Hi everyone......I couldn't find my previous thread about going to my first meeting but I said I would be back after going and so here I am. I went to my first meeting and it was great. They made me feel right at home even asked me some questions. For the first time ever I introduced myself as an alcoholic and knew they would understand me. My family still doesn't support me but that's okay they just don't know what it is like. But they also gave me a 30 day token because I told them that I have been sober for 37 days. I cannot tell you how much that meant to me and how much more it adds to my resolve not to take another drink. I feel like it gave me some accountability. Anyway I will be going there at least two times a week and they gave me a directory of all the meetings around my area which seems like they occur all kinds of different times in case I need to go to one specificallly to keep me from drinking. They told me they didn't know how I got 37 days without having attended a meeting (they called it white knuckling). I can only say by the grace of God and the help of my sponsor. I am grateful that I already have a sponsor and she is also the pastor of my church and I enjoy her church very much. So now I am feeling more optimistic about not drinking. I know I do not have the power to stop on my own but I also know that God can and will help me stay sober. You have also helped me stay sober through the posts I have made and your responses of encouragement. So I am pretty happy with the way it turned. Thanks for letting me share on here.
Hello Barbara.............Thank you for the message of HOPE...Be blessed on your daily journey of freedom from active addiction. WE are responsible for our own recoveries, do whatever it takes daily to attain that goal... Remain in the Solution(application of the STEPS,worked with a sponsor in all areas of your Life...Welcome to another day of FREEDOM.We are all Newcomers to each day
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
Great news. My family (or what was left of it) was about shoving me through the doors to a meeting...at least verbally. Keep it up. You are helping me.
Thanks everyone! I am not too worried about what my family thinks. I'm not sure why they cannot accept that I am an alcoholic. It might be pride or denial or something else entirely. The thing is, this is not about them although it would be nice to have their support in this. But it is about me and the rest of my life which sure looks a whole lot more promising now than it did 37 days ago. I have returned to running which I havent done in years. I plan to go to two meetings a week unless I think I might need more. I am going to meet with my sponsor one day this next week so she can explain some of the steps to me. And I will not drink, one day at a time. Having the chip for 30 days means a lot to me and I don't want to have to give it back, which is one more reason why I will not drink. I feel very hopeful about what AA can do with and for me. It's all about my higher power and that is something that is personal and unique to me and God. I appreciate knowing that there are people like those of you who have written back to me on here, that do know what it is like to be an alcoholic and do know how I am feeling and thinking. I am thankful that someone understands and that is a good place to start. I will keep coming back and reading because this is helpful too. My mother doesn't think I'm an alcoholic because I did not drink from sunrise to sundown and beyond. I told her it is not about that at all. I would think all day about drinking and plan and scheme on how I would get myself some alcohol to drink in the evening so I could pass out and sleep without dreaming or being aware of anything. That was my sole purpose in alcohol. I never enjoyed it. But I did find as the years went on it took more and more to cause me to black out. It's funny to me too, how this enemy can parade as a friend. One thought I had this week was 'I'm not really an alcoholic and I can go and get one bottle to enjoy and I will feel good.' I recognized that right away as a lie because alcohol was my enemy that paraded as a friend. And there are even people who do that. I have had them in my life. So I am grateful to the direction and instructions my higher power is giving me to want and to do. I want to be sober more than anything and I will go to whatever lengths it takes to stay that way. Thanks so much for hearing me and for your supportive posts.
I plan to go to two meetings a week unless I think I might need more. I am going to meet with my sponsor one day this next week so she can explain some of the steps to me. .
Congrats, TH62! If I may suggest, consider this option - try going to more than two meetings a week, especially during these first few months. Perhaps five or six a week. And see how that makes you feel. THEN consider dropping down to less, and see how THAT makes you feel in comparison. I suggest this because many people get a a lot of benefit out of this approach. It helps establish new habits, allows us to meet lots of new sober friends. and gives us a lot of information and experience with the AA fellowship very quickly. You could also ask your sponsor what she suggests, and ask her what worked for her when she was new.
Okay Dave good ideas. They gave me a directory of meetings where I live and around where I live. I was going to go to two because of my husband......he is not accepting that I am an alcoholic. Funny thing is though he was my chief enabler. Don't get me wrong, he is a good man but he likes to be in control. I guess we used to struggle over who was in control. But you are right I might need more than two because every evening the temptation comes around. Last week when he first told me that he didn't think I was an alcoholic, even though he knows how much I have struggled with it for years, I went to buy a bottle. But I really didn't want to lose my dream of sobriety. So I drove to a field instead and contacted my sponsor. She talked with me for some time and I eventually drove to a park and just sat there listening to music. I had resolved that I would not return home until I felt peace about it and the temptation to give up passed. I probably could have used a meeting that day, so that is why I am totally open to suggestion by those of you who have some length of sobriety and have seen this program work in your own lives. I do have to say that everyone at the meeting I went to made me feel right at home. I was so incredibly nervous yesterday that I almost didn't go, but I dug my heels in because I knew I needed to get to that meeting. So I appreciate your advice, and am open to any further suggestions to make my dream of sobriety come true. It's almost evening here again and I am bracing myself for what is to come, and I know they have meetings tonight. So I will see how I do. But whatever it takes I will not go to the store. I know that is not God's will for me. Thanks again.
Good for you, Tf62! And sorry to hear about the rough day you had with the temptations, but you handled it well. And yeah, those are exactly the kinds of days when it would be good to already have a meeting in your schedule for that evening. It makes those kinds of days MUCH easier to deal with.
Regarding what other people think about whether or not we are an alcoholic, in my experience it just wasn't worth giving any effort to trying to debate with people about that, or to try to convince them that AA was very helpful for me. They can think I'm 'not really an alcoholic' or that I 'don't need AA' if they prefer, but I won't be drinking today regardless of what they think, and I'll be going to the meeting regardless of whether they think I need it or not. What they think about it is really just none of my business. And even when these people saw for themselves how much better I felt and how much nicer I was to be around once I had been sober for a while, I didn't even feel the need to say 'I told you so'. We were all just really happy about the fact that I was staying sober.
