"The good part of recovery is that you get your feelings back; the bad part is that you get your feelings back."
Ah, the paradox of recovery (one of many). When I was 'out there' I had an easy way of dealing with my feelings - I'd numb them. Unable to feel or even acknowledge them, I'd drift through the complexities of relationships and situations, neither growing nor evolving. In fact I've heard it said that we come into the program emotionally defined by the age we started drinking and using.
So here I was a 37-year-old man with the emotional maturity of a young 16 year old. And here came a bewildering onslaught of FEELINGS. Shame, fear, rage, regret, resentments-the range, depth and color of my feelings were overwhelming. How could I survive?
Over time I learned that my feelings were not going to kill me. I learned that although sometimes painful and unwanted, my feelings were valid and each had something valuable to teach me. Through working the program I developed tools to process them and soon learned to give them the space and respect they deserved. Today my feelings are teachers, and all teachers are welcome.
Please Pass it On!
Copyright @ 2014 Michael Z
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
I'm grateful that I can feel my feelings today like a human being is supposed to be able to. I'm also grateful that I'm now able to reason like a human being should be able to. Yet, perhaps I'm most grateful that I now know the difference between my fleeting emotions and the voice of reason inside me.
