yet the symptoms are recklessly similar. I rely on the program and my large recovering family too stay sober and to support me as we all do thru problems other than booze. I have been blessed beyond my wildest imagination as a lifetime member of AA. Outside of our program we have other maladies as our elders remind us of and we must listen to our elders because our recovery from alcoholism isn't the cure all for those other problems that arrive. We pay attention to Pappy, not only his sobriety and also to the other struggles he has and how they come about and how he handles them. I am grateful to the elders as now it gets to be my time and I must face a problem which can only partially be handled by our program. I have and am faced with a problem within my brain that I won't handle with a 4th step and my sponsor. I am surrendering to my HP and the medical profession as they attempt to determine what is going on in my head and my brain. This requires the use of our surrender tool..."Abandon yourself to God as you understand God". Will be trusting HP and the VA staff at Tripler General Hospital along with a wife I've never deserved who has my back and a relationship with her higher power more pro-active than mine. LOL She has moxie. I'll let you all know how it comes out...ODAT. Thanks for your love and support. ((((hugs)))))
Jerry, I love you brother ... and I pray whatever it is you're facing, that you'll receive the same support from God that I did ... I know you will ...
Were it not for the AA program restoring my sanity(ok, some of it), I would have not made it through this last medical situation that I found myself in ... you see?, I never knew just how important it was to have the special kind of 'LOVE' in my life that I discovered in AA ... the 'life-long' friends the BB speaks of was something I could not comprehend when I first read about it ... but 2 yrs, after having moved away from my home group, I find that I still have an active line of open communication with my home group brothers and sisters 250 mi. away ... (how many times has a good friend said, 'let's stay in touch'? only to never hear from them again?) ... I went through some painful times recently, some pains are still going to hang around for some time to come ... and when I spent time in meditation, I realized just how much a person's life means to others ... depression started getting me to think bad thoughts, I wanted this, it, to all be over ... but the expressions of support and love from this board and elsewhere comforted me and gave me a desire to beat this thing so I could remain with the ones I love ... (did that make sense to anyone???) ...
Jerry, I feel closer to you than I do my own sister ... and you gotta be 5, maybe 6 thousand mi. away, AND, we've never met face-to-face ... over the years here on MIP, I not only feel the love coming from your posts, but from many of the members here ... I have truly learned and developed an undying love for you all ... which keeps growing stronger by the day ... I have had my heart ripped apart for some that, for their own reasons, could not handle life anymore and decided to end it all by overdosing themselves with their head in the bottle ... I could name names, but that ain't the point ... I took their deaths as a lesson to for me as to what happens when love is not present ...
I thank God to at least come to have known 'love' in my lifetime if nothing else ... as it says in the Big BB, faith, hope, and love are the greatest things in life, but the greatest of these, is Love ... ... ... Today, it is what I live for through sobriety ... there is nothing else so important in my life, absolutely noth'n ...
Jerry, as long as there is love in your life and love for Akua, there is nothing to fear ...
Aloha Kakou to us all here at MIP, God bless, Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Based on your descriptions of the problem, it sounds very serious, JF. One that definitely requires prompt medical attention. AA says that God has abundantly supplied us with fine doctors to treat such problems and that we should not hesitate to seek out those doctors for our physical and mental health.
I understand completely, Jerry. I remember an incident that happened back in the early 90's, around the time of my 31st birthday. My ex-wife, Dianne, and I were finalizing our lengthy divorce settlement, when I was suddenly overcome by a huge wave of emotions. I felt angry, betrayed and utterly disgusted throughout the entire ordeal, and those emotions almost got the best of me. It felt like a ton of bricks had finally been lifted off my shoulders and it was my time to get even. Fortunately, for her, it never happened, despite my best intentions. It was a time in my life when everything 'seemed' normal, even though life was anything but.
I developed a fairly stable routine for a father of 3, even before the pending divorce. I would attend nightly focus groups with my ex-wife, Dianne, and drink beers every weekend with my friend Ron -all under the guise of functionality, or so I thought. Unfortunately, it all went awry back in 1999 when I was stuck down by ten tons of wicked nostalgia.
So what happened? Good question. The details are still rather sketchy, even years later, but the result was more than convincing. I didn't drink, thank God, not because I didn't want to, no, but for reasons unfamiliar at the time. It took me years of searching before I finally realized the horrible truth behind my motivations, and why I acted so carelessly over the past 25 years. I had become a cloned version of my father, bad mannerisms and all, and those behaviors were the reason behind a lot of my grief. If that wasn't bad enough; I started to question my resolve again, even with 5 years of sobriety, and when you combine those elements together you have the makings of a real life drama with or without the alcohol.
Then, it dawned on me: I got sober in the hopes of finding a way to live with myself, not because I expected it to solve my problems or someone else's. When I did, my life improved dramatically. I hope yours does as well. Onward
-- Edited by Mr_David on Saturday 28th of March 2015 11:07:28 PM
In thought and prayer my brother.In the hands of the Master Healer.I will lift you up in my daily office of prayer..Keep us informed of your outcomes..With God ,all things are possible and WE do find that "peace that surpasses all understanding" In God's guidance,grace and mercy.........................
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
Love & Peace to you