I have often gone to meetings and seen folks with lots of sobriety time and they looked absolutely miserable. Some would share, some would be quiet. I looked for happy people in the meetings....watched what they did, listened to what they said. I wanted what they had.  I listen to "I" instead of "you" in the shares. I watch for calmness. Someone who is sharing and starts raising their voice, they are exhibiting that they are angry. If they are so darn happy in their sobriety, why are they so damn miserable?  I don't want what they've got.