I was and still am quite surprised when other AAer's ask me my last name. A couple have caught me off guard. We will be talking about what a great meeting we just had or something else and all of a sudden...."What is your last name?"
Is it just me, or is this inappropriate?
I also get questioned about Facebook and why I don't have a FB account. For me, I didn't really get much out of it. I had all these "friends" who weren't really my "friends". I was getting messages from strangers as well as people I hadn't seen or heard from in over 30 years. I was also on it alot when I was drunk and I ended up closing it because I was guilty of exposing all to some of these "strangers" I was just talking about. When I would sober up I would think "Oh no! What did I write to such and such?" So I closed it. And I have no desire to open it again. I don't care to know the latest gossip on such and such. I have my hands full with my own stuff.
I have heard of problems AA'ers have with postings other AA'ers have and even heard of strong disagreements between members--all having to do with FB. And talk about breaking anonymity! I have actually had to tell an AA member that I wasn't interested in other members pictures, profiles, etc. when she felt the need to show me over coffee on her I phone.
I just hope this posting is a reminder to those who use social media that we must be careful not to share other AA members info.
-- Edited by hopefulone on Tuesday 14th of July 2015 02:06:27 PM
The Traditions explain to me why I ought not be identifying myself as an AA member at the level of public media. I also need to respect others by not divulging THEIR membership in AA, even at the personal one-on-one level, since that is THEIR choice to make, not mine.
However, the Traditions don't say that I ought to refrain from divulging my last name to other AA members. Of course we CAN decide not to, but the Traditions aren't telling us to refrain from doing so. My old sponsor explained to me (back in the days before cel phones when people had to use phone books to look up a phone number) that if nobody in AA knew his last name, it could prevent some AA member who was in need from being able to reach him, just as one example of why someone in AA might want to reveal their last name to other AA members at the private one-on-one level. Doing so does not break our anonymity at the level of public media and does not go against the tradition of anonymity.
My sponsor and only a couple of others know my last name. I guess too I have heard of others doing searching online about others to see what they can find--(where they work, live). I am a very private person and really don't want others to know certain info about me.
This is an anonymous program and should be kept that way, thus, the Traditions ... and the only time I divulge my last name is when I develop close personal relationships with those in the program too ... meaning most of my 'home group' ...
the only purpose knowing another's last name serves, is like when I went to the hospital to visit them and had no idea what their last name was ... of course you can't just describe who you're looking for, you have to know the last name ... this happened to me 3 times ... and I left, gifts and cards in hand ... (but those were given later and still received as intended) ...
Then there are cases where a member is, or has been, on local or national news ... they virtually have no anonymity ... some can handle it, some can't ...
Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
