Yeah, ... but just think how fortunate we are to not have to join them!!! ... a life controlled by alcohol simply isn't worth living, the way I see it ...

I simply pray for the ones I come to know and hope they come back before they succumb to this 'fatal' disease ... ...

Zen is the practice of being. It is about being present in our moment-to-moment experience - resonating and attuning to all the parts of ourselves and the world around us without judgment or criticism. This acceptance of the flow of life - the acknowledgement that what is, is - takes us beyond words into experience. Zen is at once the study of self and the letting go of our conditioned self. Zen is like a pure stream of consciousness taking us to the heart of clear seeing in reality - no filters, assumptions, expectations, censors, or interpretations. A Zen approach naturally opens people to the full landscape of their inner world of emotions, feelings, beliefs, values, and the full breadth of human experience. This, in turn, leads to creative ways of perceiving and solving problems, of being alive to our own experience. This ability is at the heart of overcoming addiction.

One day I walked into a 12-step group and said, "Hi, I'm Charlotte and I'm feeling good. Life is going well, I'm excited about getting my first book contract, and I'll probably taper off coming to this group." What is the standard 12-step response? "You've lost your humility. ...You're too excited. ... You should calm down. ... You'll probably relapse any minute." The obvious question that follows is, what is a "recovered" person?

A search of approved addiction literature of A.A. and Al-Anon provided me with no definition of a healthy, mature "recovered" person. One is always an addict, dependent on groups, and always at the brink of relapse if he or she doesn't follow certain directives and trust external authority. It is heresy to say I am recovered - I don't need a group. Personal power, competence, self-reliance, intellect, and happiness are also suspect. Most of all there is no room for questioning - the bedrock of expanding one's mind and developing a set of internalized values that provide an inner sanctuary of personal strength. How is Zen related to Feminism and Empowerment? Because Zen censors nothing and encourages people to know themselves completely, it is inherently empowering. Zen teaches us that we exist beyond the mind as pure essence, as part of the one universal energy. Instead of identifying with our minds, we observe them. Feminism uses the concept of internalized oppression to help people realize that all the stereotypes, rules, and inhibitions have been taught to us or implanted in our minds by social institutions - including our families. These intruders are not our essential self.

Both Zen, and Feminism provide the freedom to explore our vast potential for human experience, emotion, work, play, expression, and creativity. We define ourselves from the inside out by asking, "What feels right to me? What fits with my perceptions, experience and values? What are my talents and strengths? Who am I underneath all the rules, roles, stereotypes, and fears that have been implanted in my mind in an effort to keep me subservient or afraid?" Feminism is also about supporting equality and justice, thereby giving people equal opportunities to develop their potential.

Accepting all human qualities;

Understanding internalized oppression can be a powerful aspect of reducing feelings of shame, alienation, and hopelessness, which undermine our sense of competence and put people at high risk for many addictions. When human qualities such as strength, courage, kindness, intelligence, competence, warmth, passivity, self-expression, nurture, and assertiveness are separated out and assigned to fit with gender and racial stereotypes,
everyone becomes crippled or limited. When we assimilate negative beliefs about ourselves and numb our capacity for affect, expansiveness, and joy, the resulting emptiness, alienation, and self-hatred often fuels anxiety and depression - which puts us at risk for addictive behavior. Being lost in an addiction sometimes feels preferable to feeling unloved, ashamed, rejected, or without hope. Naming and externalizing the oppressive beliefs can point the way toward freeing our minds. This is powerful medicine, especially for people who have been among the least advantaged in our society, constantly barraged with negative limited images about their capacities.Exploring internalized oppression is best done with others who share our histories.

While it is crucial to take responsibility for our lives and avoid using blame as an excuse for not taking action, it can be powerfully affirming to have the support of a peer group that shares our cultural and historical experiences. Some examples from my interviews: An indigenous Maui group in New Zealand was learning their native language, dances, and songs as part of treatment. One program for African-Americans had discussions on the legacy of pain descending from people brought to this country as slaves who were being totally alienated from their families and culture. A Native American group incorporated sweat lodges and other rituals reflecting their indigenous heritage. Gay and lesbian programs provided a safe place to talk about the difficulties of living in a homophobic culture. Women's programs talked about female oppression, sexual abuse, and the need to stay out of violent or dependent relationships.

