I have heard this expression used a few times during shares in meetings usually where someone was sharing that something someone said or did upset them and that meant that they had the same problem that they noticed in someone else. Just wanted to get others' feedback on what they think about that. I don't think I had ever heard it until I got into AA. It is kind of a catchy phrase. It is all over the internet and I am not sure if AA is the start of it or not. Never thought too much about it until this week because I am working on my thinking process(es) and want to be more aware or my reactions. Still too sensitive and jump to conclusions. Or someone will share something which I interpret as mean/nasty (like last night at a meeting). I was so worried that it may have hurt some of the oldtimers in the meeting and I just got mad at that person who shared. I was judging him in my mind and his comment had nothing to do with me. So that "spot it" thing came in my mind and it made me fearful I am like this person.
I have been overly sensitive that way all my life, and frankly I am sick of myself being that way.
It just is kind of scary to me to think that every time I get annoyed at someone it is because I have the same issue. I know that sometimes it is easier to notice others CD's than my own.
-- Edited by hopefulone on Wednesday 16th of September 2015 09:09:29 AM
That is how i learn to live sober was watching my action and learning to change and it is still that way ,it does get better , i just have to take the action ,
The 12 step & GOD has help, progress not perfection ,,i would say you are on the right track and that is a reminder for me .
Once I am accepting of myself as is.... I can spot it and let it be what it is and move on. If not... I spot it... it triggers something in me I have not forgiven/worked steps on and then it bothers me and I focus on others to not look at myself. I still got it... unresolved through the help of a hp. Xxxxhugsxxx
-- Edited by justadrunk on Wednesday 16th of September 2015 03:46:37 PM
__________________
Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
My guess is it came from a treatment centre and was used to help those in early sobriety come to terms with character defects etc. it frequently crosses my mind when I spot something I am not happy about, so it makes me check my motives.
I once spotted a woman being abused by a man in the car park outside the meeting. I went to her assistance,I'm did not abuse her. Sometimes it makes about as much sense a s that child's saying about farting "you smelt it, you dealt it" . Like so much we here in the fellowship, it has to be taken with a grain of salt. Rule 62 and all that.
Fyne....that makes me feel better cause that man said something I took as being really unkind and unnecessary and I have been trying to figure how I am like that.
(OK, alright....this IS an honest program....I do say unkind and unnecessary things myself.. Try to be more conscious of it and make amends, like they suggest we do; however, that he said was REALLY unkind and unnecessary.)
I have also heard "You spot it you got it" from nasty people or angry ones that, rather than invest time to find out why you are upset or bothered by another person....will just come out with that in a sniping way. Like all sayings, it has it's purpose and it's place and is sometimes misused. In the negative way: It is used to say basically "I know you are but what am I?!" like a 2nd grader.
In the positive way, we reflect on it as to how much we are projecting out issues onto others, which does of course happen.
It all needs to be kept in balance. Of course we are going to take some people's inventories. They advertise them in such a way it would be impossible not too. For example, there could be someone in your life acting like a total jerk and when you make that assessment someone could come along and say "you spot it you got it!!!" In that instance, you probably need to watch both your motive for talking about people and who you can trust to do so. Doesn't mean you "got that issue" though. Furthermore, to expect we never talk about others is unrealistic. To label all talking about others as inventory taking and gossip is also unrealistic. Balance.
-- Edited by peecee on Thursday 17th of September 2015 07:00:12 AM
"You Spot it You Got it" ... Now, this is just me, but, I always took this to mean that if I'm to be critical of someone else, I'd better be sure my 'backyard is clean' first ... ... ... else I have NO basis to make my criticism known ... just like when a well known teacher once said, 'those without sin may cast the first stone' ...
After living the best I can in the AA principles(and by those in the Big Big Book), I have learned it best not to sit in 'judgement' of others because it is that judgement by which I, myself, will be judged ...
So, 'if you spot it, you got it' comes up, that means I should do an inventory on myself to ensure I have my own character defects covered and my own principles 'in place' at this time .... which I think is a good thing to do periodically ...
