When people say they are people-pleasers, they're acknowledging that it's a problem.
It's a problem because it reflects a desire to have everybody's acceptance and approval - to be universally liked. But from what we know about human relationships, this is not possible. No matter how hard we work to be pleasant and likeable, some people may still detest us for reasons we cannot understand. When that happens, we should not blame ourselves or step up our efforts to win them over. Our best course is to be cordial to them and to avoid giving offense in any way.
If our own behavior is mature and reasonable, even the people who don't like us will at least respect us. That may be the best we can hope for, and it is certainly far better than shameless people pleasing. In the end, people-pleasers don't please anybody and, as a famous comedian notes about himself, they "get no respect."
I'll try hard to be pleasant and cordial to everyone I meet today. If some people do not respond in the same way, I'll accept this without feeling hurt or betrayed.
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
I too, don't consider 'people-pleasing' a problem in my life (now) ... however, I know a few in the program that have this problem ... they go to great lengths to be accepted by others ... so much so, that they share their ESH in meetings as though they have many sober years behind them when they have much, much less ... they also go out of their way to do stuff to get others to like or accept them, instead of just being themselves ...
When we come to realize that it is impossible to please everyone, then we can make strides in becoming the person we wish to be, for our own self-satisfaction and not FOR the satisfaction of others ...
Glad you're here and God Bless, Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