To bring a Feminist-Zen concept to the addiction field would mean to fit our programs to the needs of people, not fit people into fixed programs. This does not preclude organization and structure, rather it reflects counselors with open, undefended minds who are comfortable with differences - people who do not need to hide behind the role of wise one, teacher, or authority - people who are not afraid of true human contact associated with asking the question, who are you? What do you believe? As a counselor, client, or peers in a recovery group, we come together to explore the many aspects of addiction including our motivation and the survival purpose our addiction once served.

In an empowerment model, addiction is not seen as the enemy, rather as a survival mechanism that was often triggered in childhood. People use addictive behavior to ease pain or to calm down and relax.

Neglected? Eat for comfort. Abused or battered? Use drugs or alcohol to numb the pain. Want to feel important? Deal drugs or seduce someone. Afraid you can't survive without a partner? Hide your power and acquiesce to dull or painful sex. The task of healing from addiction is to validate the positive survival goals of wanting meaning, relatedness, love, and power, then find non-addictive ways to meet those needs. To do this we take the focus off the addictive substance and address the underlying anxiety, depression, abuse, feelings of powerlessness, poverty, and oppression that fuel addictive behavior.

What are we aiming for in recovery?
An empowering treatment program or recovery group would make available all models of recovery, encourage people to define their sobriety, and develop positive coping skills for living in the world. This could be anything from needing physical repair of the body, help with nutrition, healing from childhood trauma, exercise, education, or solving economic problems, parenting, abusive or unhealthy relationships. We would help people develop a discerning mind that asks the questions: Does this work for me? Is it helping me gain a sense of internal strength? Am I becoming more and more able to remain steadfast to my values and beliefs, even in the face of differences? Am I developing skills for living and for authentic relationships? In short, am I developing into a mature human being?

This leads to the question: What are we aiming for in recovery? To simply achieve sobriety or to heal a human being? The two are intertwined. If we don't want to trade in one addiction for another, or for depression, anxiety, frustration, and troubled relationships, then we need to move toward becoming a healthy, functioning adult. An evolved person will be uninterested in addictions because she has a broad repertoire of more interesting, sustaining, pleasurable solutions to life's challenges.

On the right path
Here are some fundamental characteristics of human development that lead to resilience, vitality, inner stability, and peace of mind:

1. We move from reliance on external authority to an internal center of resonance and wisdom based on observation, experimentation, and experience.

2. We bring fascination, curiosity, and interest to all aspects of our lives and to relationships. We are comfortable with differences, and are able to reflect on our own feelings, thoughts, and emotional reactions.

3. We take personal responsibility for our internal experience - we realize we create our own feelings of anger, contempt, and judgments with our demands that situations and people be different than they are. We cease blaming or making up excuses and reasons for our problems.

4. We see situations and people as they truly are and make our decisions based on current reality, not our hopes that people will change.

5. We become increasingly able to attune and resonate with our internal world - including our thoughts, feelings, and emotions. This ability to go deeply within ourselves decreases our need for either disassociation or external stimulation to relieve emptiness and boredom.

6. We realize that we are not our "minds," we are not all the teachings that have been put there. We exist beyond these teaching as essence.

7. We develop the will to do the things we know will help us feel stronger, healthier, more alive, and connected to others.

8. We develop the ability to self-soothe and calm ourselves when we are alone or with other people.

9. Our living becomes more congruent with our beliefs.

10. Our relationships become more authentic, trusting, open, and valued.

11. We are able to give and receive care, friendship, and support.

12. We accept the ever-changing nature of all life.The challenge of empowerment.

Living without a fixed belief system, goal, or agenda is terrifying to the ego-conditioned mind, that equates thoughts with Self. "If I recovered using the 12 steps then it should work for everyone. ... and if it doesn't, someone is wrong ... but certainly not me." The ego wants to anchor itself to rules, beliefs, concepts, and expectations, then measure others by its standards. This keeps life simple - we fit people into boxes then relate to them from the one-up or distant position. Yet the freedom to truly know and connect with each other comes when we give up any fixed beliefs of what should happen. The primary question to ask is, "Does it work? When, how, and for whom?"

This introduces elements of inquisitiveness, fascination, experimentation, and reflection which bring vitality, color, variety and expressiveness to life. We need to open ourselves to the breadth of human emotions, play with ideas, experiment, and discard whatever doesn't work. This gives us a powerful antidote to addiction, which thrives on emptiness, anxiety, fear, boredom, and restlessness. Our inner world becomes dynamic and alive - we become friends with all parts of ourselves.

