HI!! I'm new to this site, I have 8 months and 5 days sober today, and I've been through the steps. I raise my hands at meetings when asked if there's anyone with working knowledge of the 12 steps, I listen to women who share to see if they are in need of a sponsor or more support, I actively look for sponsees but I haven't been able to get one yet. What else can I do? I'm feeling a little discouraged though I pray to my HP for his will and direction and guidance. I want to help a woman save her own life while saving my own, but it seems there aren't any newcomers or anyone who is looking. I talk to women after meetings every chance I get. It doesn't cause me to miss the message at the meeting I am attending, but I think about it often. Any suggestions or advice? I had one sponsee but she never contacted me, always my best friend, and she switched fellowships without telling me. I would even say good morning to her and no response. My boyfriend, my sponsor, and anyone in AA I've spoken to said I was probably just a name on a board in a recovery house for her, which sucks but I was told would happen. HELP!! lol
At 5yrs 8 months and 5 days you will see it better.
And at 10yrs 5 months and 5 days you will see what you couldn't see at 5 yrs 8 months and 5 days.
At 20 yrs 8 months and 5 days you will ......... you get the drift.
I didnt see "the drift" until 25 yrs. As The Promises say "We will be amazed before we were are halfway through".
Good work so far. You had one sponsee at only 8 months sober. I daresay you are ahead of most people in AA at that point. Took me about 2-3 years to have a sponsee.
Keep doing what you're doing. Keep learning about AA and the program so you can help your 2nd sponsee when the time comes.
When your ready for a sponsee... you'll know because you'll stop worrying or trying. That stuff gets replaced with faith... and when you naturally exude faith and peace... people will be drawn to it.
Xxxhugsxxx
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Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
Coll, careful what you wish for LOL. Seriously...At 8 months, you are so blessed to be sober and having this great attitude of wanting to give back. My suggestion is to not wait for a sponsee to come along to do service. There are SOOOO many other ways to give back to AA. You can chair meetings, be a secretary, a treasurer, be a GSR, do fundraising for conferences, be on a board for a local clubhouse...
We who are able to put months and years of sobriety time together are blessed, but sadly in the minority. Knowing that, I know that any newcomer sponsee I take on is likely to trail off. It's really up to THEM to bust their butt in AA for their own recovery like I did and like it sounds like you are. Whether you have sponsees or whether they stay sober or not isn't a reflection of your program so much.
So yeah...breathe deep. Find a service commitment and know that you have your whole sober life to do all sorts of wonderful things that give back to others, both in the rooms and out. You will have a richly blessed life if you just stick to this, have faith, and maintain your sobriety. All that is meant to happen (sponsees and whatever else) will fall into place.
Welcome to MIP Coll Faith, ... Glad you're here ...
LOL, I too, was anxious to get my first sponsee ... it took a few months after I started raising my hand as an available sponsor before I got my first sponsee ... let me tell you, they will come along soon enough ... and then you will know the responsibility of leading a person through the recovery process ... and in doing so, you will feel the necessity to come to know the BB and the 12 & 12 inside and out ...
I always said that to learn the AA program, try teaching it to a new-comer ...
Love you and God Bless, Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Yup, to learn the program, teach a newcomer. There seem to be weird rules around sponsoring and some funny ideas on what sponsoring is these days. Yet I learned very quickly that it was essential for me to be actively working with other alcoholics to stay sober. "This seemed to prove that intensive work, one alcoholic with another, was vital to permanent recovery."
I might try dropping the word sponsor, it seems to have a certain amount of baggage attached, and maybe buddy up with a newcomer and ask them if they would be willing to help you go through the program in the big book. Just to read it together and discuss what you find, perhaps meeting up once or twice a week over a coffee. The truth of it is that a person who would do that would be helping your recovery, and you can tell them that. But it doesnt have to be a formal arrangement, no pressure, just two buddies learning about the program.
Doing other types of service is also a good idea although there are often sobriety and other requirements around some of the positions. The best job is probably the dishes, you meet a lot of good AAs at the kitchen sink. But, in my experience, service is not a substitute for one on one work. Step 12 is afterall in the recovery, not the service, side of the triangle. We each need to be working directly with other alcoholics if we want to get the full benefits of the program.
Welcome Coll! Glad to have you here with us. When the Teacher is ready, the students will appear. All WE can do is offer our services to Sponsor someone. The rest is out of our hands. Maybe this is the time to focus on your growth and Spiritual condition.
Keep doing what you're doing and when the time is right it will happen. Yes, be careful what you pray for! I once was in your shoes and pray for Sponsee's and why not me???? Within one week I had 3........ It was overwelming at the time. God will put people in your path in his time. WE just keep moving forward.
Don't be discouraged when you do start Sponsoring, in my experience, very few hang on for the long haul. I've had many come and go. Some stayed sober, some didn't. But, I stayed sober and that's what it's all about. I was taught early on it's not in my power to keep someone sober. My job is to be available and carry the message, not the Alcoholic.
I am coming up to a year and have yet to have a sponsee. I had one person ask me but I had to say no to her because she wasn't prepared to do the things that I had done.
I had a conversation with my own sponsor about not having a sponsee myself and she pointed out that within my home group I have several jobs, have chaired, I speak up, I welcome newcomers, I make time to reach out to other women - I do lots of service in others ways. Outside of A.A I have other commitments; like lots of us I have a young family, I am studying, I work (albeit part time) and I am not in great health and waiting for major surgery. She then told me that I am right where I need to be right now.
I have found we are generally impatient people, we want things to happen yesterday but in recovery, we (try to) learn that things happen when they are supposed to.
Big Congrats on your upcoming Sober BD ... that's a big one ... one I thought I'd never make, but it's been a while now, thank God ... your comments show a very good progress in the AA program ... glad your with us to share your ESH ...
Love ya and God Bless, Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Mikef remonded me that it is our job to carry the message TO the alcoholic, which is a long way from sitting around waiting for them to find us. His suggestion " All WE can do is offer our services to Sponsor someone" is exactly what we should be doing. When I hear someone share who is struggling and has no sponsor I will often approach them after the meeting and offer to help them with the steps. I usually open with " Thanks for your sharing tonight. It sounds like you really need some help with the steps" They often say "yes please" and we begin to develop a relaitionship. Sometimes they start gagging and freeze up, "what? you mean I actually have to do something to get sober, no thanks I like my misery"
It doesn't matter. Our job is to offer to help. Some accept, some dont, some won't do the work, some will and occasionally we get to see a miracle. That part is all in God's hands. Remember Bill's experience. He spent six months offering to help and didn't manage to help anyone, but at the end of it he found he had stayed sober.
Within one week I had 3........ 
It was overwelming at the time. God will put people in your path in his time. WE just keep moving forward.
I was taught early on it's not in my power to keep someone sober. My job is to be available and carry the message, not the Alcoholic.