The reason I am able to post this now is because I am on the other side of my hellish journey. I have not had alcohol for over 21 years, however about 3 years ago due to pain I was prescribed Vicodin. I got hooked. I was in a real dilemma. I was frantic, overwhelmed with shame and guilt. How do I go to my meeting with my head down raising my hand saying "I'm on day one". I was told by my previous sponsor I had to change my sobriety date. I desperately called and friend and said maybe I can have an AA date and and NA date, she pointed out to me shamingly no that's not how it works.
I was frantic, I had major depression with suicidal thoughts. How could this happen to me. How can I make it through this. Well with God's help and many tools, counseling, Women for Sobriety, Alanon, good friends I found a way to walk through this nightmare with dignity and respect.
I have chosen to keep my non alcohol date. I no longer say I have over 21 years of sobriety. I now say I have not had a drink for over 21 years. The pain medication was an issue I had to deal with with my doctor and did get off of them. Women for Sobriety does not require you keep track of your time. They leave that up to the individual. Keeping track of time can help others but for others it can lead them into great despair of feeling like a failure.
I am at peace with my journey now. I go to AA once in a great while and mostly my spirituality comes from God, church, Women for Sobriety, Alanon, friend, hikes and many many other things.
I will say this that Father Tom wants shared in his talk. He is a double winner of over 30 years. That if anyone has anything negative to say to me regarding my journey please don't try to fix me as I don't need fixing. If you have a problem with my journey, talk to your sponsor about it, not me.
I have another reason for posting this. If anyone can relate to my situation, know AA is not the only way. AA is a wonderful program. It helped me stay alcohol free. Stay away from "toxic" people in the program. Learn to listen to your own intuition, not your sponsor or anyone elses. Find your own journey.
There's no rules that you have to keep track of your time. Now there are some that may use this as an excuse to drink over and over but for those like me there is an easier softer way as AA would say.
Thanks for sharing so honestly, Lucymae. You brought up some great points. Your solution to the date issue is fine. How you keep track of the days and years is up to you. People do it in different ways. For example, Bill W., co-founder of AA, took LSD several times after he had 24 years sober. But he never changed his AA sobriety date of 12-11-34.
Thanks for relating how other programs are working in your life. It's good for newcomers to know about the various solutions to our addictions. AA works for some, not for others. AA has worked for me. I am fortunate.
Aloha Lucy Mae...I understand also from a different angle. I've had sponsees who took meds on a doctors prescription and got rehooked. They were not partying and/or hanging out with the crowd. The original intent was health. I keep them "in the program".. ((((hugs)))) also a double.