This greatly lessens the need to use addictive substances, destructive behaviors, or to escape from emotions and feelings. This empowerment approach needs to be seen from a developmental perspective. Someone in early stages of recovery may need more structured guidance, but even then should be supported in self reflection and tapping into their internal world of ideas, feelings, and intelligence.

Developing a richer inner landscape
I have heard many addiction counselors say that when someone is coming into recovery, they must be told what to do because they are so distraught they cannot think for themselves. However, people can and do think for themselves when someone believes they can. It is a process that takes time, but it is the direction we need to take. When we ask, "What do you think?" or "What feels right to you?" we help a person develop a richer inner landscape that is at the heart of recovery. When people remain in the thrall of other's ideas and beliefs, they are thwarted in their human development.

Authentic relationships are a powerful antidote to addiction because they are a primary healer of anxiety. They soothe, nurture, and bridge feelings of alienation and separateness, thereby offering us a profound means to lower uneasiness and stress. They also require some of the developmental abilities listed previously in this article, namely that we are receptive, open-minded, undefended and comfortable with differences.

When we create a deep level of resonance with another human being, something deep within us is eased and comforted. Empowerment and feminism are based on love, not fear, expansiveness, not contraction. While fear may jump-start people into recovery, only love has the power to heal. An empowerment approach encourages people to break through limitations, enjoy their talents and strengths, use their rational mind as an ally in healing and allow themselves to experience joy. While it is crucial to acknowledge the negative power of addiction, we need not permanently reduce the miracle of human existence to limiting labels such as "addict," or "codependent." We are multifaceted human beings possessing the power to go far beyond the scope of addiction or dependency.

The path of empowerment is not one of quick fixes, pat statements, and simple solutions, but rather it is a process that involves attunement to self, openness to change, and constant re-evaluation of one's way of being in the world. Listening within and allowing our words to rise from an internal stillness is the key to inner resonance and attunement. This is difficult for people with a history of childhood or adult trauma.Trauma often leads to concrete, all-or-nothing thinking with a limited range of responses to stress - usually, frustration, anger, withdrawal, and helplessness. The inner world of feelings and affect have been disowned, denied, diminished, or disconnected. We often have distorted reactions to current situations. Thus it is crucial that any model of recovery, and anyone working with addicted people, help facilitate the development of self-reflection, the capacity to tolerate a wide range of emotions (including joy and frustration), and the ability to bring themselves into current reality. We ask the questions, "Have you thought about ways to solve the problem? What helps you calm yourself down? What will it take to motivate you to do what you need to do?" People who are habituated to accepting the dictums of authoritarian parents and teachers may resist thinking for themselves, but it is a necessary step if they are to cease their dependent behavior, feel safe within themselves, and develop a capacity for handling life's challenges. We do harm when we offer magic formulas.

From hundreds of my interviews it became clear, a thousand times over, that people develop addictions for many reasons, and heal in different ways. As you read these steps, remember that models and concepts are just that - models and concepts. They are words and ideas, but they are not truths, artifacts, or fixed objects. Just as the menu is not the meal, the 12-steps are not recovery, neither are the thirteen steps of Women for Sobriety, or the 16 empowerment steps I have put together. They are ideas about recovery. They are words written by people reflecting their observations and experiences. So take these 16 steps, experiment with them, change them, skip them, or write your own. Live in the heart in your own life.

16 steps for discovery and empowerment
A suggested Group Opening from Many Roads, One Journey: We gather together to support each other in healing from addiction. We encourage each person to find their own power, intelligence, and strengths. We are here to support each other, but we do not presume to know what is best for another. We realize that all people unfold in their own way and their own time. We learn from each other and draw strength from seeing the courage of others, yet we keep the focus on ourselves. We listen to each other's pain, but we also bond in power and joy and encourage everyone to take the necessary steps to live with respect and meaning in their lives. We are open to all possibilities for healing and finding our internal wisdom and power. Yes, we can!

1A.We affirm we have the power to take charge of our lives and stop being dependent on substances or other people for our self-esteem and security.

1B. Alternative: We admit we were out of control with/powerless over _________ yet have the power to take charge of our lives and stop being dependent on substances or other people for our self-esteem and security.

