I've been going to meetings almost fervently for the past three weeks and really making an effort to get to know people in a way I haven't before. I've been going early and introducing myself to people, and am now being greeted by name and recognized on a regular basis. And I love it. The one issue that I'm facing is to what extent it's okay to ask questions about people. My normal getting-to-know-you routine in most settings is: "Where are you from? What do you do? How do you like _______ ?" Acknowledging that this is AA and not everyone wants to share that information, I'm trying to find a balance between being genuinely interested in people and not wanting to invade their privacy. This may seem like a really dumb and obvious question, but I'm wondering where folks find the line in deciding what details to divulge and what details not to divulge, as well as what to ask and what not to ask. Just putting it out there because I've been asked a couple of times what I do and been nervous about answering. Just a newbie question.
__________________
When every situation which life can offer is turned to the profit of spiritual growth, no situation can really be a bad one.-Paul Brunton
I'm the type alcoholic that had to go back to the suffering a few times ... took me a few years and lots of pain to come and stay ... for me ... I learned to not give out very much info about myself until I had 2 or 3 years sober ... when I became 'confident' that I wanted this way of life and much less likely to relapse, I let down my guard and let people begin to know the real me, where I lived, where I worked, what my hobbies were, etc. ... ... ...
Some old timers announce their full names when sharing cause they no longer care to keep themselves 'anonymous' ... they have been around long enough that most everyone knows most all the details of their past ... nothing left to hide or keep private, so to speak ... I don't do that ... why??? ... cause I feel it may pressure newer members to do that and I don't think that's a good idea ... before or after the meeting is okay perhaps, but not during the meeting ... "anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions" ...
Also, one of our old timers was hospitalized, I went to see him, ... didn't know his last name, and after an hour, I gave up and left ... so ... if you want members of the group to be kept 'up-to-date' if you're ever in an accident and wind up in the hospital, then you gotta let them know your last name ... (and you need to let it be known that it is okay with you to publicize it in the group meetings ...) ...
Did I get off topic ??? ... (big breakfast and I'm ready for a nap, LOL ...)
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
That all makes sense. It's a new and interesting sensation to be in a setting with people who I know so little about, and yet know SO MUCH about as a result of our shared disease and similar experiences. I feel like I know more about the people I've met in meetings two weeks ago than people I have known for a decade, but with whom I have never *really* dug beneath the surface. Going to AA meetings has really helped me understand how much depth there is in people. Anyway, thanks for the thoughts!
-Adam
__________________
When every situation which life can offer is turned to the profit of spiritual growth, no situation can really be a bad one.-Paul Brunton
I think the more you get to know people...And they get to know you.....It may get oddly normal. We're just people you know?. I mean...I've gone to BBQ's...Pizza parlors to watch football games....Out to dinners.....With groups of us....And AA is hardly ever brought up. That leaves a lot of time to talk about....Life. And I have to agree with you....That common bond we share....Both the problem and the solution...Really does bring us closer together.....Moreso for myself than any friendships I'd had before. Pretty amazing.
