We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it - and stay there, lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove lid again... but also, she will never sit down on a cold one any more. --Mark Twain
"Last night I asked for help, but the person couldn't give it to me. Tonight I'm not going to ask because I'll be refused." Poor us! One person has rejected us, so now we've got the whole world rejecting us. We believe if one person lets us down, everyone else will too.
Such thinking, as negative as it is, can provide safety. If we believe we can't trust anymore, then we won't. But there won't be any growth in this kind of safety. By condemning everyone, we won't see those who want to help.
To find help we may have to ask several people. If a few people turn us away, we shouldn't give up hope. There are many flowers in the field of life, but to pick the best, we need to look at them all.
If I get rejected it doesn't mean I'm a bad person or no one can be trusted. It means I need to take another risk or maybe two.
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
I love reading these, it's so easy throughout recovery to over think or over feel things and take it really personal, still happens to me. I think the biggest thing is the feeling of being different or all alone through life, from my earliest memories to now, there has always been something just a little different and it's quite ok. Being able to embrace and love ourselves when we feel like others don't, won't or can't is paramount in recovery, it doesn't happen all the time but when we can do it it's wonderful. It's the times that we need that outside guidance that we have to keep asking until we find it no matter how many times we get turned down, it's just as important for the person helping us.
Pappy...great post, and reading about the cat brought back the wonderfully funny joke you sent to me about the cat and mice. I wish you would do a posting on the board so others can enjoy it. I was telling another alcoholic it yesterday. Or should I say.....trying to tell it as I couldn't remember it verbatim, however I did remember enough of it and had that alchie rolling with laughter!