2. (This is a new version of this step) We come to believe that we have the ability to develop our inner resources through a process of learning, exploration, daily practice, diligence, self reflection, and supportive relationships with others.

3.We make a decision to become our authentic selves and trust in the healing power of the truth.

4.We examine our beliefs, addictions, and dependent behavior in the context of living in a hierarchical, patriarchal culture.

5.We share with another person all the things inside of us for which we feel shame and guilt.

6.We affirm and enjoy our strengths, talents, and creativity.

7.We become willing to let go of guilt, shame, and any behavior that keeps us from accepting ourselves and others.

8.We make a list of people we have harmed and people who have harmed us, and take steps to clear out negative feelings by making amends and sharing our grievances in a respectful way.

9.We express love and gratitude to others, and increasingly appreciate the wonder of life and the blessings we do have.

10.We continue to trust our reality and daily affirm that we see what we see, we know what we know and we feel what we feel.

11.We promptly acknowledge mistakes and make amends when appropriate, but we do not say we are sorry for things we have not done and we do not cover up, analyze, or take responsibility for the shortcomings of others.

12.We seek out situations, jobs, and people who affirm our intelligence, perceptions, and self-worth and avoid situations or people who are hurtful, harmful, or demeaning to us.

13.We take steps to heal our physical bodies, organize our lives, reduce stress, and have fun.

14. We seek to find our inward calling, and develop the will and wisdom to follow it.

15. We accept that change, loss, death, and re-birth are part of the natural flow of life.

16. We grow in awareness that we are interrelated with all living things, and we contribute to restoring peace and balance on the planet.

I took a short break from posting and boy, I sure have missed doing so!

I couldn't believe it was just in May that I posted the above. I feel compelled to respond in case any newcomers visit this site just to share my personal ESH (experience, strength and hope)....

I used to think that I could have the power within myself to overcome addiction, if I could redo the last year+ of my experiences in AA, I would not change a thing (except for maybe having some more maturity and exercise love and tolerance more in certain matters, however, I feel like that will come in time and with prayer...). I am quick to admit and not ashamed to admit that I was indeed powerless over alcohol. AA saved my life!

I did quickly skim over the above posting. I didn't feel the need for reading it in its entirety because I love Alcoholics Anonymous. IMO, it is just another "softer" approach to me. Before I was in the program it was all about me. I was the most selfish person I knew and I didn't care enough about others to be concerned about them. I did try different "approaches" to stop my drinking....cutting down my drinking (big joke--that was impossible for me!), having someone else keep my credit card and keeping no cash (Ha! I stole money from the ashtray in the car as well as my bf's wallet when he was sleeping or left it on the dresser!), not going to bars and places that served alcohol (so I became isolated and walked to the nearby 7-11, CVS, gas station, and ABC stores to drink my stash at home and became more isolated than ever. The only "friends" I thought I had were the cashiers who sold it to me--many of whom I would share my personal stories of my drama filled life openly to while counting out my pennies, nickels and dimes for many of my purchases, despite hearing impatient people waiting in line behind me voice their disapproval!). I have read dozens of books about empowerment and self-healing and not one of them worked for me. I probably was drinking while I was reading most of them! It is only by being in AA and working this program that has caused me to not drink for this long. I love the meetings where I can, for the first time as long as I can remember, actually want to be around people when I haven't had to drink before being around them. I love the "coming together", the smiles the shares of people who were helpless and felt hopeless until they got into AA. It is through AA that I finally feel like I am a worthwhile person, my life now has meaning and instead of living in a drunken self-absorbed tiny little world like I did, the world has opened up and become so much larger and I feel like a different person because I am different. I now have a faith in God which disappeared for years. I feel a peace in my mind and heart that I don't remember having ever felt in my life--even before I was drinking. I carried around a ton of baggage from the past--resentments which I went through every day, several times a day, which I no longer have and it is because of the step program in AA. I felt a ton of guilt--everyday throughout the day, which went away when I made amends. I have come to this board to read the experience, strength and hope of other recovering alcoholics in AA. I found this site when I searched "Alcoholics Anonymous Message Boards" and that is what I am interested in, the program of AA. There are plenty of other sites I can go to (and did earlier in my sobriety) to try and find a different approach so I wouldn't have to do the work which is required in AA to stay sober. I put it off for too long. I am very grateful I did get a sponsor, worked the steps (and continue to do so) and can help other alcoholics. My sobriety is a gift from God. Helping others in this program is a gift from God and I will continue to do so. It is my opinion, that had I been in any other "recovery" program to try and get sober, the focus would still only be on myself and instead of being on this site typing this,  I would be drinking now. In AA it is not just about me anymore--in fact, it never was and never should be all about me. I don't think that is God's will for me to live my life being so self-absorbed and not use my experiences to help others. I am grateful to Alcoholics Anonymous, the fellowship of AA, and the original "step" program, which is the 12 Steps of AA and I have no desire to change what is working for me and/or to work a re-done version of the AA Steps. I love all the steps however, I really love the 12th Step....the spiritual awakening.....carrying the message to other alcoholics...most of all. That is the step where I can take what I learned from working the other steps and have the capability to help other newcomers and with God and AA's help--save lives. And it is two-fold--I cannot drink as long as I am trying to help others stay sober! If I do want to drink, I need to examine what I am doing wrong. I know it is because I am not working the program....I'm getting back into a state of being self-absorbed, feeling sorry for something that happened possible.  I am not praying enough or not helping others enough. I am carrying a resentment and or have some guilt for something I did and I need to make amends right away for it so I don't carry it with me. It all boils down to the fact that I am not working the program....and just like I took a "break" from this board, if I take a "break" from the program, I may drink again and there are no breaks in AA. In order for me to maintain my sobriety, it is a 24/7 thing.

