I'd suggest voicing your needs and/or concerns about the program here on the board ... you can use the PM (Private Messaging) feature if you need a more private, (personal) conversation with anyone here ... of course most of us suggest 'face-to-face' sponsorship does work out much better ...

Welcome to MIP ... stick around for more replies to your post ...

God Bless,
Pappy

Why is it hard for you to find one where you are? I noticed from your profile that you live in Texas.....there should be plenty of AA meetings in your area unless you live in a very remote area. Or could it be that you are reluctant to get close to someone in your area? That was my problem. I didn't want to open up to anyone in my meetings for quite a while. Unfortunately, after coming close to going out at different times earlier in my sobriety, I had to do what I had heard others did to help them stay sober....."get a sponsor and work the steps". Had I not done those things, I have no doubt in my mind that I wouldn't be typing this to you on an alcoholics board--I would be drinking now, and probably on my second or third beer or glass of wine by now.

I think having an online sponsor would be very difficult and like I posted before, you really don't know who you are "talking" to. If you go to meetings and listen to the men share you can get a pretty good idea of who is working the program and has what you want. I looked for people who seemed to be happy and were talking about how much AA has done for them....how the Steps have changed their lives and how much their lives had improved because of it. I heard from ones who would share over and over about doom and gloom and not seeing any of the promises "work for them" although they had some long term sobriety. People who talked mainly in the negative and hardly at all in the positive I really didn't want to sponsor me because I was already that way (negative thinking all the time) and really didn't want someone who seemed as or almost as depressed as I was. Of course, people are entitled to and will have days when things don't go the way they would like them. I am referring to ones who never seemed happy....like I was so much of the time before I got a sponsor who is working the program and seems to be very happy being sober and being a part of AA. Oh, and another thing which was not important to me....how financially successful someone is. I have heard several shares which people said it was important for them to find people who were financially "well off"....had good jobs, nicer cars than they themselves had, and dressed fashionably. We would all like to have great jobs and not have to worry about money. However, I am not impressed by money and do not judge a person's value based on how much money they have or what they are wearing. I have lots of clothing myself because I go to lots of yard sales and thrift stores and never pay full retail for any of my clothes. I have purchased some pretty nice clothes for $1 sometimes! So if someone assumes that I am "well off" because of what I wear, they would be making an incorrect assumption of me. And if someone would want me to sponsor them based on how "well off" they think I am, then I am afraid I would not feel like I would want to be their sponsor because their priority is not on staying sober and/or their expectations of the program are not realistic. I have met some people who are struggling financially who just "glow" because they are happy working the program. I have also, on the other hand, met millionaires who are downright miserable and make no qualms about showing it.

Also, it would help to do some service work, such as making coffee, setting up chairs or cleaning up after the meeting. It is a great way for you, as a newcomer, to make friends and get to know people as well as helping others and you will feel useful (I felt useless when I first started AA, and it really turned my thinking about myself around so much once I started doing service work at my meetings. Get the word out that you are looking for a sponsor. However, remember if someone introduces you to one, it is your decision if you want that person to sponsor you and you don't need to feel "obligated". Also, I prayed to my HP, who is God for me, for a sponsor. I think that had more to do with me finding one than anything else.

Sorry so long-winded....just my and you can "take what you want and leave the rest" as goes the AA quote.

Welcome to the board.

BTY