"I don't have a rewind button in my life, but I do have a pause..."
I can't tell you how many times - usually when I'm really mad or hurt - I've said or done things that I've later regretted. But in the heat of the moment when I felt I needed to defend, attack, or justify myself, I have acted in ways that have hurt not only others but myself as well.
When I entered recovery, my sponsor told me that just because I was now sober it didn't mean that I would never be hurt or get angry again. He told me there would still be plenty of times I would want to strike out, but in order to recover I had to become responsible for my actions. "You don't have a rewind button, but you do have a pause" he told me. And then he taught me how to use it.
Practicing restrain of pen and tongue has been one of the most practical things I have learned in recovery. I was taught not to react when upset, but rather to call someone and run my reactions by them first. I can still write that email, text or letter, but I have to show it to my sponsor before I send it. Pausing and praying to my Higher Power always restores my power of choice and allows me to check in with others before I react.
Today I pause, and that often saves me from later wishing I had a rewind button...
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Copyright @ 2015 Michael Z
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