This program works and I am proof of it and am grateful for it. If someone else has a method which is working and keeping them sober that is good and it is not my place to try and talk them out of it. For me, I am going to stick with AA which has been working for me for over a year now, and for this recovering alcoholic, that is powerful stuff when I didn't even think I could get through one day without drinking!



BTY

The above '16 Steps for Discovery and Empowerment' sound a lot like giving 'power' to ones-self to rise above all 'life's problems' ... sounds a lot like 'playing God' to me ... AA tells us:

The first requirement is that we be convinced that any life run on self-will can hardly be a success. On that basis we are almost always in collision with something or somebody, even though our motives are good. Most people try to live by self-propulsion. Each person is like an actor who wants to run the whole show; is forever trying to arrange the lights, the ballet, the scenery and the rest of the players in his own way. If his arrangements would only stay put, if only people would do as he wished, the show would be great. Everybody, including himself, would be pleased. Life would be wonderful. In trying to make these arrangements our actor may sometimes be quite virtuous. He may be kind, considerate, patient, generous; even modest and self-sacrificing. On the other hand, he may be mean, egotistical, selfish and dishonest. But, as with most humans, he is more likely to have varied traits.
What usually happens? The show doesn't come off very well. He begins to think life doesn't treat him right. He decides to exert himself more. He becomes, on the next occasion, still more demanding or gracious, as the case may be. Still the play does not suit him. Admitting he may be somewhat at fault, he is sure that other people are more to blame. He becomes angry, indignant, self-pitying. What is his basic trouble? Is he not really a self-seeker even when trying to be kind? Is he not a victim of the delusion that he can wrest satisfaction and happiness out of this world if he only manages well? Is it not evident to all the rest of the players that these are the things he wants? And do not his actions make each of them wish to retaliate, snatching all they can get out of the show? Is he not, even in his best moments, a producer of confusion rather than harmony?
Our actor is self-centered-ego-centric, as people like to call it nowadays. He is like the retired business man who lolls in the Florida sunshine in the winter complaining of the sad state of the nation; the minister who sighs over the sins of the twentieth century; politicians and reformers who are sure all would be Utopia if the rest of the world would only behave; the outlaw safe cracker who thinks society has wronged him; and the alcoholic who has lost all and is locked up. Whatever our protestations, are not most of us concerned with ourselves, our resentments, or our self-pity?
Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate. Sometimes they hurt us, seemingly without provocation, but we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt.
So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn't think so. Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. We must, or it kills us! God makes that possible. And there often seems no way of entirely getting rid of self without His aid. Many of us had moral and philosophical convictions galore, but we could not live up to them even though we would have liked to. Neither could we reduce our self-centeredness much by wishing or trying on our own power. We had to have God's help.


