Hello everyone,
My name is Mike and I'm an alcoholic.
I just discovered this board today and after reading through many posts I felt this would be a great place to join.
I haven't had a drink in 48 hours but I feel pretty restless and bored - those are red flags for me. There aren't an abundance of meetings in my town and I do not have a car so while I can't get to a meeting tonight I thought I could do something productive and post here.
I had a rough day at university classes today and that's always been a great excuse to drink. I hate that I've become such a creature of habit. I want to feel like I some control again.
I'm not really sure what to say. I'm a little nervous that there are only a couple of meetings a week I can walk to. However, where there's a will there's a way. I'm sure I'll be able to meet some great people who wouldn't mind offering me rides to meetings. I need to be less afraid and ashamed to ask for help from others, I suppose.
Glad you found us here..Great work on 48 hours,,,and WE do this just a day at a time...I would highly suggest making a meeting as soon as you can and seek a sponsor so you can go to work on OUR SOLUTION,,the application of the STEPS,WORKED WITH A SPONSOR in all areas of our lives.In this jouney ,WE find it is necessary to do whatever it takes to keep us from picking up that first substance again(alcohol)..We put down the substance and the recovery begins,but our Goal is recovery through the 12 Steps,and living in a fit spiritual condition each day.If you do not have the Big Book,,I WILL PUT ON A LINK WHERE YOU CAN READ IT ONLINE.We can identify with your feelings and with daily work we reach toward the day when we are no longer controlled by our addiction.When we remember we are Powerless when the driving force in our lives(using alcohol) is out of control and our lives have become completely unmanageable,we make the admission(as you are) the acceptance(you have)and the willingness to change,,our journey moves forward free from devastation of active addiction.WE are here for each other to help in a loving and caring manner,No big I's or little U's just others who are treating their illness a day at a time using the Program and the Solution..In support and prayer.Stick around WE need you....heres the link look through it while you are planning getting to a meeting. http://www.aa.org/
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
Thank you very much Mike!
I found a meeting tomorrow night and I'll take an uber there. No excuses!
If you have a link to the BB that'd be great.
I just need to focus on one day at a time. When it comes to the night time - one hour at a time.
I plan on going to work in the morning, when I get out see a movie and then time it that when it ends the meeting not too far from the theatre will be close to starting.
I would like to get a sponsor and start working the book whenever a sponsor thinks that would be ideal. One of the most frustrating things about this is admitting I have no control over this on my own. I guess that's better than the denial I've been in though.
Thank you again for your encouraging words. It really means a lot.
Don't let go. You made a great start already. Process it further. Read the basic text, the Alcoholics Anonymous book. Study the doctor's opinion. Make certain that you identify your problem. Pg 20 of the book gives a description of various types of drinkers.
Wish you well.
Morn'n Q Mike, ... Welcome to MIP(Miracles In Progress) ...
You've made a BIG decision, and a hard one ... being POWERLESS over alcohol ... I tried so many times to control my drink'n, but could not ... all I had to do is take one drink and I was off to the races ... I wouldn't stop drink'n til I had passed out ... then try to muster up enough strength to go to work ... and many times I couldn't ... I lost a lot of good jobs this way ...
Alcohol controls the way we think and causes us to make irrational decisions that get us in trouble and causes us pain ... and it ALWAYS gets progressively worse, never better, until we can break the chain of addiction ... and your off to a good start by joining us here ...
Love ya brother and God Bless, Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Don't let go. You made a great start already. Process it further. Read the basic text, the Alcoholics Anonymous book. Study the doctor's opinion. Make certain that you identify your problem. Pg 20 of the book gives a description of various types of drinkers. Wish you well.
Hi Mike,
I'm a Mike too. What Gonee wrote above is so important. You can't fix a car until you know what's wrong with it and it's the same with us. Knowing the full implications of our illness is a great motivator. Some folks in AA don't understand that and as a result don't take the action they must take to survive. It's not that they are being difficult, they just don't think they need to go to those lengths because they don't realise the seriousness of their situation.
For an alcoholic of my type, (hopeless) there are only two factors in play, control and choice. In the Doctors Opinion you will find we have an abnormality in the way we process alcohol. Whenever we have alcohol in our system, we develop the phenomenon of craving, a craving we can't control. If we never took the first drink, that wouldn't be a problem, but we have another issue centred in the mind. The obsession of the mind means at certain times we are without defence against the first drink. The most powerful desire to stop is of no avail. We have lost the power of choice in drink.
When I am at a meeting these are the two things I identify with that make me alcoholic, and I listen out for them in peoples shares. It's not about the things we did. Some AAs have led exemplary lives, others get on the wrong side of the law. What we did does not make us alcoholic.
So if you reach the point where you believe you fit the Doctors Opinion, and like us you have lost the power of choice in drink, you may be suffering from an illness that only a spirtual experience can conquer.
Mike, you made a point about starting work on the book when a sponsor thinks the time is right. If you study the book, you might conclude that a good sponsor is going to get you started immediately after any hospitalisation/detox. He will know that we have no totally reliable defence against the first drink until we get busy with the program.
Appendicitus might be a good analogy. It is painful and life threatening just like alcoholism. The treatment is surgery. If the treatment is not carried out at once the appendix may burst with fatal consequences. The doctor has no way of knowing if or when it would burst. Wouldn't you be just a little concerned of the doc suggested you wait a while before having surgery?
Hello again Mike,,,,At the end of the paragrah I wrote there is a LINK...Just click on it.....AA.ORG OR JUST TYPE IN YOURSELF....you can navigate the site ,find meetings around your rea,see the difference types of studies. WE do find FACE-TO FACE the best way to go..Welcome to another day of daily recovery as you keep the substance put down...WE are all Newcomers to each day.....:) Stay close.........:)
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