Love you guys and God Bless, Pappy
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
I appreciate everyone's input on my question. I liked reading and learning from them all. And Pappy, thank you for reminding me of the judging others from the Big Big Book. I didn't even think of that. I got a Bible a while back and planned on reading it. Think it's time.
See the paragraph on the "spiritual axiom" in the 12x12 pg 90 (step 10). Also, Carl Jung was Bill W's psychiatrist. Jung introduced the concept of "shadow"....hence we see this philosophy in A.A. :)
Wow! It has been a year since I posted that under my old ID.....and not long before I relapsed. I cannot remember what was said in that meeting that got my feathers all ruffled and am grateful for the forgetfulness.
I have changed since that time. I was probably overreacting about so many things during that time because for months before my relapse I was not in a good place. I no longer believe in the "spot it you got it". I get annoyed at murderers, a certain politician.....it doesn't mean that I am a potential murderer and think the way that person does and it doesn't mean that I am a politician with self-serving agenda. I believe it does mean that we can have human emotions and reactions out of compassion and concern for not only ourselves--for other people as well.
sometimes, the whole character defect thing gets blown out of proportion.
I don't have major character defects. I've always been an honest person. I've always been caring. I never did anything intentionally to harm anybody, physically or emotionally. If I ever said something to offend somebody, or start a physical fight, it was because I was drunk. Not because I had a character defect.
Even drunk, I rarely started trouble with anyone. I was pretty much a "happy" drunk.
I had a drinking problem, not a character problem. But, that being said, since I've been sober, I have noticed little things that I can change about myself to improve as a person.
but, the biggest improvement came when I quit drinking. All the other good stuff just naturally follows.
i also realize that some people DO have major character issues that they need to confront. And adding alcohol to somebody who has character issues is like lighting the fuse on dynamite.
My worst defect is probably saying things to make people laugh, and maybe going a little too far, to the point of being offensive.
And I've worked on that defect : Fuck'em if they can't take a joke.
Yeah....someone told me I had to get rid of particular CD's which even non-alcoholics have....to "get rid" of all of them (if it were even possible...) would make me non-human. I am not saying that there was not and still is not plenty of room for improvement. It is the "MUST GET RID OF...." part which I questioned. Take for instance "Gluttony"....which is one of them my overweight ex-sponsor told me I had to get rid of as well as other things pulled straight from the "deadly sins". Sorry....I just will not give up my 4 or 5 in a row Little Debbie Oatmeal Cream Pies. And if I want to lay around after doing so (sloth), well--so what? It is better than drinking!
My worst CD was that I drank....and like you, I have always been caring. Unlike you, I got a bit rowdy and big-mouthed sometimes when drunk as well as a lot braver. Most of the time with SO's. And about the sense of humor....I don't joke nearly as much as I used to. I used to be like a sitcom....one punch line after the other and that came from growing up with a Dad and brother who told lots of jokes, as well as falling into the role of "class clown" to try and fit in and get people to like me. Now.....I just don't care if people like me anymore. I can still joke sometimes on here and around folks who I am very comfortable around. Otherwise, I am more serious.
And Baba....I think people who really care about you and know you get you and your sense of humor and your quirks and all the rest of the Baba package. The rest of the people?????? Doesn't and really shouldn't matter. That's what I tell myself now and boy! what a difference in how I feel and don't feel these days!
I occasionally think it's my job to "get rid of my character defects". Any time I've tried to rid myself of a defective part of my character I've failed, spectacularly!
Fortunately, AA doesn't even offer me that job. That job belongs to my Higher Power (Steps 6 & 7). My job is to hand them over, then get (real) busy trying to help other people meet their needs. The more a defect occurs, the more it bothers me, the busier I get. That is the same exact way I treated drinking, and that is how I treat Steps 6 & 7.
As for the "you spot it, you got it" idea, it's just a saying. It's been around a VERY long time. Sometimes it's true for me, sometimes it's not. I think the idea is, "If something infuriates you, take a look at your own heart."
Not a universal truth, but good advice.
__________________
"God can move mountains but it helps to bring a shovel!"
