Finding a God who likes you

AdamMoz · Senior Member

Finding a God who likes you

Stepchild · MIP Old Timer

For me it came down to forgetting what I thought I knew about God and starting fresh. I know He kept me alive for a reason....And He planted me in AA for a reason. I just built my trust on that. Read the chapter We Agnostics.....Great piece of spiritual writing right there. It's all about letting go of past prejudices.

Our Canadian friend Bob posted this a few weeks back....I like it.

http://aa.activeboard.com/t58090788/how-to-discover-your-higher-power/

myownhell · Veteran Member

When I heard one speaker to tell that when I am doing all these things - cheating, lying, stealing, be on the dark side, God loves me the most, because in that moments I need His love the most, and these are the moments of desperation when we should look out for Him, but these are the moments, too, when we by ourself want to run away from God, thinking that we are not good enough, thinking that we don't deserve to live in light, hand in hand with our Creator.
And the speaker told about Mary Magdalene sculpture from Donatelo - www.bluffton.edu/~sullivanm/italy/florence/duomomuseo/0005.jpg - how dirty is she, how desperate, in all that rags, ugly, carring the scars of bad life .. and he told that this sculpture is our souls - because we are these - we came to God not good-looking, having money, having great life, with amazing families. No .. we come to God desperate, ugly, because of the life we had, beaten, ragged, lost ... And God loves us in these moments the most.

When I heard him (Bob D.) I, for the first time really believed and felt that God loves me the most in my worst moments.

Stepchild · MIP Old Timer

That's awesome MOH. I love it.

myownhell · Veteran Member

Thanks, Stepchild. Now I have more time and can write more. For me the most amazing part of the Program is that I can have personal contact-relationship with my Higher Power. No one can tell me what my Higher Power should be. From my experience I can tell that I could have been dead years ago. Or to have some illness. In A.A. I understood that God saved me and protected me in times when I couldn't protect myself. When I've been liar, when I've stole money, when I've risked my health hunderds times, when I've risked others life, when I've beaten my brother so cruel when he was baby and a little kid, when I've been so brutal to him and scared him, and he even has scares because of me, when I've beaten my mother, when I've pushed my grand-mother, when I've destroyed every relationships that I had, when I was unfaithful and hurted others - God loved me at these times and protected me. He forgave me every single act. I understood in myself that I need someone who can forgive me what I've done. And God forgave me, so I could forgave myself and after that to live on spiritual basis. Now I know that God is not mad at me when I forget to pray at mornings. But now I want to do it, because I feel that I need it. And I am talking all day to my Higher Power as a friend. I startet to learn how to be friend with my HP and to be honest with God. This is amazing for me. God won't gave me more than I can't take. And He is answering my prayers. I am asking for patience - He gives me situation that I have to be patient. And I have diary and I am writing some of my prayers there, because I sometimes forget what I was praying for. But for me personal relationship means that there is no rules with my HP - there is no time, nothing is forbidden. Sometimes I am asking for egoistical things and I know it. But still I am telling God - God, I know that this is selfish, but please if it is Your Will do it. If it is not, teach me how to accept the situation the way it is. Show me, teach me ...

And still what I shared earlier is so much important for me, because when I looked my life, in the moments that I had to be close to Him, I felt like I don't deserve and by myself I walked away. Now in moments when the alcoholism press me and I want to hide myself in dark .. I am running to my HP to be close, to be protected. But it is everyday practice.

AdamMoz · Senior Member

Thanks, you two. Quite a bit.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

The HP of my choice is God, the one taught in the Good Book ... and to me that means I have a 'Heavenly Father' ... and in every sense of the word 'father', He is that to me ... hence I am His 'child' ... and feel the same relationship as a parent would have with their own child (under normal circumstances) ... that means, just as I was 'tolerant' and 'forgiving' with my own sons, God is the same with me ... and I know full well that my actions can make my Father pleased or displeased with me ... again, just as I was with my sons ...

I feel He brings about circumstances to lead us in the direction His will wishes for us ... and it is only through prayer, that I feel close enough to Him to get a sense of His will for me ... well, that and to express my gratitude for all the misery He's brought me through and all the lessons He's taught me ... and for the many things He's blessed me with, like sobriety for sure ...

Wow, great topic, great replies ... thanks ...

Pappy

Part VII · Veteran Member

Hello AdamMoz.

