Hello I have 8 years of sobriety which is a lot for my area. I cant find a sponsor here and would like to find one online. My original sponsor relapsed 5 years ago. I spent about 2 years upset about this and the past 3 going through people like theres no tomorrow kind of... I would ask someone and they would say I don't have to do anything because ive been sober so long so its not working out very well. is there a good way to find a sponsor online this seems like it will be a good site?
Welcome to MIP and congrats on 8 years! The people here are very supportive. We have a lot of good sobriety on this site, so hang around awhile. Once this holiday wknd. is over, it'll get more active.
Certainly, the decision is between you and whoever you talk to, but I would like to point out that when you're talking about a cyber sponsor, Lord only knows what you're really getting. Remember the saying "some are sicker than others"? I'd be afraid to trust someone I couldn't see face to face, Liljee. As you know, just coming to AA or showing up to post on this board doesn't mean you're going to get what you see here. Some people can post a good post and have another agenda going on entirely. You could even get a man masquerading as a woman. The cyber world just 'is what it is'.
I'd hang in there, and even if you have to go to the next town over to a totally new meeting, you would increase your chances of finding someone with the kind of sobriety that's attractive to you, that you want to share in.
I've been around the block a few times, and I'm not a stranger to how messed up people can be. We don't come to AA because we're well. So I really urge you to pray about this, check out new meetings. Even if it's someone you only see once a month but can talk to on the phone, that would be more trust worthy than an online sponsor you'd find on a forum.
Again, welcome, and keep coming back. Would love to share esh with you!
I understand your problem, and your concerns completely. In this situation, I totally agree with Wren. It's always best to pick someone that you can get to know, face-to-face. But, I would like to ask you, what exactly do you want from a sponsor? Are you wanting someone to help you work the Steps? Or, do you just want a person to talk to when you're having a rough day, or need feedback on various life-situations? It's true that lots of different people want lots of different things from a sponsor.
You've said that you have 8 years of sobriety, and that there isn't anyone locally who has more sober time than you. But, maybe you're focusing too much on sober-time, and not enough on spiritual growth. There can be a big difference between having sober-time in A.A., and having real recovery in A.A. Time does not heal alcoholism, but the 12 Steps do. Times does not cause spiritual growth, but the Steps do. So, in other words, it could be possible that you might find someone with only 3 years of sobriety who has diligently worked the Steps, and have a lot of spiritual growth. Real and true spiritual growth in a person is what makes a good sponsor.
So, I'd like to encourage you to look around in your local area again, and instead of looking for people with more sober-time than you have, look for those who have more spiritual growth than you have. No matter how many years of sobriety they have, they can probably teach you something, and help you to grow spiritually too.
Hope this might possibly help you...and, good luck on your search.
I dont know if Im on the right site. i am a woman with 3 1/2 years of sobriety. I am looking to sponsor. I have had several sponsees but they did not want this program. So, if there is someone I can help here I am. If I am on th wrong site pleasse let me know where I can make myself available Thank you and happy new year
This site has been pretty slow lately, but you never know who you might be able to help - stick around! Are there no meetings in your area or are you just quarantining?
-- Edited by FlyingSquirrel on Saturday 1st of January 2022 08:38:27 PM
