together and are very involved in service. At the suggestion of my sponsor I stepped back from service work because it was causing me more harm. I chair meetings when I can and do the coffee thing etc. Help clean up after my home group. I can't come early to my home group because I work late that night and just make it on time.
I tried to put my name forth for a service position at my homegroup but members were concerned because I haven't done much service work previous. I told them I couldn't come earlier to help set up or chair due to work. I guess this means I'm resigned to helping clean up after the meeting for the forseeable future.
I'm really frustrated because I came to AA through another 12 step program and am heavily involved in service work there at the group level and above. Its really helped my program and helped me keep the equivalent of sober in that program. I was really hoping to do some service in AA to help me with my sobriety and supplement my program.
This all just happened tonight so I don't want to make rash decisions but service work is really important to my recovery. I'm not sure what to do.. I really loved my homegroup until tonight.
I'm trying to be humble and i know my service work in other programs doesn't count and at other AA meetings but its really frustrating.
Or is there another way I can do service?
any ideas.
I will definately talk to my sponsors about this . I have an AA sponsor and one in the other program who is also an AA member but I wanted to get some members ideas who are outside our little bubble.
You might want to see this as a possible 'blessing in disguise' ... from your own admission, you are heavily involved with service work elsewhere and also do as much as you can in your 'Home Group' here ... I agree with your sponsor, it may be get'n to be a little too much ...
Personally, I'd suggest you be content, for now, with all that your do'n now ... and then in a year or so, take on more if you still feel like it ... there's no rush ... not if others are work'n the positions already ...
Besides, you can come here and help others in your spare time, there's always plenty of work here to do if you really need more of a workload than you already have ...
Love your attitude and God Bless, Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Thanks I do agree it is a blessing. I learned a lot from tonight. i have a lot of gratitude for my other program and the people I'm involved with there. They are very welcoming.
I guess my problem is that I'm very lonely and most of my service work is long distance with the other group because we are the only group in the program for miles around.
I keep hoping I'll find friendships in AA but its not seeming to manifest for me. Whenever I go to meetings I feel disconnected from people and often feel worse than before I went to the meeting.
I too was very heavily involved in service work and feel it really helped me stay sober. My sponsor also told me to cut back/out on things I was doing. Won't get into the "why's?" here, it doesn't matter now.
What does matter is that I sure wish I would have kept doing as much service work as I was doing. I felt important, worthy and better about myself than I had for most all of my life. It gave me a purpose. Once I started cutting things out one by one, I could tell the biggest difference in my attitude, my self-esteem, and my ability to let things roll off my back.
Good luck to you. I wish you were in my area because where I live, although we have a big population and fairly large groups, we don't have enough folks like you, who really want to do service work. Too many people just attend meetings and alot of them don't put their chairs back and leave their coffee cups sitting on the floor. Then they are the ones who gripe when someone hasn't volunteered to do coffee and there is none. I find your post refreshing and encouraging.
Thanks I do agree it is a blessing. I learned a lot from tonight. i have a lot of gratitude for my other program and the people I'm involved with there. They are very welcoming.
I guess my problem is that I'm very lonely and most of my service work is long distance with the other group because we are the only group in the program for miles around.
I keep hoping I'll find friendships in AA but its not seeming to manifest for me. Whenever I go to meetings I feel disconnected from people and often feel worse than before I went to the meeting.
You don't say of you are a real alcoholic, or somone with a different affliction supplementing their recovery with AA. Nothing wrong with that. Lots of non alcoholics attend open AA meetings, but the fact is that AA mebership and, therefore, service positions are open to alcoholics only. Just a thought.
On the other hand, a lot of folk are running around with the idea that the steps and doing a bit of service, like being a secretary or washing dishes is enough to get the full benefits of AA recovery. If the book is anything to go by, this is not true. "Nothing will so much insure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other alcoholics" and "This seemed to prove that intensive work, one alcoholic with another, was vital to permanent recovery."
The big benefit is you don't need anyones permission to sit down with a newcomer and explain the big book. In fact the best way to learn it is to try and explain it to someone else. Who needs a formal service position? There are plenty of newcomers out there who want to know how to recover, and they need your help.
In support of your statement "the best way to learn it is to try and explain it to someone else", I totally agree ... BB and 12 step meetings were one thing, but sitting down with a new-comer was the best ... I started look'n in the book for my examples to them, and thereby learned the BB very well myself ... I can recall many things from the book by memory today, but not as well as others ... I still have to have it within reach ... it's like my warm blanket in the wintertime ...
Great post and God Bless, Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