Long time ago I went to a retreat was provided to AA members that were regular attendees to the Lane Cove Steps meeting (1989). It was called "Came to believe ...", a Step 2 retreat that was run over a weekend. This retreat helped my a great deal. Unfortunately it no longer runs.

I still remember how it was run. Here is my recollection of it, it may be of help to you in your own search.

The retreat was organised solely by Frank, an old-timer (34 yrs). He and two others, all AA members, administered the retreat. About thirty AA members attended.

Frank organised the retreat into several exploratory sessions.

The first session was about Step 11 (prayer and meditation) and showed us how to do simple meditation. Then he lead us on a guided meditation for half an hour.
From there on we did a Step 11 exercise after each exploratory session. Each session went for an hour or so.
Second session explored how we, as children, saw our parents as gods.
Third, explored what did we learn about God from school, church, and others. (both second and third sessions also explored how both of these had their shortcomings)
Fourth, we listed all the characteristics we would like our God to have.
Fifth, we shared our findings. It was surprising how nearly everybody had similar characteristics listed.
Sixth, we separated from each other to find an isolated spot to do our own private Step 11. The retreat was on a large property next to a lake. We had a few hours to practice Step 11 to formulate our own new understanding of God.

We were not to share our new understanding with others on the retreat. It was our own personal understanding. As far as I know, we all found this retreat very powerful and enlightening.

This is how I have discovered my new understanding of God (that loves me).

Hope this will help you AdamMoz.

Stepchild · MIP Old Timer

Some great responses you got here Adam. There is a part in the book that talks about the process of finding this power needed to recover. On pages 44 and 45. That chapter I mentioned before.

If a mere code of morals or a better philosophy of life were sufficient to overcome alcoholism, many of us would have recovered long ago. But we found that such codes and philosophies did not save us, no matter how much we tried. We could wish to be moral, we could wish to be philosophically comforted, in fact, we could will these things with all our might, but the needed power wasn't there. Our human resources, as marshalled by the will, were not sufficient; they failed utterly.

Lack of power, that was our dilemma. We had to find a power by which we could live, and it had to be a Power greater than ourselves. Obviously. But where and how were we to find this Power?

Well, that's exactly what this book is about. Its main object is to enable you to find a Power greater than yourself which will solve your problem.

You see....I never knew my problem was lack of power....I just thought I was a drunk. So if the main object of this book is to enable you to find that power.....And the book is a set of clear-cut directions for the steps......I guess it's fair to say....That in going through that process of honestly and thoroughly taking those steps.....You will find that power. That's how it worked for me. And I've seen it work for a lot of other alcoholics. That's all the proof I can offer you.

Stepchild · MIP Old Timer

myownhell wrote:
Now I know that God is not mad at me when I forget to pray at mornings. But now I want to do it, because I feel that I need it. And I am talking all day to my Higher Power as a friend. I startet to learn how to be friend with my HP and to be honest with God. This is amazing for me.

Step 11....

Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

Conscious contact with God....I think you got it MOH. And we can always improve on it. Like making the friendship closer. It is amazing.

-- Edited by Stepchild on Saturday 9th of August 2014 06:48:19 PM

tomsteve · Senior Member

"how did you find a God who likes you and is on your side? How did you get to the point of trusting Him and feeling safe? "

for me it started with one line from the big book. bills story.:
"Why don't you choose your own conception of God?"

then time.
when I feel God is not happy with me that is when I talk to Him. I tell Him how im feeling, ask for forgiveness and mercy, and help to change.

its also important for me to remember im human. I will make mistakes. progress not perfection.

AdamMoz · Senior Member

Thanks again, everyone. It's funny - I thought I had worked steps 1-3 for a very long time. It wasn't until very recently that the reality of step 3 has actually sunk in and become a reality. It's huge.

Mike D · MIP Old Timer

Before I came into A.A., and had worked the Steps, I had a concept of God that I had concocted in my own keen, intellectual, alcoholic mind. (We didn't do church in our family growing up.) That particular God was looking down on me with much displeasure, disdain, and disgust because of the way I lived my life. To say the least, I was an unsatisfactory human being. After I worked the 12 Steps, all that completely changed. As I worked those Steps, the real, and true, unconditional love of God came into plain view for me. The more I saw myself as I really am, the more I saw God as He really is -- our loving Father who loves us with a very extravagant love.

Blessings to all,

Mike D.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Great share Mike, ... loved it ...