This is my first time posting and would first like to say that I have enjoyed many of the posts on this site. What I have read has both inspired and given me answers on my AA journey. Bless AA and the fellowship. I just got my 5 year chip a couple of weeks ago and feel very thankful for that. I feel compelled to write for several reasons. First, is that this site has given me a lot and I want to respond back with my own experience, strength and hope. Secondly, sometime at my home group, a topic gets a little off track I don't get what I want to say, forget what I want to say or can't find the way I want to say something because I feel under the gun when it's my turn to share. When I do this posting thing I got all the time in the world to choose what I want to say. Enough of the intro., here's the problem: I have an issue with people upsetting me, how to react and determining if my reaction is making me feel more like a doormat or by letting go and letting God do his thing, why do I feel that I'm taking the easy way out? Case in point: Father's day, at my son's house. He has a wonderful BBQ but something is wrong, my daughter is in a shit mood and seems to be argumentative with every conversation. A little background on daughter dearest, she has abused drugs in the past and this behavior was apparent during those times. Yet, her personality when sober can be this way too (anger issues, chip off the old block, continually working on this defect). Anyway, a very heated verbal fight occurs between son and daughter and son tells daughter to "get the fudge out and leave". Now, following the tools which the program has given me, when I get angry I look at what part I took in the situation in the first place. I make my amends and keep my side of the street clean without expecting any amends in return. My gut feeling is to tell my daughter that if something is going on that she would like to talk about, I'm here to listen (which I did before she pulled out of the driveway). I also wanted to tell her that she owed her brother an apology for, what I felt, started the argument(which I didn't) because she felt he put her down and everyone always blames her. I told my son that maybe he could have chose a few different words to tell his sister that she was being a bitch and just drop the subject. My wife and younger son unanimously felt that my daughter was completely at fault. I go back to number 1 son and apologize for inferring that he even think about being wrong for what happened. Hell, it was his house, he put on a wonderful meal and she shrewd it all up and dad, you hurt number 1 sons feelings if you were to place any blame on him. Next day, daughter dearest calls, not to talk about how she is going to handle what happened the day before but talks about other frivolous stuff which gets me because the rest of the family wants answers and probably more importantly an apology. All I want is pease. All I can do is pray while what I really want to do is tell them they are both wrong, clunk their heads together and tell them "you could have had a V8". That's the other thing, no one was drinking (my children respect me that much for going in the program, God bless them). So my emotions are this; I really don't want to make a decision on this yet, I'm getting the nugde from " the little woman" who wants me to prod my daughter into repenting for her evil ways and to analyze whether she's using again. My other emotion is to let go and let Got (feel like an indecisive wuss and let this drag on, for who knows how long,(stubborn family trait) and continue to have my serenity tested. I needed this. Thanks for letting me share.