Granting the power to heal ourselves, to ourselves, is a dangerous path to take in my humble opinion ... personally ??? ... I had to have God's help ... and there is no mention of His/Her help in recovery in this Zen thingy ... ... ... no matter how well presented that way of life (Zen) is ... it's just sugar coating to me ...

Total Honesty is what brought me to AA and they taught me it started with getting honest with myself ... I said that's why I'm here, ... I need help ... I cannot do this alone ...

I've known a few folks who have gone to meetings for years, and the Steps led them to improve their conscious contact with God through membership in a church.  And, it works well for them.  Some have also said that they were offended by all the religion-bashing that sometimes goes on in A.A. meetings.  And, I do know that does cause some people to disappear from meetings.  Not being a regular church-goer myself, I must admit that I have often found that going to church does augment my spiritual Program.  So, I do that once in a while too....but on no regular basis.  I know I need to be where I can carry the message to others like me, and let them continue to carry that same message to me.  I discovered the love of God as I was sitting in a steel folding chair, slopping coffee on the floor because of my shaky hands.  I know I'll always find Him there.  But, I also know that He's everywhere.

Blessings to all,

Mike D.

Troy wrote:

---

Recovery to me has been different, not the hopeless variety, but very much hopeful.

---

I'm not talking about the recovery being hopeless.....I look at at mine like a living miracle. I'm talking about the alcoholic of the hopeless variety. They talk about it here in our book.

Chapter 4

WE AGNOSTICS

In the preceding chapters you have learned something of alcoholism. We hope we have made clear the distinction between the alcoholic and the nonalcoholic. If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic. If that be the case, you may be suffering from an illness which only a spiritual experience will conquer.

To one who feels he is an atheist or agnostic such an experience seems impossible, but to continue as he is means disaster, especially if he is an alcoholic of the hopeless variety. To be doomed to an alcoholic death or to live on a spiritual basis are not always easy alternatives to face.

But it isn't so difficult. About half our original fellowship were of exactly that type. At first some of us tried to avoid the issue, hoping against hope we were not true alcoholics. But after a while we had to face the fact that we must find a spiritual basis of life - or else. Perhaps it is going to be that way with you. But cheer up, something like half of us thought we were atheists or agnostics. Our experience shows that you need not be disconcerted.

If a mere code of morals or a better philosophy of life were sufficient to overcome alcoholism, many of us would have recovered long ago. But we found that such codes and philosophies did not save us, no matter how much we tried. We could wish to be moral, we could wish to be philosophically comforted, in fact, we could will these things with all our might, but the needed power wasn't there. Our human resources, as marshalled by the will, were not sufficient; they failed utterly.

Lack of power, that was our dilemma. We had to find a power by which we could live, and it had to be a Power greater than ourselves. Obviously. But where and how were we to find this Power?

Well, that's exactly what this book is about. Its main object is to enable you to find a Power greater than yourself which will solve your problem.

The book contains a set of clear-cut directions for the 12 steps. The process of the 12 steps is how I found a power greater than myself...That solved my problem. So there is a lot of hope in my recovery....Hope I can share with a suffering alcoholic of the hopeless variety.

Wow what a ride!!  From people leaving meetings and disappearing to personal perception of program?...maybe more.  We have people disappear all the time by different methods and different outcomes and one of the outcomes is that the meetings continue anyways.  For me because of one of my assets...explicit memory...no one leaves the program as long as I'm participating in my recovery.   My recovery is the practice  of the recovery of many others who have come before me and shared their recovery with me.   We all know when a member comes back into the room from whatever journey they may have been on and that is when it gets wild because the love sharing (Aloha in my nation) is a daily life practice here.  We don't forget and never stop loving unconditionally.  We are all alcoholic and all attempting to never ever return to addictive drinking or drinking alcohol in any way.  We are elated when brothers and sisters come back into the room, just off the ocean and out in the atmosphere that some creator greater than ourselves has given to us.  My higher power?  My creator father? the father of all those around?  Akua...of course from the culture I was born into and who I asked for help as an 11year old born and raised also into the culture of alcoholism and before I found our recovery program.  Often times it is the personal character of the recovering alcoholic that draws someone else into recovery...the "I want what you have" connection.  My sponsor taught me to find and use whatever is available to help me gain and maintain my sobriety.  He was interested most in where I arrived at than how I got there.  He is a constant spirit guide now among many.  

As long as I have memory...no one disappears.