Hey everyone. It's me again. So here we go. I didn't drink for 2 weeks then my boyfriend takes me out and asks if I'm ready to drink....Well let's start from the beginning, he wanted me to quit, told me I needed AA. Well I stopped for 2 weeks and then he asks if I'm ready for a drink. In my head I feel, of course I'm ready for a drink but after that first drink I don't want to stop. I don't know what to do. He tells me I need help but then he also brings me liquor. Then when I drink I feel like I'm messed up because I start talking about my feelings and he shuts down. I don't know what to do.
Rayray - If you really attend AA daily and get a sponsor, you will have better guidance and know how to handle these situations. Your boyfriend is uneducated about alcoholism. It sounds like he thinks he can have you be a normal drinker if you just slow down. It doesn't work that way. He doesn't want you do be sober, but doesn't realize you can't drink normally. You would have to really be working AA and accepting step 1 to convey that to him. If he can't handle that you are unable to drink like a non-alcoholic...well, then you have choices to make. I left a long term relationship to get sober and I don't regret it. The relationship centered way too much on alcoholic and it was full of drama and dysfunction. I needed to get sober, grow, let AA be my healing place, work the steps on my own anyhow.
Well I stopped for 2 weeks and then he asks if I'm ready for a drink. In my head I feel, of course I'm ready for a drink but after that first drink I don't want to stop.
You may have heard this before, alcohol is 'cunning, baffling, and powerful' ... I too, struggled in the beginning to stay sober ... I'd start going to AA, take a few days off, tell myself I could get by with just a few drinks and not go get 'plowed' again ... WRONG ... in every case, I was worse than before, not better ... I found the solution to my problem by working the steps in AA ...
Don't think that you have to quit forever, just for today ... then tomorrow, go through the same routine ... but you need the guidance of a sponsor who's done it and can lead you through the steps ... to give yourself the best start possible, try to make 90 meetings in 90 days, get you a sponsor and follow their directions ... to continue to drink for us, means a certain painful death ... and I've experienced what that's like right up passing through death's door, so I know of which I speak ... please listen to those of us here who have walked in your footsteps already ... we can help you beat alcohol if you truly desire to quit and want to learn to love life again ... No B.S. ... ... ...
Love ya and God Bless,
Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Thank you everyone for the support. It helps a lot. I can honestly say I love this board and appreciate all those that donate their time and help. I will keep trying. You all are awesome and deserve so much more for the help that you give others.
And just so you all know, you inspire me. I can honestly say that. I get on this board daily for inspiration and I get that. I love you all. I just wish I had that support here.
it's something we lost the ability to have and care about when we were drink'n ... the AA way of life gives us the ability to once again love others as we could have been doing all this time ... to put someone, something, anything before our old selfish desires of putting ourselves first ... I know for me, and I'm sure most everyone else that's trying to help others here, get the utmost pleasure when we see those that were struggling, come to know the beauty of life without the drink ... it makes the time here and elsewhere all worthwhile ...
Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
The inspiration you feel is he same inspiration I use to keep and stay sober. Use it. I like the feedback you have received and I hope you use it...from the logical that PC uses to the program sayings which have come up the line from those who have come before us. I know that it takes others to keep me sober so that is who I listen to and hang with. Hang with the winners.
Thanks for your post Rayray! This diesase reaches out to all that we have contact with. It's the nature of the diesase. What I've learned is YOU need to do what's right for YOU regardless of what ANYONE else thinks. When you get well, everything else will fall into place the way it should. There's a lot of misunderstanding and uneducated folks out there. Hell, think of when we all first came in? I didn't know anything either. That's why the fellowship, meetings and sponsorship is so important. WE understand one another where others don't.
Keep coming back and sharing with us. It helps US all.
